me: i need to do the thing

brain: it‘ll take SO LONG

me: i mean, probs under 5 minutes

brain: best not risk it though

me: you right, you right

~2 hours later~

brain: why didn’t you do thing

me: but you told m—

brain: you’re so lazy

me: now wait a seco—

brain: everyone’s right, you always do this, you’re a failure, you never change, it’s all your fault, you should be trying harder https://twitter.com/foxwafflesdraws/status/1380986447117815812

me: i want to do the thing

brain: but do you though?

me: what

brain: do you want to do the thing? when you could be doing something more fun?

me: well when you put it THAT way

brain: *refuses to turn switch from “Fun Mode” back to “Doing Stuff Mode” for the rest of the day*

me: all right, fine. let’s play this video game instead of doing The Thing

brain: but first...

me: but first what

brain: answer some texts. check twitter. tiktok. back to twitter. texts. reddit. youtube. tiktok.

video game screen that’s been paused 40 minutes: *deep sigh* https://twitter.com/grimshade89/status/1380998924916297728

me: okay let’s just watch netflix. that’d be fun.

~5 minutes in~

brain: pause it and find out where know this actor from

me: but we were watchi—

brain: i :) said :) pause :) https://twitter.com/peculiarplanets/status/1381001398737854476

me: we googled the actor. now can we unpause?

brain: open tiktok

me: but we were—

brain: do it

me: fine. oh, a guy solving a rubix cube

brain: buy a rubix cube

me: but we’re trying to save mon—

brain: do it

me: *opens amazon*

tv screen that’s been paused 1.5 hours:

me: rubix cube came in the mail. let’s goooo

brain: first, let’s watch videos on how to beat it

me: can’t we just play

brain: not if we’re gonna get frustrated/quit

me: and feel like a failure

brain: youuu got it

*too intimidated to watch tutorial, never touches rubix cube*