#NationalSiblingsDay2021

I find these “National” days about family in particular ones centred about siblings incredibly difficult

This long thread is why: https://twitter.com/siblings2gether/status/1237554046237462529

I’m 1 of 6 siblings- 9 if I included my step siblings. I’m the second oldest.

All 6 of us were taken into care, out of area & into different foster “placements”

My step siblings were living with their biological mother once we were taken away from my mum & stepdad.

My 3 youngest siblings were placed together in foster care (social services planned to have them closed adopted- which I didn’t know until I read my care files 2 years ago)

While me, my older brother & younger brother were placed out of area & away from our younger siblings.

My 3 youngest siblings after 3 months in foster care, were taken into kinship care by my step-grandparents

The older 3 of us were left in foster care until we all hit 16/18.

One of my younger brothers was placed near me & I saw him once a week thankfully.

His foster parent was my foster mums sister. So we’d often see each other over holidays & go to outings/events together.

This is something I’m very grateful happened.

My oldest brother was moved about so much, I wouldn’t see him for months at a time.

Once he turned 16 social services made no effort for me to see my oldest brother. I didn’t see him for 3 years.

I only saw him because I turned 16 & asked to see him.

My 3 youngest siblings I saw 4 times a year for 6 hours, as they were placed into kinship care 300 miles away from me.

This was only made 6 times a year after I begged my social worker to see them more.

When I turned 16 they again made little effort to keep me seeing them.

Social services made no effort for me to see my step siblings- I didn’t see any of them until I left my foster home at 16 & moved closer to my family by my own choice.

The memories I have of/with my siblings are either trauma related from before I went into care, in a community hall, or from the last 6 years off my life when I made my own decisions to see them.

For my sister Kaitlin who passed away in 2017. The memories I have off her are even less.

It’s difficult to grieve someone who’s passed away, who you were already grieving over when they were alive.

Especially when that person was your 12 sister.

If social services had made an effort to place us all near each other, had us all placed into kinship care or even a slight effort to keep us seeing each other regularly.

I honestly believe I would find grieving Kaitlins death easier & I’d have stronger sibling relationships with all of my siblings.

The work @siblings2gether does touches my heart & is truly something I believe social services/the care system needs to listen too

Here is a selection of my favourite photos of me & my siblings:

A trip to a theme park while we were in care

Kaitlins funeral: My oldest brother & step brother are missing from this photo

My oldest brother was in prison while Kaitlin funeral happened & wasn’t allowed to attend the funeral

Me & my brother at a Star Wars photo shoot

Me & Kaitlin