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The word "fat" is not inherently fat-shaming. "You can& #39;t do that, you& #39;re too fat" is fat-shaming. "I am a fat person, I am doing things as a fat person" is not fat-shaming. My own awareness of how the world sees me is not inherently fat-shaming.
COVID locked down the world just as I was switching from a doctor who said outright that she wouldn& #39;t be happy until I got down to 120 lbs., which is actively unhealthy for my build, to one who just wants me to be healthy and stable.
I managed to complete the switch, thankfully, but my new doctor has never seen me, and for the first time in my life, I& #39;ve been able to experience Skinny Girl Health Care.
Maybe he& #39;s just that amazing! I don& #39;t know! But what I do know is I said "my ankles are swelling" and he didn& #39;t say "it& #39;s all the fatness," he said "let& #39;s adjust your medication, that& #39;s an uncommon reaction to one of the drugs you& #39;re on."
I said "I am sad and scared all the time, I want to go back on Wellbutrin" and he didn& #39;t talk about its weight neutrality, he wrote me a prescription so I could be less sad.
I fucking love him. And right now, my therapist and I are working on the fact that I& #39;m afraid to meet him. I don& #39;t want to. Because what if he sees me and decides I& #39;m not a miracle of compliance, just a lying fatty fat fat who doesn& #39;t deserve quality of care?
