Riverdale just decided that they can't make Archie an Afghanistan war veteran, so instead of doing the time old tradition of inventing a fictional -Stan... they just invented a US-Uzbekistan war. Amazing

Also, the plot lines of this season:
1) Jughead has been abducted by the Mothman
2) Betty is an FBI agent investigating a serial killer who previously kidnapped her, who might have murdered prostitutes maybe including her sister (although that might also be Mothmen)

3) Veronica is estranged from her evil husband, and trying to outsmart her dad who has disestablished Riverdale
4) Archie is an army recruiter, except he's also running a new fire department, except he *also* has to coach a football team because somehow that will save the town

Mostly, I just wanted to say the sentence "Jughead got abducted by the Mothman"