1/ No, therapists shouldn’t be expected to allow sessions to go over the allotted time but they should be managing the time & aware of when it’s about to end, so they can help clients wind-down so they aren’t left vulnerable by an abrupt ending...
2/ And should be understanding if people feel abandoned and let down when it happens. Non-judgementally. Because therapy is relational and brings up those feelings naturally. Good therapists accept, manage & process this rather than blame people for feeling it & react defensively
3/ My therapist takes responsibility for this not by extending the session but by reminding me when we are nearing the end so that doesn’t happen as often. And certainly never would blame me for having those feelings. It’s not a thing to be annoyed with people for feeling.
4/ yes no one on here is anyone on here’s therapist (though all likely are someone on here’s therapists) but I’m surprised it’s being discussed in an us v them way rather than pointing out it’s *normal* for clients to feel this way and while a therapist can’t be blamed for it
5/ a good therapist will manage it, including by discussing non-judgementally the feelings it can bring up and how normal they are and engaging in strategies to limit its occurrence by managing the therapy hour (their role not clients’ roles) so no it’s not wrong to be upset
6/ by an abrupt ending in the midst of your worst trauma. It will happen even with the best but my experience is my therapist is alive to this & sees it as *his* responsibility to manage it rather than say “oh well you can’t expect us to give extra time & your feelings are bad”
And of course it will happen even with the best therapists but shaming people for feeling let down is not the answer
Thank goodness my therapist proactively takes responsibility for this rather than blaming me if it has adverse effects or suggesting feelings that arise as a result are bad or wrong or unjust
This is a thing I learned from my therapist who (1) acknowledges when it happens and (2) takes responsibility for it
It’s as easy as noting it “we have about 7 minutes left—how would you like to use the time we have remaining?” Or whatever strategy is needed but it is a therapist’s responsibility to manage & it it keeps happening it is indeed a problem & people are right to feel let down
Also a good therapist will have a procedure for at least acknowledging when it happens & offering validation and care. “I’m sorry we have to end now and we’re in a painful area. Can you engage in extra self-care for the next little bit?”
Like simple caring and responsibility go a long way. Blaming people for having unrealistic expectations of therapists totally misses the points that it’s therapists who are supposed to help people manage those expectations & validate the feelings therapy brings up
So yeah if your therapist abruptly ends in the midst of your worst trauma with no acknowledgement of how painful that is and no effort to address and ameliorate that the therapist indeed failed
And again this is my perspective as a client but also something my therapist and I explicitly discuss in an ongoing way with him describing his role and taking full responsibility for it
You can follow @crys_tom.
Tip: mention @twtextapp on a Twitter thread with the keyword “unroll” to get a link to it.

Latest Threads Unrolled: