Thread by @isocrime, it's time: an shl wenzhou supercut livetweet thread because i'm in it [...]

it's time: an shl wenzhou supercut livetweet thread because i'm in it deep, folks. i'm in it real deep. LET'S GET TO IT

starting from the top: when they introduce zhou zishu you just have no idea how miserable he is, because you don't know yet what it looks like when he's happy! but looking back he's SO WRECKED, this is even worse than the crying because he's just joyless

look at what he wears when he's got the choice in comparison: soft, unstructured, a little gappy and oversized so he's always shaking his hands out of his sleeves. for ten years he didn't allow himself to be HUMAN and he was SO UNHAPPY

it's like they know my favorite thing in the whole world is a gorgeous man cry-laugh-smiling while they have a complete fucking emotional breakdown

this has been bothering me though: where does nail number seven go? the six i see are all along the milk line (see helpful diagram) but like WHERE DO YOU PUT THE ODD ONE OUT???

this shot with the swelling strings is giving me flashbacks to my dad watching doctor zhivago in the middle of winter every couple of years for my entire childhood

hey what's up with these scars yo we haven't unlocked this backstory yet by episode 24

this ENTIRE shirtless kneeling scene and there is not a SINGLE reveal of zzh's bomb ass, they hid this from us somehow. it seems so improbable that you could miss an ass that banging in a scene like this it has to be on purpose. to persecute us. fuck you, director of photography

is this the best we're gonna get? this is completely failing to show off the goods, that could just be a run-of-the-mill not-tragic ass, this isn't pornographic at all

this reactivated the screaming klaxon of the crush i had on arwen as a youth

oh hey it's the goblin king contact juggling his special nuts that he had to stand in line for

*record scratch* you're probably wondering how i ended up here *begin flashback* well it all started when i got all 81 of my xiongdi killed one by one...

zhou "it's only one boat ride michael, what could it cost? three mace of silver?" zishu went to the halloween store at the outlet mall and picked up the first "sexy beggar" outfit he found, complete with hat, gaping neckline, and quaint gourd-flask

zzs is having way too much fun with his poorsona

why is this poor boy's fringe cut at a 45 degree angle

you know you've been watching a lot of costume dramas when you see this and say "YOU SLUT" out loud

to be fair that v-neck would place you firmly in the "gay or douchebag" danger zone even in the modern day

LET HIM SHOW OFF HIS BOAt he LOVES HIS BOAT

look he's ugly now but he's having a blast

zzs looks like the most world-weary of your disaster sorority sisters coming downstairs at 7am post-party, yesterday's bump-it and bronzer still on, trying to understand why everyone is standing around discussing the mystery of whose handbag got barfed in last night

"why do i still live with these bitches? i was gonna go on a run so i could have a guilt-free frapp with dbl whipped cream afterwards this morning. i was going to be fulfilling my lifestyle goals and posting about it on insta, but instead, purse-puke"

if i'm not being 100% dramatic 100% of the time i'll DIE

we GET THE PICTURE you're GAGGING FOR IT you don't have to make that face AND compliment his sword, one is more than sufficient to broadcast your intentions re: zzs's dick

i have a feeling about wkx in healer!mode, how the wen-fengzi mask goes away and all that posturing and cruelty melts off him and leaves behind a competent young man in a hard situation

and also look at wenzhou already not needing to say things out loud, good for them

what kind of raisin-hearted stingy bastard of a man could look a this face and deny him a nice dicking

this is a surprisingly un-crazy level of reaction given he's talking about his entire dead family

grab (photos 1 and 2): timestamp 43:31
release (photos 3 and 4): timestamp 43:50

that's almost twenty full seconds of holding that zzs could have stopped at any time but didn't, do the math

i love wkx's fussy fucking flask, mourned deeply when long-bobo threw it into a cave-pond for no reason

i also love zzs's fussy fucking flask, because of course he's still got a bunch of classy things stuffed in his sleeves, he's got TASTE, he just chooses not to show it

wen kexing here to demonstrate his incredibly loose grasp on the concept of "personal autonomy is a thing for other people not just me"

it's not gay to hold hands as long as you don't go palm to palm

look at him he's so proud reciting his lil original nursery rhyme

zhou zishu, being sexually harassed by a series of longing gazes: i'm waking up our chaperone

A-XU IT'S A REALLY GOOD BOAT

A-XU

A-XU, BOAT!

he's imagining zzs's dick so hard that a-xiang can see it

in polite society, we call that "stalking"

the way zzs leans away with his entire body like you do when someone sits down next to you on the subway while there's an empty row right fucking there

god look at zzs coming down the stairs full prom dress reveal style wearing the clothes wkx picked out for him

asdLKfjsdl;gaskfdjhskaldhfksdhskdjfhFSDFKLJHF

1: not over that zzs is just wearing clothes wkx picked for him without being stubborn about it
2: wkx paid attention and picked soft robes like zzs likes
3: so matchy (when's the next time we see wkx in clothes this soft?)
4: AND SO LOW-CUT GODDAMN CAPTAIN COLLARBONES OVER HERE

he really did get them matching father-son outfits so they don't get lost at disneyworld

zhou zishu plays hard to get and then practically takes wkx's hand and sucks on his fingers. this hand-fondling continues to be obscene, xiyao and their box have not NOTHING on wenzhou. fucking amateur-hour over there in the untamed

GOD THEY MATCH SO HARD I'M DYING WEN KEXING HAS NO SHAME

wkx watching this fight with his nuts and his fan like a gentry lady having a picnic on a hill overlooking the battle of waterloo

the comedy of zzs's cool battle technique being to snap the enemy with a wet towel like a rowdy locker room boy while wkx makes more jokes about his dick is too good

you can tell it's a dramatic moment because they're pointing a fan at his wig

sticky :c

we make fun of wen kexing for not knowing how to wash his hands, but have you considered: if he uses both hand his sleevies might get wet

add another one to the "coerced into eating a very terrible fish on a stick by the props department" column

this beautiful, spray-tanned, useless man who doesn't know you have to take the guts out first

who let him go camping

the incredible audacity of gong "wuhu" jun saying this to zhang zhehan's face

gaypanic.png

my favorite thing is when wkx does something annoying and zzs immediately does it back to him

can't pay attention to this scene, have to figure out if these dusty-ass peacocks are real or puppets, and if puppets, how do they work and WHO IS OPERATING THEM DILIGENTLY IN THE BACKGROUND THE WHOLE TIME

who is the peacock puppeteer and are they proud of their work

i love wkx's "my poetry is so clever" face, what an insufferable nerd

this cableknit situation on uncle useless is a lot to deal with

no it's not nice your prawn is not nice we are in public i don't want your prawn right now

i'm surprised we haven't used this incredibly sophisticated "oops i need to go vomit somewhere" to escape wkx's lusty gazes yet

this man has personally killed so many people

look at his little concern face he's so worried that a-xu is going to get sliced up like deli meat

oh no he's hiding behind his fan

it's cute

there's a lot to love here

iconic last-minute line change

because that's a face that says "mom" loud and clear

i can't believe they set up the fucking chicken thing 22 episodes ahead of time

blink and you miss it hand-hold still very good, worth the swat zzs lands on him

this?????? THIS?????? this is that good vampire-fucker shit right here. this is what we all wanted back when we were young dummies watching buffy. here it is.

two further points:

1) there is only ONE vampire au on ao3 which is a crime
2) for all that fussing about "oh there's blood on my sleeve/hand ew gross" this sure is a lot of being cool with blood IN YOUR MOUTH, both of you

the face of a man realizing that he is going to have to get his hair wet saving a dumbass who can't swim

THE PRETTY REVEAL

GOODBYE EYELINER BEARD

HELLO A-XU BAREFACED AND DEWY IN HIS WET UNDERTHINGS

everyone should take a moment to consider that one does not jump in a lake and climb out with only the outermost layer of robes soaked

realistically wkx is watching his own personal wet t-shirt contest and he is WINNING

HOW DID THEY STILL HIDE IT (it = ass)

tfw the props department didn't provide cut-open rabbits so you just got to make do by splashing water on its belly (zzh) or dunking half of it in the water (gj) and making vague hand gestures

great technique fellas

NO MERCY

hey buddy are we gonna address those feelings you have about your past that are painted all over your face or are you gonna be a littl --

ah. no. little shit it is.

a-xu pay atten --

a-xu pay --

a-xu pay attENTION TO ME

he's like a LIMPET

paY ATTENTION!!!!!!!

wrong tactic uncle nailgun, that's just gonna make his pussy wetter

the best thing about zhou zishu is that he's secretly such a catty bitch

strip dominos is going well

I WAS ONLY MAKING A JOKE ABOUT THE STRIP DOMINOS

serves me right for thinking i could out-gay word of honor

wen kexing is going to unhinge his jaw and eat him dick first

queen stankface strikes again

people say that wen kexing is the cat one but zhou zishu right here is channelling 100% "cat that just got put in a harness and forgot how to use its legs" energy

S:LDKFSJDGKJHSDLFKJ YEP THIS STILL HITS LIKE A TRUCK THE SECOND GO AROUND

zhou zishu is so /good/ for wen kexing, even this early in their relaysh. it's already more than a fun game or a challenge, wkx is gone on him

wen kexing holding han ying's neck like it's his mother's good china, not his only grip on a dangerous hostage

still haven't fully processed the veil situation

christ, no wonder han ying has a crush

nbd nbd just thinking about how i'm dying

oh so i'm just supposed to put up with this? i'm supposed to be good and cool with "someone very important" and not lose my shit? fuck off. fuck off!!!

gong jun's face can make an expression SO SAD

he was going to take care of that dog until it was gray in the face, its whole LIFETIME because someone IMPORTANT GAVE IT TO HIM

and that didn't work out did it

(it was still a puppy; wen kexing was still a child)

is this the first time zzs initiates touch with wkx instead of the other way around outside of a flirtfight? because he's moved to give comfort to wkx on instinct???

this man is such a shidifucker

HEWWO, MISTAH PWESIDENT~~~

IT'S TWIME TO PAY PAWTENTION TO MEOW-WEN!!~!!!!!

extremely ooc for wkx to ignore this unprotected morning wood

are we supposed to believe zzs is going to escape that room with a dick like that before receiving a virtuosic blowie?

re: above tweet, i'm also grateful for zzs's commitment to really Acting this part or whatever poor sock made this sacrifice

"get up"x3 and "let's go!"x5 in under 20 seconds

a-xu please take him out on a walk

two gays, watching the 4 sages of anji, 0 feet apart cause they're fuuuUCKING SOULMATES

we saw some old gays in love and now the correct distance from each other is NOT EVEN AN ATOM CAN SQUEEZE THRU

you know that moment when you first saw an old married lesbian and were like "oh yeah, that. that's the dream" and it rocks your world? these dummies: world rocked

i know from many years of walking hip to hip with my wife that before you get the hang of it there's a lot of shoulder-bonks, and wenzhou are really suffering from that problem in this scene

it's not zzs's fault that he thought wkx meant "come to the roof with me and get ur dick sucked" and not "let's have a murder-watching party"

"if there is a single drop of come left in you by the end of the evening i will take it as a personal affront"

i had a plan for tonight. i was gonna fly up onto the roof in a T pose, drink some wine, get a semi-public blowie, and now there's MURDERS? disrupting my NICE DATE? for shame. for SHAME.

zzs:

wkx:

babe, it was just like, two dead guys what's the big deal

babe

babe c'mon don't be like that

babe?

i brought this bitch breakfast and everything

oops

this part is very sad but also

wen kexing doesn't carry a sword

he stole a sword off a dead person so he could dig a pathetic little guilt-grave very ineffectively

let's jerk off this sword together, like friends do

literally two seconds later. i could have waited TWO MORE SECONDS and that joke would have been way better

growing up in missouri i knew so many women who would have killed to have bangs like that

southern ladies /weep/

HAN YING NOW'S YOUR CHANCE

catch him on the rebound!!!!

none of you post-yoga-class perfect-skin bitches at the grocery store are allowed to judge me for buying a box of franzia rose to finish by myself tonight because i just had the worst fucking breakup and that means this wine is SELF CARE

this is a perfectly normal amount of alcohol to consume after you have a fight with your friend

han ying: [loredrop]
zhou zishu: please i'm so hungover

poor han ying no wonder he's hot for teacher

he's just /like this/

all the time!

han ying is defenseless

i'm a little teapot full of murder

DONCHU WISH UR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME

COMPUTER, ENHANSCE

oh i would just LOVE to eat a baby, you'll have to send me the recipe

these enya bangs are spectacular

she left, man

she left and she took my dog and my truck with her

a-xu, buddy, even chengling can tell you're a corpse on legs

life comes at u fast

it just looks like he's sitting at a picnic table at the world's worst rest stop along I-80

i love practical effects, this shot is so pretty

aw, got him right in the ovaries

dear props department: hi, it's me again, what in fresh fucking hell is this shit on a stick

this plucky middle-grade fantasy novel protagonist i stg

dead friends et al.

i'm not soft-hearted YOU'RE soft-hearted stop projecting

zzs is this kind of wine mom

wen kexing says i'm in this picture and i don't like it

zhou zishu used SINCERITY

it's a CRITICAL HIT

literally dropping our kid off at summer camp

well, put me in the "not okay" column, cause of meltdown: the expression on wkx's face when he's hugged by a child. hate this for me.

"have a great first day at kindergarten, honey! make new friends! try not to get used to smuggle magical artifacts again!"

"we could have another one, if you wanted"

the face of a man who's dealing super well with sending a child into the loving arms of his super-healthy murder-politics family

OH MY GOD JUST TELL HIM HE'S A GOOD BOY AND COME ON HIS FACE

AND THEN THEY KISS!!!!!!!!!!!

TWITTER CROPPING ALGORITHM I AM BEGGING.

AND THEN!!!!! THEY!!!!!! KISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

zzs: i don't know what i expected (derogatory)

a-xiang is NOT getting involved with your shit

he's so pleased with himself when he's annoying wen kexing

he's /glowing/

measured the duration of this soulful gaze directly into wen kexing's eyeballs and it's twenty seconds which is WAY too long

TWITTER CROP ALGORITHM YOU DILDO

Janet?
Dr. Scott?
Janet?
Brad?
Rocky!

this isn't even hard the answer is always "i'm going to die"

i'm gonna need to take a minute

to investigate these mustaches

tag urself

how come lao wen isn't jonesing for this mustache ride

zzs:

wkx: this is not my beautiful wife

zhou zishu just did the "tilt your chin up with the tip of my blade" move on wen kexing

but with a makeup brush, because he is terrible

soooooo...that looks like a hard no on the crossdressing kink

this isn't even a CREATIVE opening to a gay porno

it's hard to capture it in screenshots, but this moment where zzs kicks a chair out of the way to make space for wkx to kneel really gets to my pussy

in 2009 this would have been primo manip material

太帅了～

IF I AM NOT BEING 100% DRAMATIC 100% OF THE TIME I'LL DIE

there he is

my favorite character in the show

mean sword grandpa

when ye baiyi gets a kill in call of duty he will absolutely teabag you

you think it's funny once

yby thinks it's funny one hundred times

zzs is looking at wkx's hand the way my mother used to look at crazy neighbor fran coming up the driveway to tell us about how the delivery boy was purposefully letting her newspapers get rained on

and here we can see wkx mentally rewriting his future to include the word "widower"

local immortal forgets how time works, makes himself and everyone around him sad

wkx: a-xu, a-xu say something, a-xu i think i'm hyperventilating

zzs: *how have none of these fuckos ever heard of patient privacy*

mr teeth has perfected his crazy-eyes look

that is one sicknasty high five

yeah these two gonna fuck

how you fight as a prelude to tender lovemaking under the moonlight

vs how you fight before you FUCK

THIS IS A HIPPA VIOLATION!!!!

zhou zishu WILL send nudes, but he's gonna be mad about it

tit reveal reaction cam

this is not the emotion wen kexing thought he'd be feeling the first time he saw zhou zishu's nipples

yby: go back to clown school
wkx: i am the PRESIDENT of clown school

literally the only thing wkx and yby agree on is that zzs's whole "i'm dying and you can't help neener neener" schtick is not cool actually

YOU KNOW IT'S GETTING REAL WHEN THE FULL NAMES COME OUT

this fucking rotten liar who lies, he already can't fucking taste things

a-xu you're the worst boyfriend

we're all doing a great job managing our guilt over stubbornly choosing to die now that there's someone who'll be left behind to grieve in the club tonight

there is someone on the camera crew for this show who just cannot for the life of them shoot in focus and it is driving me insane

no. nope. uh-uh. no.

i got nothing

everyone was SMILING. everyone was HAPPY. the men all had ERECTIONS and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE WOMEN was ovulating left AND right.

and no one, NO ONE, was sad.

seven minutes in to episode 15 and this luuk is the only interesting thing that's happened so far

finally. at last. someone as bad at disguise as zhou "master spy-assassin" zishu. this is the most halfassed whack at crossdressing i've ever seen in my life and i have seen people use birthday balloons as fake titties before

fwip fwip it's your friendly neighborhood scorpion-girl

why can't i have a normal boyfriend who likes watching normal things like basketball or HGTV

how is it that there are THIS MANY PEOPLE and i don't care about ANY OF THEM

watching uncle To Catch A Predator go splat is so much more satisfying the second time around

rhetorical master zhou zishu coming back with a classic 'i'm fucking ur mom' jab here

you idiots broke up, AGAIN, literally HALF AN EPISODE AGO could you TRY to wait a respectable amount of time before going straight back to tender eyefucking? (no)

somebody put a child-leash on this kid

you know how sometimes you're trying to have an adult conversation, but there's cheese on the table and the cat NEEDS to check it out so you just grab him by his little kitty armpits and put him in hug-jail?

being this kid's uncle is a fucking health hazard

oops again

this sheer inner robe is

can't listen to the dialogue, too distracted by how that water is dripping DIRECTLY DOWN HIS SLEEVE it's gonna make everything WET and AWFUL

wkx seduction tip: never miss an opportunity to cover a-xu's entire hand with your own

YE BAIYI IS BACK MOTHERFUCKERS

sweeping in full mary poppins style with an umbrella and a man in a sack

uuuuhhhhhhhh......no?

2 orphans, discovering what it's like to have a mother in law

please can we not fight in the safeway i just want to buy cold cuts as a family

for the past five minutes my wife has been pointing at yby and declaring "THAT. THAT IS A BRAT TAMER AT WORK."

did you know: i love him

he's not even driving

the writers of this show: i am going to create an wen kexing that is so annoying

he deserved to be ghost boss

do not let this green man into your house, he will ruin your furniture on purpose

this man is like 200 years old

ye baiyi, sword immortal, capable of leveling ten trees in a single swing: i'm annoyed, i'm going to wing a rock at this dummy's head
the rock: NOPE

why did we take grandpa camping with us

we could have just gone to the beach and left him on a deck chair

wkx's voice actor purposefully recorded that audible gasp of pique

i can't capture in screenshots how many times wkx has to blink in outrage at yby in this scene but: it is a lot

zhou zishu...is holding. the child leash. in his hand. it's not tied to anything so he could have just - he could have - at ANY time -

zhou zishu is the mean gym teacher in an after school special

dude...

language

camera focus on character's faces? fuck you.

WOLONG NUTS THO: CRUNCHY AND /CRISP/

if you don't have a running horse to drag your disciple behind, a sandbag will do

CRiIIISPSSSPPPPP

KEEP THAT GOTDAM LOGO IN FOCUS EAT SHIT ACTORS

MILF MILF MILF MILF MILF MILF MILF MILF MILF MILF MILF MILFMILF MILF

yeah they're gonna fuck tho

GIRL GET OUT, HE'S NOT WORTH IT

TELL. HIM. HE. IS. A. GOOD. BOY. AND. COME. ON. HIS. FACE.

don't be a coward and try to tell me wkx and yby didn't have athletic sex in the carriage while zzs made chengling do 3000 pushups

the thing about yby is that 95% of the time he's a massive tool, but then that 5% really gets you in the chest

oh-HO guess who doesn't knock before entering other people's hotel rooms EITHER

how the turns have tabled

i just made this joke, please

I JUST MADE THIS JOKE C'MON PLEASE (comeonhisface)

wkx: could you take your meds
zzs: oh so you hate the disabled? you love eugenics? doctors ain't shit and neither are their orphan children
wkx: i only have one friend please take your meds

zzs, at the t-ball game: DON'T BE A PUSSY, WALK IT OFF

this boy is the bravest little toaster of them all

zzs is real over wkx's attempts to guilt him into not dying by being "in love" and "prepared to grieve him forever"

another valuable life lesson from the chang ming sword immortal: get punk'd

this button is like the size of a HAMBURGER how did they miss it???????

well shit, this isn't the best time to discover i care about these total losers

the second this kid calls you uncle they hand you a red shirt

i love coach zhou, all he does is tell you there's no crying in baseball and throw chairs

i love myst(1993)

wkx: i touch
zzs: [violence]
wkx: i touch...lil higher
zzs: the FUCK did i just say

wkx is just one of us, looking at a kitty belly....wanting to pet

this fucking hypocrite, it's been less than 30 seconds

oh cool wen kexing has a silmaril

wait no don't throw --

did we learn nothing from maglor and maedhros, this is how you end up singing sad songs on a beach forever

*WHEEZES* this is fine

can i still say "that's so yonic" if they fired him out of the vagina-cave like a spud out of a potato gun?

that rock is a pussy.

wenzhou are so gay that the rock-cooch EXPLODED them away from itself

IT'S MY THREAD AND I CAN MAKE THREE YONIC PASSAGE JOKES IN A ROW IF I WANNA

i'm going to have to do an episode-by-episode count of wenzhou hand touches because this is excessive

my brain says: zzs is covering for the fact that his body is failing him by being a dead weight pain in the ass and that's so poignant

my boner says: zzs is getting world-class head right here, good for him

i'll miss you, pussy-cave

we barely knew ye

wen kexing is VALID, normalize wen kexing's reaction to creepy puppets

this cave isn't yonic at all :c

ye baiyi for babysitter of the year

R O A S T E D

"awwww little zishu found his first real friend we didn't think he had it in him"

every old person on this show is SAVAGE

if i remember correctly 90% of this episode is just copy pasted shots of this face

ctrl+c

ctrl+v

flip horizontal

if you think for one ding dong second that i have the energy to care about all these dead fuckos having tea when i could be watching gong jun hold the same teary-eyed expression for another five minutes you're gonna need to think a diddly dang 'gain.

oh no their plucky buffer-zone is leaving

ye baiyi is about to throw hands with this dude at the nursing home

ctrl+v

i could make an entire bulletin board of just this face from just this episode

oh no he's little :c

zhou zishu has ONE TECHNIQUE

how am i supposed to keep cranking out the laughs under these gay conditions??????

i'm contacting my union rep

from chengling's pov, his gym teacher/new father's mysterious friend is ready murder a nice old man who patted him on the head and gave him a butterscotch candy

they didn't cover this in D.A.R.E.

chengling's story is wild when you think about it

it's like if a bus driver handed a child over to a nearby homeless man because he turned out to be surprisingly good with a gun

please, not in front of grandpa

i have a costume suggestion

if you say so lmao

any volunteers to come up here and cry with me over ye baiyi's complicated relationship with memory and remembrance?

when are we gonna learn: don't let chengling call you bobo you WILL die

i'm gonna appreciate the emotions here but first

nice :3

i don't think zzs KNOWS that wkx's whole brain is screaming "are you going to beg me to do the same thing for you in two years, will i have to do this twice"

but that sure is what's happening here

the all-nite shidifucker diner is OPEN FOR BUSINESS

this is my favorite fucking show

okay we're back in the damn cave we've been in for 2 episodes, zzs has flipped the switch from dickhead in chief to unconditional shidi-love, wkx is Still Crying

let's go

roll up your sleeves it's time for some next-level explicit hand-holding

workers rights means fuck your boss

we're just gonna let chengling watch the cannibalism then?

somebody put some parental controls on this kid's LIFE

zzs: sexy discipline? eh? yeah? lil roleplay? i'll be shixiong, u be shidi? u down?
wkx: *dial tone*

well, Precious Moment, your shifu just blatantly propositioned your shishu and he's still hoping for a "yes, i do want to get spanked in a meadow" so hush

- and a fall wedding, and three to four grandkids, and

when they guy you've been on like 2 dates with mentions three to four grandkids

wuchang gui is so tired of xie-wang's shit he's going to turn himself into a flounder and go live under the sea

we love him

WOLVERINE CLAWS?????????

hey uh...buddy? u ok there? there's some *waves hands* crazy-eye going on there

somebunny is tired after his 5k no-fun run

just put me

into

my grave

what the FUCK yifu, first you want me to murder then you don't want me to murder I AM GETTING MIXED MESSAGES

rest in piss rape ghost

what if........xie'er was top......

du pusa speaking for me

man being annoying, time to deploy LEG

now it is zzs's turn to :3

INCORRECT REACTION TO A SUDDEN CORPSE, LAO WEN

NEVERMIND, I FORGOT A-XU IS A SOCIOPATH TOO

STREET SMARTS

NOW YOU'VE THROWN HIM OFF HIS RHYTHM

not to victim-blame but this boy practically kidnaps himself

c'mon bro, he wanted to torture one of those goons

on the one hand it's funny that wkx startles zzs and promptly gets hit for being irritating

on the other it's upsetting because zzs should have been able to hear him coming

time to take a sadness bath in the least sexy lighting ever

i'm honestly impressed with how spectacularly unsexy this bath scene is

upsettinggggg

this fucking alcoholic dispensing midnight wisdom again

thank you i am in fact cHRoNiCALLy iLL. i am by definition aLwAYs SiCK.

level 1 shovel talk: "if you hurt him you'll die"
level 40 shovel talk: "if you die you'll hurt him"

rookie mistake, a-xu

he's so mad and it's SO GOOD

read the room, uncle useless

it's too late to apologize

it's too late~~~~

my man. read. the fucking. room.

1) they are in LOVE so much LOVE fuck fuck fuck
2) vampire au tho??

a-xiang please i need to do some gay stuff with lao wen and for that you need to not be here

every time you thought this bedside hand-holding was as good as it could get it GOT BETTER

this vulnerable over-the-shoulder hair look on wkx is Doing It For Me

so we were all dead certain he was going to just drink from the bowl while zzs held it, right?

i'm so down for these kill-all-rapists militant lesbian separatists

haha how could this be about gender if the role of "wronged woman" resonates with me when i'm not a woman, absolutely none of this applies to my situation because if it does then i'm getting ROYALLY fucked over by this guy too and that just can't be right hahahaha ha

this narrative arc is so good, i love the complete lack of surprise on her face that she was right. she saw the pattern on xie'er plain as day because it's always the same shitty fucking story with the same shitty fucking man

WE GET IT THEY'RE MARRIED

i've got it all planned out, a-xu. i arrange for a-xiang and all the servant girls, we spend the rest of our lives together savoring every moment, and then in two years you'll die and i'll follow you in a blaze of vengeful glory. everything's great!

you take???? a-xu's alcohol from him? you deprive his withered body of liquids so he will die??? lao wen is heartless? lao wen is cruel?????

couch! couch for lao wen! no sex one thousand years!

awwww look at him, bright eyed and bushy tailed in a good mood that's going to be ruined instantly!

how many times do we get to watch zhao jing tell xie'er he's stupid, hahahahahaaa

screaming at my tv "honey tell me where he lives i'll buy you a train ticket and slash his fucking tires so he can't come after you"

wkx dressing for the job he wants: lady of siji manor

i would like to salute the hard work of all the halloween store spiders in the dressing of this set

Latest Threads Unrolled: