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Scrolling the TL seeing 3 different ppl talking about wanting to dye their hair & obviously that made me miss my various hair shenanigans - I have so many ideas about what I want to do with it when things are safer! - & I realized how much autonomy this pandemic has taken.
The sense of ownership & autonomy over my own body has been really stripped away in so many areas for me: my hair doesn’t change with my mood/whims. My nails don’t look how I want them to look. I had planned to get additional piercings & while tame (adding to my ears) I feel. . .
. . . Incomplete isn’t the right word, maybe unrefined? A friend of mine talks about his body mods as being part of his experience of humanity “this is my body, & I know it is mine, because I can mark it as mine & adjust it to my preference.” similar to the “temple” idea right?
Like, yes my body is a temple! It is *my* temple & I decide on the decor, the symbols, the offerings, who & what is allowed inside it, etc. My temple doesn’t suit my spirit right now, & I look forward to being able to change that in the near future.
On the flip side, social media has shown me so many ppl having a radically different relationship to their bodies & their genders in lockdown! Without the eyes of society & it’s rigid expectations on them, soooo many ppl are fucking around with their look, their hair, their style
Fucking around with gender, realizing maybe one of the two basic default settings society allows isn’t actually their gender at all. There are so many home dye jobs & kitchen sink mullets & press on nails, so many people finding such liberation & freedom & I am joyful for them!
Part of my having the opposite experience is rooted in privilege for me, of course! I color pretty cleanly inside the lines of “woman” & specifically “femme woman” so it’s been safe & not all radical for me to experiment/customize the meat suit for a long time. I work in the arts
My bosses at the time LOVED my ass length galaxy hair, in shades of purple & hot pink. My coworkers have preferred tattoo artists & piercers (including aforementioned friend), my mom & I got piercings together for Mother’s Day a few years back, I’m super safe you know?
There is literally no point to this thread, lol. Just thoughts! I miss decorating & modifying myself in a way that helps me feel at home in this meatsuit/temple. I’m excited for all the ppl who’ve found freedom to experiment in lockdown. I think everyone should have that freedom.
