Read on Twitter
Can I tell you a story?
It’s a bit long and super personal and something I’ve never shared publicly before but I hope the ending makes you smile as much as it did me.
Here we go...
It’s a bit long and super personal and something I’ve never shared publicly before but I hope the ending makes you smile as much as it did me.
Here we go...
My parents divorced when I was 3 months old after a really rocky marriage.
When I was 6, my dad left forever. We talked a few times on the phone after that but I’ve only seen him once since then.
When I was 6, my dad left forever. We talked a few times on the phone after that but I’ve only seen him once since then.
He came to town when I was in college bc we thought my grandmother was dying. When I went to my aunt’s house to see him, he opened the door and had no idea who I was.
We ended up talking for a while that day & for a few months after that but never again. That was about 15yrs ago
We ended up talking for a while that day & for a few months after that but never again. That was about 15yrs ago
Fast forward to November 2019. @ancestry was having a Black Friday sale and I’d always heard my dad’s grandparents were born on a reservation somewhere in Arizona and I was curious to finally confirm that story or put it to rest. So I ordered a DNA test.
6-8 weeks later my results finally arrived just as I was putting my kids to bed one night in January 2020. Turns out not only do I not have any Native American heritage, but I’m about as white as you can get. Like embarrassingly white.
But that doesn’t mean the family lore was wrong.
Because you see I also learned from that @ancestry DNA that my “dad” was not actually my biological father.
Because you see I also learned from that @ancestry DNA that my “dad” was not actually my biological father.
To say this was shockingly unexpected would be an understatement.
But in my particular case it wasn’t necessarily unwelcome either for all the reasons listed above.
But in my particular case it wasn’t necessarily unwelcome either for all the reasons listed above.
But I assumed it had to be a mistake. Because I had no reason to believe it. So I got to work trying to prove the test results wrong. Turns out @Ancestry tests can produce inaccurate results but there is one instance in which they are 100% accurate: a parent/child relationship.
But I still didn’t believe it so I got to googling and Facebook searching anything I could. Which wasn’t easy because I didn’t have a name. All I had were initials and a username. Both were dead ends.
So I turned to mutual cousins whose names I didn’t recognize. I found one person on Facebook and started scrolling through her Facebook friends to see if I could find someone with the right initials.
I did.
But he lived in California.
But he was from Nashville.
So I got to Facebook stalking him.
I thought I could find some bit of information that would place him any California and prove the results wrong.
But he lived in California.
But he was from Nashville.
So I got to Facebook stalking him.
I thought I could find some bit of information that would place him any California and prove the results wrong.
By sheer chance he and his wife make funny Christmas cards and had recently posted all of them. So I got to scrolling to find a Christmas card that would put him in California and not in Nashville in 1982. I was born January 1983.
I scrolled and scrolled and scrolled till I got to 1983 and there was a card of him in California. Then I got to 1982...and there was no card.
Because he said he had moved that year to California...from Nashville.
Because he said he had moved that year to California...from Nashville.
But I was still in denial so I kept scrolling. Until I found another picture from 1982 where he mentioned where he worked.
Which was the same place my mom worked at the same time.
I finally conceded the truth.
He was my biological father.
Which was the same place my mom worked at the same time.
I finally conceded the truth.
He was my biological father.
So I reached out to him. And talked to my mom. Both conversations were excruciatingly awkward, especially with my mom.
But you know what?
They couldn’t have gone any better.
He and his wife have turned out to be incredibly kind, generous, loving people.
But you know what?
They couldn’t have gone any better.
He and his wife have turned out to be incredibly kind, generous, loving people.
So whereas these sorts of situations can usually & understandably be really traumatic for obvious reasons, for me it’s been a godsend that has completely inverted the roles of “dad” & “stepmom” in my story, changing them from villains to people I can’t wait to get to know better
But that was January 2020.
2 months later the world shutdown because of COVID, making any sort of meeting impossible.
2 months later the world shutdown because of COVID, making any sort of meeting impossible.
So, we’ve spent the past year texting and FaceTiming and talking on the phone from time to time. It’s been wonderful getting to know them from a distance, but we’ve both been anxious to finally meet in person.
Fast forward to 2021.
2 months ago my wife got vaccinated.
So did my dad.
A month ago I got vaccinated.
And yesterday, thanks to @pfizer, I got to meet my dad for the very first time.
2 months ago my wife got vaccinated.
So did my dad.
A month ago I got vaccinated.
And yesterday, thanks to @pfizer, I got to meet my dad for the very first time.
