Not only do a lot of folks in the detrans women's community still deal with dysphoria but there's also a lot of concern about people retransitioning. I knew detrans women who acted like many in the community were right on the edge of identifying as trans and/or transitioning.

They blamed this on social forces supposedly pushing people to identify as trans, that was why there needed to be spaces to get away from and counter this "social contagion". It also meant people's behavior in those space were policed to ensure they weren't a "bad influence".

It wasn't uncommon for detrans women to distance themselves from trans people or trans-related media to keep themselves from feeling dysphoric or tempted to transition. You're taught to see trans people and trans culture as a negative influence that can drag you down.

You're not just working on "reconciling with being female" for yourself, you're doing it for the group, to help everyone else resist the "temptation" of "giving into" your dysphoria by seeing yourself as trans or transitioning. You don't want to became a "social contagion".

I kept living as a women to make it easier to help other detrans women live as women, even though I stopped feeling like one and it made me miserable. I internalized the idea that if I came out as trans I'd be hurting people and letting my community down.

This kind of thinking was reinforced by other detrans women who believed very strongly in the "social contagion" theory. I got extra pressure to stay detrans and talk about my experiences certain ways because of my standing in the community and which detrans women I was close to.

If detransition works so well for people why all this anxiety about people retransitioning? Why are some detrans women working hard to make others in the community "stay on course"? If it makes people happier why does it take so much work and social reinforcement?

There are definitely people who are genuinely happier after detransitioning but much of the detrans community thinks every trans person can be successfully detransition and that's just bullshit. There shouldn't be any pressure to stay detransitioned when it's not helping.

Encouraging someone to stay detransitioned when it's not actually helping them is encouraging self-harm. Using an ideology to justify it is just brainwashing people into thinking that destroying themselves is noble and helpful.

Nothing good comes from convincing trans people to deny who we are. We're not a social disease and teaching us to see ourselves that way is beyond cruel. We don't need any more messages that society would be better off without us.

I wasn't helping anyone by denying that I was trans. I wasn't being a good role model "living as a strong woman", I was hurting myself. I was trying to be what I was taught I should be instead of what I am. That's not something worth encouraging.

I hope all the trans people who got sucked into the ideological detrans community get out of there. You're not letting anyone down by doing what you need to do to be happy. You're not being a bad feminist or betraying women or whatever. You're just living your life as you are.