Based on my biopic actor choice and a request by @bethicillin I bring you...

Miranda Hart as the Casualty Officer

Day one on the shop floor. Five minutes ago Miranda was an F1 following seniors on the ward round, now she’s meant to make an independent plan...

She’s picked up her first Cas Card and is off to see her first patient. COUGHING DORIS HERE I, THE EMERGENCY PHYSICIAN, COME TO YOUR RESCUE!

She’s half way through a history and has switched to OSCE auto-pilot. How many stairs? How many pillows? When did you last travel somewhere exotic? ANY PARROTS?!

So what’s she going to do? Obviously give some co-amoxiclav and refer to the medics...

“You’ve given fluids AND furosemide?!” barks the med reg.

... awkward.

“Well what’s their fluid status?!”

“... uh...”

She strolls past her consultant doing a board round - “Well I hope nobody sent a d-dimer on this woman with a chest infection!”

A patient begins to kick off shouting and swearing at the start. Miranda steps forward and asks him to leave — and he does!

Am I police now? Am I tough?!

The evening consultant arrives. “Miranda I hear you’re interested in EM - fancy pulling this Colles with me?”

Her consultant is on Twitter so she tries to bond with them over some shared trauma...

She gets that distal radius back into place and the ortho SHO says “yeah maybe we won’t need to operate we’ll see what they say at trauma meeting”. That’s code for bloody good reduction obviously.

One of the divisional directors makes an appearance and cracks a joke. Quick, we need them on board for that new ambulatory pathway.

The tannoy goes off to announce a new patient in resus and they need a doctor urgently! To the rescue once again.

Hang on - RESUS?!?!

Soon enough her day is over and she passes out the second she gets home. Welcome to the Cas Lyf Miranda... you won’t see society for four months...