Why do I feel like I need to prevent myself from establishing boundaries to accommodate other people's needs

I want to say something as simple as, "When discussing similar experiences with me, I will not take it well if the conversation leans toward discussing How Bad it is for either of us" but then I feel like I'm angry at autistic people for Something They Can't Control

But like, it feels like I have to justify why it's hard for me when people come in with Worse problems with the same thing. Just, idk, please leave out How Bad it is for you when trying to relate to me?

This is something I cannot control.

I try really hard to avoid losing my temper, but when I'm having a hard time it can be easy to push my buttons sometimes.

Stuff like this or Correcting me on something I didn't say are triggers for me. I get defensive and lose my cool.

And I wouldn't be saying this if either of them happened only once. These are things that have happened enough times for me to start getting upset about it and I need to put this out there, because it's killing my mental health feeling like I'm competing with others.

Please understand, I am very good at not acting on my fight impulse. I try hard not to lash out. But I cannot do it entirely and I'm only putting this out here right now because if I don't I'm going to end up mad at someone because I didn't communicate my feelings on this.

This is not a subtweet or anything. It's not about a person.

I just want to communicate this because I don't want people to be surprised if I don't take it well.

Like, this thread exists specifically so I *don't* get upset and mad at people for things that realistically are very silly. It's not a sign that I am mad.