Me logging into work later knowing full well I told two dusty ass cunts that they& #39;re either gonna be polite and not scream at me or I& #39;ll end the call. Which I don& #39;t normally do but I literally am not paid enough for that bullshit I& #39;m the first place even more so now.
Like literally don& #39;t call if you don& #39;t want my help. Don& #39;t call tech support and demand we do operator services job because you don& #39;t want to pay os to do their job. Like I hate to tell you, if your phone ain& #39;t broke or your account ain& #39;t busted then not my department.
I literally should& #39;ve taken more time off to grieve but I& #39;m too fucking anxious to do that. So it& #39;s this fucking draining cycle of not having time to do anything and bottling everything up BEFORE hearing the news to now I gotta process a death AND my brewing depression breakdown
It& #39;s this fucking vicious cycle where I work 40+ hour weeks and feel guilty and unhappy doing anything remotely for myself because I feel it& #39;s a waste of my time. Couple that shit with other bullshit trauma shit I was already grappling wit???
Then I hear one of the most important men in my life, my uncle david, fucking passed before he could see me and Hali get married. Before I could proudly show him the man I& #39;ve become? Before I got a chance to hug him tight and tell him again how much he helped me???
Him and his fucking partner of 40+ years showed me the most loving, healthy wonderful marriage I& #39;ve EVER seen. I grew up in such a toxic, shitty hell hole and him and my uncle Jeff roll out the fucking support and love train? Bend over backwards and help me and my mom out of love
My Uncle David was such an amazing man, the best fucking man I could& #39;ve ever had in my life to show me it& #39;s OK to not be "normal" that I can be queer and explore. He was so fucking happy and proud of me for starting my transition. So fucking excited to meet Hali.
Him and my Uncle Jeff did nothing but adore me, support me, and help me and my mom in any way they could. My uncle david used to tell my mom she had me for him because him and Jeff couldn& #39;t have kids. They literally were just such a positive couple on my life.
I& #39;m so fucking broken down and destroyed. I don& #39;t know what I& #39;m gonna do now without him in my life. How I& #39;m gonna function knowing that I can& #39;t just call him if I need him. It& #39;s like someone tore my legs off and told me to walk.
Just I& #39;m not fucking OK, and I don& #39;t think I& #39;ll be OK for a while. And idk how the fuck I& #39;m gonna just show up to work, be fucking screamed at amd talked down to while I& #39;m falling apart and breaking the fuck down.
I just can& #39;t fucking handle being the overly patient and polite worker I normally am when it already takes all of me to not go fucking ape shit then add in this??? Add in the fucking pyramid that breaks the whole ass camel??? I& #39;m just a fucking wreck.
I swear to sweet fuck if these old people don& #39;t chill the fuck out I& #39;m gonna get real fucking tired of being too nice and go fucking ape.
I can& #39;t fucking sleep, eating fucking sucks, my stomach issues are acting up so bad its disgusting I just fucking can& #39;t fucking do this I& #39;m fucking miserable and I want this shit to just stop. I want one fucking week where something doesn& #39;t destroy my whole fucking world
I just fucking want to feel OK for just one fucking day before something happens
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