Men and women love smart people. But being smart doesn’t mean you understand compromise. It doesn’t mean you understand when to be agreeable. And smartness is intoxicating, makes you feel you’re always more likely to be right in every situation.

As an adult, I don’t try to strike intelligent conversations everywhere. Most conversations are light and normal. I have realised even as a teenager that people love intelligence mostly from afar. There are many things that smart people do that are really triggering.

Some people run away from very smart people because many smart people have this idea that by letting things slide, they’re accepting bare minimum or betraying themselves. Without realizing it, they can be unnecessarily condescending, classist or disagreeable.

If you meet 10 people, there is a very high chance that 7 out of them are decently on the average tail of the intellectual bell curve. “Smart” is relative and there are levels to these things. The problem is usually that most smart people think they’re A-level smart.

Some learn to open up to criticisms which is wisdom, others try to find doormats to massage their egos. To condemn the latter is not as straightforward. Would you rather be the oppressed or the oppressor, the intimidating or the intimidated? Some people simply can’t take it.

I have learned that in choosing a partner, what matters more is our ability to be comfortable sounding foolish from time to time. Knowing how to compartmentalise our issues and not let our disagreement on an issue overlap other issues. Wisdom over blind use of intellect.