"You can't use ADHD as an excuse just because you've suddenly been diagnosed with it."

It's not an excuse. After literal decades, I finally have the vocabulary and understanding of my behavior needed to identify it so I can learn how to work with my brain instead of against it.

I'm just still figuring out that last part, so in the meantime it /feels/ like I'm just pointing at fires going "fire!" instead of making the fires work for me...

... or something.

fun fact: this was me arguing with my internalized ableism last night

I see arttwt has found this

I think one of the other reasons this is such an internal conflict and endless source of frustration for me is because I realize a lot of the behaviors I used to get mocked or criticized or scolded or even in trouble for are ADHD things.

ex.: I was reprimanded a lot for "selective hearing" as if it was a choice.

Which I knew was not the case, but I didn't have a "proper defense" for it.

Now I know I have auditory attention difficulties, and if I'd known that /then/, maybe I wouldn't have been scolded so much.

Not that anyone should /need/ a diagnosis to be given the benefit of the doubt, but having the words for it/understanding would've at least made me feel better. And in my case, I do think it would've made these people more patient. I'd like to believe it at least.