1) The Fable of the Stupidest Sheep

The wolves had draped themselves with gory tattered sheepskins ripped fresh from the carcasses of their latest victims. They knew that that their sheep’s clothes would not fool the sheepdogs, nor most of the sheep.

But they had a plan.

2) They found the stupidest sheep and convinced them that the reek of death and dripping blood was simply a sign that they were better than better than other sheep.

“We are the alpha sheep,” said the Controlling Wolf, “and we need you sheepdogs to protect us from the wolves.”

3) “Are we sheepdogs?” asked a stupid sheep nodding in the direction of the dogs, “Aren’t they the sheepdogs?”

“That’s what they want you to think,” said the Greedy Wolf, “but those are actually the real wolves. They say that they want to protect you, but....”

4) “They are anarchists, commies, feminists, unionists!”, the Violent Wolf yelled, “They will destroy the flock!”

The bloodshot eyes and foam-flecked jaws of the Violent Wolf impressed the stupid sheep. They were in the presence of a sheep of noble bearing and natural authority.

5) “Anyway,” said the Controlling Wolf, “Deep down you know that you are no ordinary sheep. You are superior, both physically and mentally. That means you have a duty: you must protect the sheep from the wolves.”

“And from themselves,” interjected the Greedy Sheep eagerly.

6) “Yes, if any of the sheep should try to join with the, ummm wolves you must bring them to us,” Controlling Wolf almost giggled in self-amusement. "These bad sheep will try to take" his eyes darted trying to find anything nearby worth taking, "the dandelions!"

7) The stupid sheep were duly distraught, though none had ever given much thought to dandelion distribution previously. Suddenly they felt deep and heartfelt affront at any who would dare seek to appropriate their God-given dandelions.

8) “Bring them to us!” said the Greedy Wolf in jittery excitement, “Bring those bad sheep to us and we will deal with them!” His massive pink tongue caressed his razor-teeth as drool oozed down the sides of his long jaw.

9) “Your motto,” said the Controlling Wolf, “is ‘To Protect and Serve’. It means that you serve us and that will protect the flock. Here are your guns and badges. Now get out there and do some good.”

“And good hunting”, snapped the Violent Wolf, with a manic gleam in his eye.