Story time!

I'm watching the Nationals play in LA this afternoon, and the Dodgers sold ad space on their pitching mound to a company called "Everly." They have a wordmark with three fonts in it and a motto that isn't readable, and finding out what they even do was a ~journey~ 1/

If you google "Everly," the first page of results contains:

* A "classy, casual" restaurant in Madison, WI ("bacon-serving and vegetarian-friendly")
* A 2014 movie starring Salma Hayek as a former yakuza slave turned assassin; it got 21% on Rotten Tomatoes 2/

* A clothing company making garish, Lily Pulitzer-esque sundresses; they're in LA but haven't updated their website since 2016
* A drink powder company that's basically bougie Crystal Light ("your new hydration sensation")
* A covid testing company that's uh, a different scam 3/

None of them have the offending wordmark though. Nothing in the first 4-5 pages of google results does. That's... uh, okay. Then I notice they also have an ad placed on the wall beyond the first few rows of seats; the motto is legible. "Made for living." Let's search that? 4/

Paydirt. https://uspto.report/TM/90508079 

Everly, LLC of Tennessee is the owner. Some advanced level Twitter searching then turns up... @EverlyLife.

As of right now, they aren't verified, they have 9 followers (including me), and have two tweets, ever. From yesterday afternoon. 5/

So that's weird, right -- who sells life insurance but also doesn't have ANY marketing campaign around it, except for... buying the pitching mound at Dodger Stadium.

Obviously we're gonna keep digging. First, their website. It's... not good. /6

It seems like life insurance but different I guess. I consciously don't know anything about the insurance industry but it doesn't sound like engaging copy. You can't log in to the site yet (but you can sign in to a holistic Everly Wellness program?)

Also, lol jQuery. 7/

Look, I've worked at many a startup with sketchy leadership. This just *feels* like there's a terrible CEO or COO who put immense and variable demands on their dev and creative employees, who all just up and quit two weeks before launch. Been there. 8/

Except.. it's actually even dumber.

The "About Us" page says they're bundling policies from "Security Benefit" which is an industry leader with 129 years of experience, and a landing page that includes an entire subsection on their corporate brand. 9/

Both Everly and Security Benefit are run by "Eldridge," another unfortunately google-resistant company. I'll save you the story here, but their website landing copy is... certainly a choice. Who are they? 10/

Well, here's Eldridge's co-founder, chairman, and CEO. One of the owners of... the Los Angeles Dodgers. 11/

So yeah. The Dodgers are getting paid for an on-field sponsorship by a company that only barely exists, which is re-marketing insurance from another company, except they're not marketing anything to anyone, and one guy owns everything.

Capitalism's doing terrific. 12/12

here's my soundcloud https://twitter.com/FODartLeague/status/1380358007167582214