Y’all don’t need a play by play of my dating life and I won’t usually say TOO much, but I’ve been using this as my platform to be genuinely myself as I learn to BE genuinely myself, and I’ve nattered on about some of this already. So this is a CW if you’re not interested.
/1

Dude has a genuinely (temporarily) messy life right now. He even admitted that he didn’t want to wait until he wasn’t messy, he’d missed out on life before, and I get that. If you wait until everything’s perfect, it never will be. /2

That being said, I’m not here to fix/change anyone. If I don’t fit in with his mess or post-mess life, I’m not for everyone, and that’s fine. But for what it’s worth coming from a hopeless romantic, I have a good feeling with this one, I’m willing to /3

“Tolerate a world of demons for sake of an angel,” to quote Doctor Who.

I’m self conscious about my anxiety causing me to seem clingy (ew) and my neurodivergent tendency to be very very blunt about what I want/need and it’s scared people off before. Again, not for everyone /4

But dude’s gotten distant and that annoys the snot out of me, fair or not. I don’t want to contribute to his mess. He’s busy.

But we WILL need to talk about my cluelessness with dating and desire to date one person at a time. And I don’t think he’s an online chatter much, /5

And phone/RL visits are part of the mess (at risk housemates, though we’ve gone out twice) and why is this thread so long? Ugh. Sorry.

So I audio messaged him, told him I missed connecting with him and would hate to think /6

I’d missed the chance to see where this could go before we had a had a chance to see where it could go.

I got a touch weepy, you can hear a smidge in my voice at the end https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤬" title="Gesicht mit Symbolen über dem Mund" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Symbolen über dem Mund">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤬" title="Gesicht mit Symbolen über dem Mund" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Symbolen über dem Mund">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤬" title="Gesicht mit Symbolen über dem Mund" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Symbolen über dem Mund"> Any emotion, I cry. Always. Damn it. Not for everyone /7

Last one, I promise.

If that doesn’t prompt conversation, then, https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤷🏻‍♀️" title="Achselzuckende Frau (heller Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Achselzuckende Frau (heller Hautton)"> we’ll be FB friends. I’m not chasing his ass.

I guess it’s time to drink more coffee and shit or get off the pot. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤷🏻‍♀️" title="Achselzuckende Frau (heller Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Achselzuckende Frau (heller Hautton)"> https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen">

Thanks for reading. I needed to see most of it all in front of me. I love y’all.

/fin