the solution is simple: we must invade canada.
"The Dry Burger War" has a nice ring to it.
"sir, poutine reservoir three clicks to the north, mounties coming in from the northeast, please advise"
"we have toronto in our sights, targeting areas around the ketchup storage facilities..."
"nova scotia is secure commander, ready for SEAL deployment"
"My fellow Americans, on my orders, some 6 hours ago, Operation Condiment Freedom was launched. We face a ketchup shortage and we were forced to liberate Canada's supply of this vital resource."
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