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I& #39;m going to say this here because I sick of people getting all smug about #COVID #lockdowns and restrictions, notably after @enswelljones decided to compare it to the marshmallow test. This will be a thread
55 Days. That& #39;s how long I stayed in my house from March-May 2020.
55.
55 Days. That& #39;s how long I stayed in my house from March-May 2020.
55.
It was difficult to not see family and friends, and it was made slightly easier by the fact I wasn& #39;t alone. But for 55 days I did not see or touch my significant other. 55 long days. I cried every night. I felt so alone and scared and lonely. It felt like we had broken up.
I found myself having anxiety attacks over whether or not I& #39;d ever see him again. Direct Messaging elected officials to ask if there was a way I could break lockdown and see him. Thinking of excuses to get around potential barricades. Something.
But I did it. For the "common good" or whatever. I went without him for 55 days. I still have nightmares where I wake up and he& #39;s disappeared. I wake up gasping for air. I& #39;m in therapy where I regularly cry about it. I panic if he doesn& #39;t answer a text in 10 minutes.
This is now how I was before. I cry every time I leave him after I see him, because I& #39;m afraid another global calamity will force us apart again. I don& #39;t know how long it will be before I can move beyond this. Maybe the end of the #pandemic will help.
But these anxieties led to problems. It& #39;s led to some friction in the relationship. I& #39;m afraid of coming across to clingy or needy, which he& #39;s dropped hints that I definitely am. We& #39;ve talked about it, but even talking scares me.
For months, I flailed at my job, unable to focus and get work done (though I think I& #39;m passed that now). I overeat, and put on nearly 30 pounds. I am irritable, I can& #39;t sleep through the night, my bowel movements are erratic. Sometimes I forget to shower.
And this isn& #39;t a "poor me:" thread, because we& #39;ve all be psychologically damaged by this. I tell this story because I know I& #39;m not the only one. Maybe you recognise yourself.
I say all this because of people like @EnswellJones who trivialise this by comparing it to marshmallows.
I say all this because of people like @EnswellJones who trivialise this by comparing it to marshmallows.
They think this is about bars or restaurants or parties or something trivial, and its about basic human needs, our need to love, share, connect.
Maybe they don& #39;t care because they have everyone they need in their presence, or maybe they& #39;re introverts and unable to love.
Maybe they don& #39;t care because they have everyone they need in their presence, or maybe they& #39;re introverts and unable to love.
My significant other is not a fucking marshmallow. He& #39;s not a sweet reward. He is the fuel that keeps my engine going, the air that keeps my blades turning. You get the idea.
That& #39;s what I sacrificed for 55 days. But others also sacrificed. Most of us did.
That& #39;s what I sacrificed for 55 days. But others also sacrificed. Most of us did.
The marshmallow test lasts for 15 minutes. When the 15 minutes are up, the kids got a marshmallow.
This isn& #39;t the marshmallow test. Ask those kids what they& #39;d do if they could see their friends now or wait an indefinite amount of time until "the virus" tells them its ok to do it
This isn& #39;t the marshmallow test. Ask those kids what they& #39;d do if they could see their friends now or wait an indefinite amount of time until "the virus" tells them its ok to do it
That kind of test would almost certainly lead to everyone failing. No one would agree to delay gratification indefinitely when it is out of their control. No one.
Because you want to chalk up #COVID mitigation failures to a morality play where people only died because we can& #39;t wait a few minutes for a marshmallow, when the truth is far more complex and nuanced than that. We gave up something far more important than marshmallows.
Human beings are not going to delay gratification indefinitely especially if that delays is dependent on how other people perform. They aren& #39;t going to submit to something outside their control. It& #39;s toxic. It pits human beings against each other. It incentivises bad actors.
This is what we experienced in Catholic School, when teachers would give everyone detention because one kid acted badly, and added more time to detention if he didn& #39;t stop acting badly. Guess what happened? He never stopped, because HE was in control and he knew it.
As long as he didn& #39;t comply, he was in control of the rest of us. He didn& #39;t care how much we hated him, he thrived on that. He had no reason to comply. It was the rest of us who broke. Expecting everyone to adhere to rules with perfect unison is stupid, ineffective, unrealistic.
Moreover, it punishes the people who did follow the rules, and takes away any incentive for them to follow them in the future. 55 days, and psychological trauma that is going to take expensive and extensive therapy to work through. Half million still died. What more do you want?
I have no control over everyone else, only myself, which was the entire point of the stupid marshmallow test anyway. I did my duty to society and expecting me to continue to keep doing it beyond the "15 minutes" asked of me, and say its because everyone else "failed?" Nope.
My grandmother used to say "if you give people an inch, they will take a mile." She and my grandfather taught me to be sceptical of authority, especially when they try to sell me on adhering to their wishes for "good reasons." I gave public health an inch, now they want a mile.
