had a rough “dad dream” overnight, and woke up to news of two Dad’s passing. (Phillip and DMX). I’m having all kinds of complicated feels.
1/

a parent is hard. Losing a parent in the spotlight is...weird. You know this person as Dad. If you’re lucky (I was), they pass and you have no major what if’s, regrets, or questions about how much you mattered. 2/

On top of wrestling with that, you have to deal with the public side, and the fact that others have different experiences with your parent. You don’t get to just mourn. You have to consider any public statement you make along the way. 3/

You share pieces of your parent with others and it’s so very, very weird. It’s a unique club, and once you navigate it...you always feel a different level of sympathy for other kids of spotlight parents. 4/

Your Dad, who was terrible at playing catch, burned cookies, and once lost his keys in the silverware drawer...that Dad is someone else’s professional idol and role model. I’m lucky that my Dad was the same for the people who looked up to him as he was for his kids. 5/

It’s still just so weird. Because...that’s your dad. For other people your Dad is Dr. Dennis Showalter PhD, or Prince Phillip, or DMX. For you, they’re just Dad. And there’s so much wrapped into that. 6/

I hope that their kids got the chance I got. I hope the last words shared were, “I love you.” I hope those words were reciprocated. I hope there’s no major regrets. I hope there’s peace. 7/

hope they know they were loved. No questions. 8/end