The Yu Ziyuan meta thread

Yu Ziyuan is fundamentally misunderstood
Ykw, she actually reminds me a little of my own mother
Here’s my attempt at a balanced analysis through a cultural lens

Some warnings/notes before we begin:

This thread is a companion to the Jiang Cheng meta thread
I’ll be referencing mainly novel canon

Again, like the Jiang Cheng thread, if this is your first foray into cultural meta, you may find some of my personal opinions very jarring
This thread will be extremely long
This thread will not be spoiler-free

I spend some time in this thread analyzing if Yu Ziyuan’s treatment of Wei Wuxian can possibly be read as abuse. At the start of each tweet that includes this, I will include a CW so you can skip it if you need

Ok so despite only appearing in four chapters of the novel, Yu Ziyuan is one of the most polarizing characters in the MDZS cast.

Though I’ve read many diverse takes on her characterization, I haven’t seen too many interpretations out there that are similar to my own.

So, here’s what I think!

So far, I’ve seen Yu Ziyuan described as

Cold towards Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli
Cruel towards Wei Wuxian
Jealous and undeserving of her husband’s regard
Unrefined and ungracious

If we strip Yu Ziyuan’s arc completely of its cultural context and situational relevance, it’s understandable that we would arrive at these conclusions.

However, instead of painting her as an antagonist from the outset, we would do well to consider her actions relative to:

The time period in Chinese history
Her rank and standing, both in society and in the Jiang household

The corresponding cultural expectations placed on her in terms of family and duty

Let’s begin by looking at Yu Ziyuan’s backstory.

According to the novel, she was the third daughter of the Meishan Yu 眉山虞 clan.

After marrying Jiang Fengmian, she was referred to as 虞夫人 (Madam Yu), instead of 江夫人(Madam Jiang).

She lived in separate quarters from her husband and employed a group of loyal staff who had journeyed with her from her natal clan.

If we’re going by traditional marriage standards in ancient China, all these concessions pointed toward a highly unusual arrangement.

Though women usually kept their own family names after marriage, they tended to use their husbands’ names as a relational term of address.

(I’ll add a short footnote to explain this at the end of the thread)

Also, after marriage, it was customary for women to renounce most obligations to their natal families, with the exception of select filial duties (e.g. funeral rites for their own parents).

This was because they would be seen as “belonging” to their new families after marriage.

Yu Ziyuan’s actions ran contrary to tradition.

After marriage, she brought her bodyguards, servants, and spiritual weapon (Zidian) from her natal home to Jiang Fengmian’s household.

She even retained her maiden nickname, 虞三娘 (Third Lady Yu).

On top of all of this, in a highly unorthodox move given the patriarchal climate of ancient China, she went ahead to make arrangements for her daughter’s marriage without first bothering to consult her husband.

There are some possible conclusions that we can draw from this. Note that these are my personal speculations:

At the time of the marriage, Meishan Yu was in a much stronger position than Yunmeng Jiang, with a greater degree of influence and bargaining power.

That was likely why it was so difficult for Jiang Fengmian to repeatedly refuse the marriage proposal, and also why Yu Ziyuan managed to get so many concessions in the Jiang home.

It explains Yu Ziyuan’s preoccupation with social status, as evident in the scene where she condescendingly tells Wang Lingjiao, “I’ve never heard of your Yingchuan Wang clan” or something to that effect.

Meishan Yu had a stronger emphasis on family and tradition compared to Yunmeng Jiang. This was likely why Yu Ziyuan held fast to her own maiden nickname and personal staff.

It was also why she was so dedicated to ensuring that the Jiang sect would have a strong presence at its helm for the future (more on this shortly).

Yu Ziyuan had a formidable reputation in the jianghu, as evident from Wen Zhuliu’s immediate acknowledgement of her.

She occupied a high social standing, both because of her martial abilities and family background, and was used to commanding a certain degree of respect.

Unlike the other married women of her generation, such as Madam Jin, who was helpless to control her husband’s philandering, and Madam Lan, who was made a prisoner on her own wedding day, Yu Ziyuan radiated agency, power, and strength.

Her lineage, which embodied the values and customs of her birth clan, stood firmly at the forefront of her identity and pride.

So, what’s central to Yu Ziyuan’s motivation, and what drives her actions?

Two things - dynastic identity, and familial duty.

Now, with this in mind, let’s look at the criticisms leveled at her, one by one.

1. Coldness towards Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli

To explain this in full, let’s revisit the scene in which Yu Ziyuan had a meal with her family before Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng were to depart for Qishan.

In this scene, Yu Ziyuan criticized Jiang Cheng for not being able to surpass Wei Wuxian:

“你是个傻的，我早告诉你了，你这辈子都是比不过你旁边坐着的那个了。修为比不过夜猎比不过，连射个风筝都比不过！没法子，谁让你的娘不如别人的娘？比不过就是比不过。+

+ 你娘为你不平，跟你说了多少次别跟他鬼混，你还帮他说话。我怎么生出你这种儿子的!”

“You’re foolish. I’ve told you before - in this lifetime, you’ll never surpass the one sitting next to you. Cultivation, night-hunting, even shooting down a kite! +

+ There’s nothing more you can do; I guess it’s because your mother isn’t as great as (his) mother! If you can’t surpass him, that’s just the way it is. +

+ I’ve tried to help you by telling you not to associate too much with him, but you’re still sticking up for him anyway. How did I ever give birth to a son like you!” (Translation by me)

If we remember that dynastic pride and familial duty were both important concepts to Yu Ziyuan, then we can see why she said this.

As the wife of Jiang Fengmian and the mother of his heir, Yu Ziyuan considered herself responsible for the future and continuity of the Jiang clan.

But just how important was it to her, that she would risk hurting her son over it?

Imagine a possible future scenario through Yu Ziyuan’s eyes, in which Jiang Cheng rises to the position of clan leader with Wei Wuxian at his side. Wei Wuxian continues to overshadow Jiang Cheng in all aspects of his life.

As a major clan leader, Jiang Cheng’s individual weaknesses do not go unnoticed. As a result, Jiang Cheng comes under heavy scrutiny, with many pairs of hungry and opportunistic eyes watching and awaiting his downfall.

Attempts are made in public to undermine and isolate him, or to sow discord between him and Wei Wuxian. As a result, Yunmeng Jiang’s position in multiple areas (diplomacy, economics, martial power, etc.) is severely compromised.

We have a saying 狐假虎威 (“the fox intimidates by borrowing the tiger’s power”).

Jiang Cheng would have been seen as a weak fraud, riding on Wei Wuxian’s superior reputation to make a name for himself.

And of course, Yu Ziyuan saw this as a frightening possibility. Having grown up in an illustrious clan herself, she understood the bloody, cutthroat nature of the cultivation world.

The only way to secure a future and ensure a seat at the table was to never let one’s guard down, and to continually demonstrate dominance and strength.

She wanted Jiang Cheng to be able to stand on his own, on his own terms, and for his own sake. This was why she was deliberately hard on him.

It didn’t matter if Jiang Cheng would eventually come to resent her, as long as she could make him realize that he desperately needed to improve.

As I’ve mentioned in the Jiang Cheng meta thread, this is a common refrain in Chinese parenting - the attitude of “I don’t care if you hate me, as long as you learn your lesson and come out better”.

Don‘t forget - at the time this conversation took place in the story, Qishan Wen already had its iron grip on the rest of the clans.

Like all other cultivators involved in the tumult, Yu Ziyuan had a close eye on the political landscape.

Objectively speaking, Yunmeng Jiang was the least imposing of the four major clans under Qishan Wen’s oppression.

Even together, Jiang Fengmian and Jiang Cheng lacked the steel of Qinghe Nie, the savviness of Lanling Jin, and the schooling of Gusu Lan.

It would only have taken one mistake, one display of weakness, for Yunmeng Jiang to be at the mercy of Wen Ruohan and his armies.

This was also precisely why Yu Ziyuan seized the first available opportunity to assert her dominance, by beating Wang Lingjiao to the ground.

And Yu Ziyuan wasn’t the only person with this attitude.

If you look closely at the story, Lan Qiren was also thinking along similar lines. He too worked hard to raise his nephews to be among the top cultivators in their generation, so that everyone would regard Gusu Lan as a force to be reckoned with.

Lan Qiren was a strict parental figure, much like Yu Ziyuan, but as we know, he seldom had to resort to scolding. Unfortunately for Jiang Cheng, the Twin Jades had more favorable circumstances.

They were not overshadowed by any of their fellow disciples. Lan Qiren’s efforts clearly paid off. During the Sunshot Campaign, many people looked to the Lan brothers for leadership and support.

Back to Yu Ziyuan. On a more personal note, she perceived Jiang Cheng’s relative mediocrity to be a blight on her parenting and her effectiveness as a mother.

If we consider that Yu Ziyuan had a lot of pride in her own lineage, it was tremendously embarrassing for her to have her own son be repeatedly surpassed by his own right-hand man.

What would that have said about her as a famous cultivator descended from a prominent line?

And in terms of duty, what would it have said about her as a mother, if she didn’t at least try to make him aware of his shortcomings?

I’ve talked about parental love in the Jiang Cheng thread, and it’s a good time to revisit it again.

Let’s make this clear - Yu Ziyuan loved Jiang Cheng, very dearly.

He was her only son; her pride and heir. Therefore, it made sense that she wanted him to be the best: the best version of himself, and an outstanding person in the eyes of the cultivation jianghu.

What about Jiang Yanli?

In the same scene, we see Yu Ziyuan admonishing her daughter for peeling lotus seeds for Wei Wuxian.

“阿离，别剥了，你剥给谁吃？你是主人，不是别人的家仆！”

“A-Li, stop peeling! Who are you peeling those seeds for? You’re a master. You’re not somebody’s servant!” (Translation by me)

I’ve seen a lot of people perceiving this moment to be Yu Ziyuan taking the opportunity to hurl a sneaky insult at Wei Wuxian’s status as a subordinate, but really, it wasn’t about that at all.

Again, it was about making sure her children were always conscious of the status they occupied in both the Jiang household and in martial society.

Let’s go back to what was important to Yu Ziyuan: strength and tradition.

Jiang Yanli was the eldest child of the Jiang clan. By virtue of her birth, she occupied a position that carried a significant amount of weight and prestige.

Had Jiang Yanli been seen peeling lotus seeds for someone below her station, it would have caused a tremendous loss of confidence in the power of the Jiang clan.

What Jiang Yanli was doing was an outright act of subservience. It was so abhorrent to Yu Ziyuan, precisely because of everything it represented.

And on parental love again - which mother wants to see her own daughter in a position like that? Yu Ziyuan didn’t want Jiang Yanli to go through the rest of her life being at someone else’s beck and call.

She wanted Jiang Yanli to be forceful and dominant, to be the one giving orders instead of taking them, and to embody the aristocratic traits prized by both Meishan Yu and Yunmeng Jiang.

She loved Jiang Yanli and wanted her to lead a respected, comfortable life.

That was why she pushed Jiang Yanli to have more confidence in her own position, and to assert herself as the daughter of a major clan leader.

Whatever Jiang Yanli lacked in cultivation, Yu Ziyuan wanted her to make up for it in demeanor and bearing.

And that was also a possible reason why she made an early arrangement for Jiang Yanli to marry into the Jin clan.

Without a strong level of cultivation, Jiang Yanli was vulnerable. In a worst-case scenario, an opportunistic party could easily employ her as a pawn against the Jiang clan.

Yu Ziyuan was wary of making a bad match, which might have put Jiang Yanli and the Jiang clan in such an unfavorable position.

She chose the Jin clan because she knew they would be able to shelter her daughter appropriately. They were wealthy and powerful. Besides, Yu Ziyuan had known Madam Jin for a long time, and she trusted her deeply.

Yu Ziyuan’s ambitions were underpinned by love - maternal love towards Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli, and by extension, a deep devotion to her husband and to the continuity of his name.

Yu Ziyuan embodied many practices and beliefs that are prevalent in Chinese parenting. The coldness and harshness of her words were not intended to cause Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli to doubt her love, but to reinforce it.

If she had turned a blind eye to her children’s shortcomings and chosen to indulge them, she would have been doing them a great disservice as their mother.

And also, if she hadn’t loved them, she would not have bothered to scold them or point out their mistakes.

/ pausing here for a bit

Top of the thread if you’re tuning in now! https://twitter.com/wrecklwj/status/1380527202039554049

2. Cruel behavior towards Wei Wuxian

Right, let’s get this out of the way. Wei Wuxian was *not* a member of the Jiang family.

He had *never* been “adopted in”.

He only had a martial bond with Jiang Cheng, Jiang Yanli, and the other disciples.

Jiang Fengmian may have gone above and beyond in seeing to his care and paying for his expenses, but it was entirely in his capacity as a master to a favorite disciple, or an uncle to a beloved nephew.

Likewise, Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli may have regarded him as closely as they would have a blood sibling, but it didn’t change anything about his status as a disciple of the clan.

Where did that leave Yu Ziyuan?

Rightly speaking, she did not see herself as Wei Wuxian’s mother. And in a similar vein, he never once saw himself as her son.

If you consider how important lineage was to Yu Ziyuan, Wei Wuxian was far below her in status. He was not a member of her blood. They had a martial relationship with a master-disciple dynamic, and nothing more.

By the unspoken laws of the jianghu, and in the canon setting, Yu Ziyuan was not obligated to love Wei Wuxian and treat him like family.

To her, he was just a soldier and a subordinate, albeit a very talented one.

Understandably, she prioritized her own children over him.

Perhaps it’s an unpopular opinion, but in her capacity as his martial elder or shimu 师母 (note that this term doesn’t appear in canon), Yu Ziyuan was absolutely entitled to treat him in the way that she did.

Even if she had found no fault with his personality and behavior, and even if he had indeed been inferior to Jiang Cheng, she did not and could not love him in the same way that she loved her own children.

In addition, the free reign that Wei Wuxian was allowed in the Jiang residence was, by most wuxia and xianxia standards, an unusual privilege.

Had he been head disciple in any other clan, he would have been expected to share his meals and activities with the other disciples instead of with the main family. He was accorded many liberties that his fellow disciples simply did not have.

To Yu Ziyuan, this must have felt like disrespect; an unwelcome intrusion on the sacred circle of family. She was an elder and the lady of the house; yet her husband and children had not seen fit to consult her.

Instead, they allowed Wei Wuxian, an outsider, to sit in on important and private family discussions.

//CW: speculations on abuse

What about her physical punishment of Wei Wuxian? How does that factor in?

Yu Ziyuan oversaw the training of the Jiang disciples, including Wei Wuxian.

//CW: speculations on abuse

In wuxia terms, it meant that she was free to devise their training schedules and discipline them as appropriate.

//CW: speculations on abuse

In many wuxia stories, it was common for masters to use physical punishment as a means to keep disobedient or errant disciples in check.

And sometimes, this involved whipping or beating.

//CW: speculations on abuse

In whipping Wei Wuxian, Yu Ziyuan wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary.

Was Yu Ziyuan’s treatment of Wei Wuxian abusive? Perhaps. But was it within her rights to do so, as his martial elder? Absolutely.

//CW: speculations on abuse

I’ve read a fair amount of takes which argue that Yu Ziyuan ought to “realize the error of her ways” and apologize to Wei Wuxian for her actions.

//CW: speculations on abuse

But really, given the full cultural context and the norms of typical martial sect/clan dynamics, she doesn’t have anything to apologize to him for.

Despite these entitlements, I think it’s still fair to say that Yu Ziyuan had it out for Wei Wuxian to some degree.

Again, all her reasons revolve around the concept of dynastic identity, and her concern about Jiang Cheng’s future as a clan leader.

Yu Ziyuan knew that Wei Wuxian was objectively more outstanding than Jiang Cheng. Because of this, she saw Jiang Cheng’s reliance on him as a weakness.

Should Wei Wuxian betray Jiang Cheng or simply decide to stop serving him, he would be alone and weak.

Yu Ziyuan knew she couldn’t control what Wei Wuxian would do in the future, which was why she focused her efforts in getting Jiang Cheng to associate with him less.

This was so that Jiang Cheng would be able to develop his own identity and come into his strength on his own terms.

In true Chinese parenting fashion, Yu Ziyuan knew that Jiang Cheng would always suffer being unfavorably compared to Wei Wuxian if they continued hanging around with each other.

As his mother, she didn’t want him to be seen as inferior or lacking.

That was why she continually tried to separate them.

Yu Ziyuan perceived Wei Wuxian’s behavior - rule-breaking, sticking his neck out, getting into trouble - as a serious liability to the Jiang clan. Unlike her husband and children, she could not turn a blind eye to it.

She anticipated that Wei Wuxian’s actions would bring trouble to the Jiang clan at some point, which was why she tried her best to discipline him.

//CW: speculations on abuse

Now, let’s talk about the scene in which she whips Wei Wuxian in front of Wang Lingjiao and prepares to cut off his hand.

Wang Lingjiao’s sudden appearance in Lianhuawu heralded the start of a dangerous diplomatic incident, and as the head of the Jiang clan in Jiang Fengmian’s absence, Yu Ziyuan recognized that at once.

If she could have chosen to sacrifice someone from the clan to satisfy Wang Lingjiao and thus prevent further bloodshed, it could only have been Wei Wuxian.

He was the appropriate choice of scapegoat, seeing that he had been the one to injure Wang Lingjiao in the xuanwu cave and incite a mutiny against Wen Chao.

Also, politically speaking, his status as head disciple was high enough to make his punishment worthwhile for the Wens.

//CW: speculations on abuse

If Yu Ziyuan had instead chosen to punish any of the other disciples in his place, the Wens would have perceived it as insulting, and that their grievance was not accorded the gravity it deserved.

//CW: speculations on abuse

And if she had, against all reason, chosen to punish Jiang Cheng instead, it would have been seen as an overly deferential move, and it would have weakened Yunmeng Jiang’s position immeasurably.

Yu Ziyuan had to make a difficult choice. It was either punish Wei Wuxian harshly and hope that Wang Lingjiao would be satisfied and leave, or deliberately offend the Wens by refusing, and risk the lives of hundreds of Jiang disciples in the process.

And Wei Wuxian understood all this as well. That was why he never fought back when he was being whipped, despite his deep hatred of Wang Lingjiao.

That was why he pushed Jiang Cheng away and asked him to stay out of it.

That was why he so quickly came to terms with the possibility of losing his hand.

And finally, that was why he held fast to the promise to protect Jiang Cheng with his life.

He and Yu Ziyuan were on the same page. They were both putting the safety and future of the clan first.

//CW: speculations on abuse

And here’s the thing - despite her resentment of Wei Wuxian, Yu Ziyuan still held herself back.

//CW: speculations on abuse

Zidian was a top-tier spiritual weapon, and she could have rendered him completely senseless if she had chosen to unleash all her anger on him in that moment.

//CW: speculations on abuse

But she did not, because she rationally understood that the whipping itself was just a show to placate Wang Lingjiao.

//CW: speculations on abuse

When Wen Qing examined Wei Wuxian’s injuries shortly after the destruction of Lianhuawu, she remarked that Yu Ziyuan had not hit him as hard as he would have expected.

//CW: speculations on abuse

not hit him as hard as he would have expected. Yu Ziyuan knew that incapacitating Wei Wuxian completely would not have been a wise move.

She had been prepared for the eventuality of battle, and she needed Wei Wuxian to marshal the other disciples and assist in protecting Jiang Cheng.

//CW: speculations on abuse

And so, while I concede that Yu Ziyuan may have been unfairly harsh towards Wei Wuxian, I wouldn’t be so quick to classify her actions towards him as abusive +

//CW: speculations on abuse

+ given their master-disciple relationship, and her entitlements as the lady of the clan.

Again, this is a subjective view, but I’m fully prepared to admit that Yu Ziyuan wasn’t perfect in her role as a martial master.

//CW: speculations on abuse

For one, she was far too reliant on physical punishment, even after noticing that it had little to no effect on Wei Wuxian.

Also, instead of constantly trying to drive Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian apart, I definitely think that she could have done more to help them each learn and benefit from the other’s positive attributes.

3. Jealous and undeserving of her husband’s regard

I’ve noticed that a lot of people attribute Yu Ziyuan’s bitterness to jealousy of her husband’s long-dead friend, Cangse Sanren. But was it really jealousy talking, or something else entirely?

Let’s take a closer look at this argument. In the scene after Wei Wuxian wakes up from being rescued from the xuanwu cave, Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian have a heated discussion in front of him and Jiang Cheng.

Here’s what Yu Ziyuan said:

“江宗主，有些话我是不得不说了。你好好看清楚，这个，才是你的亲生儿子，莲花坞未来的主人。就算你因为他是我的生的就看不惯他，他还是姓江！我就不信你不知道外边那些人怎么传的，说江宗主这么多年了还对某某散人痴心不改视故人之子为亲子，都猜测魏婴是不是就是你的……”

“Clan leader Jiang, there are some things I must say. Look closely - this is your son, the future master of Lianhuawu. Even if you dislike him because I was the one who gave birth to him, his surname is still Jiang! +

+ I don’t believe you don’t know what people outside are saying about you - that your feelings towards a certain Sanren haven’t changed after so many years, and that you regard her son as your own. +

They’re even speculating that Wei Ying may be your…” (translation by me)

What was really going on here?

Again, going back to dynastic identity as central to Yu Ziyuan, there’s a lot of subtext to this chunk of dialogue.

Yu Ziyuan was very worried that Jiang Fengmian wasn’t placing Jiang Cheng in high enough regard compared to Wei Wuxian. That was why she loudly reminded Jiang Fengmian about Jiang Cheng’s importance.

When she brought up Cangse Sanren, she wasn’t doing it out of spite or jealousy, but out of concern for the public perception of Jiang Cheng as the heir-in-waiting.

It’s true that Jiang Fengmian appeared to publicly favor Wei Wuxian.

He was also content to let the rumors stand about his longing for Cangse Sanren, and about Wei Wuxian being his bastard son.

I’d argue that it didn’t really matter to Yu Ziyuan if these things were true or not.

Either way, Jiang Fengmian’s indifference to the rumors would have left the door open for Jiang Cheng’s future as a clan leader to be severely undermined and questioned.

The rumors would have followed Jiang Cheng well into adulthood, and further served to highlight his weaknesses and the differences between him and Wei Wuxian.

Yu Ziyuan feared that people would believe the rumors.

Not because she was jealous, but because in doing so, they would note Wei Wuxian’s strength and superiority.

They would whisper that he would make a better leader than Jiang Cheng, since he was supposedly descended from Jiang Fengmian anyway.

These sentiments would negatively impact the reputation and standing of the Jiang clan.

Without his father’s wholehearted public support and endorsement, Jiang Cheng would be doomed for failure.

And as Jiang Cheng’s mother, she could not allow that to happen.

Did that mean Yu Ziyuan didn’t love Jiang Fengmian?

No, she definitely did!

But it was the quiet kind of love, the kind that runs below the surface and that is expressed mostly in subtle gestures, rather than overt displays of affection.

In other words, it was a very Chinese way of showing love.

Yu Ziyuan may not have been entirely happy with her marriage, as evident from her distant behavior towards Jiang Fengmian and their constant squabbling. However, that didn’t mean that she never loved him or considered the Jiang family important.

Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian appeared to have had a political marriage, as customary given the historical climate. In such matches, romantic love was seldom the underpinning factor behind unions. Yet, she still came to be devoted to him.

Like many other Chinese people in arranged marriages, Yu Ziyuan regarded her own love for Jiang Fengmian as secondary to other responsibilities in her life.

These included jianghu happenings, inheritance matters, and day-to-day activities like managing their household and training the disciples.

It can be argued that Yu Ziyuan embodied the Confucian ideal of a dutiful wife.

She was fiercely dedicated to raising their children under the Jiang name.

She loyally defended Jiang Fengmian’s home and seat for him in his absence, and never once considered turning her back on it to save herself when it came under attack.

And in the midst of a life-shattering onslaught, she fought with him and died at his side.

4. Unrefined and ungracious

After the destruction of Lianhuawu, Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian secretly witnessed a conversation between Wang Lingjiao and Wen Chao. They were discussing Yu Ziyuan, and Wang Lingjiao said the following:

“这个虞贱人也算是活该了，当年仗着家里势力逼着男人跟她成亲，结果呢，成亲了有什么用，人家还不是不喜欢她。当了十几年的弃妇，人人在背后嘲笑。她还不知收敛，飞扬跋扈。最后这样也是报应。”

“This bitch Yu deserved it. Back then, she used her family’s prestige to force that man into marriage. And so? What good did marriage do? He never liked her anyway. She was an unwanted woman for many years and everyone laughed behind her back. +

+ And she still didn’t learn to keep her head down; in fact, she continued to be domineering. I’d say this is karma.” (Translation by me)

And also:

“想想也知道啦，虞贱人这么强势，明明是个女人却整天挥鞭子打人耳光，一点教养都没有，江枫眠娶了这么个老婆还要被她拖累，真是倒了八辈的霉。”

“It’s obvious, this bitch Yu was so violent. She was a woman, yet she waved her whip and slapped people all the time. She wasn’t raised properly. Jiang Fengmian suffered a lot having her as a wife, he was so unfortunate.” (Translation by me)

What an unflattering assessment of Yu Ziyuan. I’d be surprised if Wang Lingjiao had been the only person in the cultivation world with this perspective.

And yet, it’s an opinion I’ve often seen echoed in fandom spaces as well.

So, how did she come to have this reputation? And why were people so quick to paint her as the bad guy, and overlook the sacrifices she made?

Yu Ziyuan’s forcefulness in the Jiang household was born out of duty and necessity.

She feared that leaving Jiang Fengmian and his children to their own devices would cause Yunmeng Jiang to go soft.

Without Yu Ziyuan’s commanding presence in the training fields, the disciples would have spent their days playing in the lake instead of practicing.

Jiang Fengmian would have continued to lavish praise on Wei Wuxian, uncaring of the rumors about him circulating outside his household. And in doing so, he would have put Jiang Cheng’s future at risk.

And so, Yu Ziyuan took it upon herself to show the Jiang clan’s steel to the rest of the cultivation world.

In other words, she stepped up to the plate and put herself in the line of fire, because she was the only one in the Jiang family who was forceful enough and willing enough to do so.

This earned her an unfavorable reputation among the cultivation clans, but she bore it all for the sake of duty, and for the sake of her children.

There were a few, however, who respected her abilities and efforts. Wen Zhuliu was one of them, as evident from his famous remark upon ending her life:

“士可杀不可辱”

“You can kill her, but not disrespect her.” (Translation by me)

This speaks volumes about the kind of person she was. It’s a familiar tale, even in a modern context.

The Chinese “tiger mother” who makes thankless sacrifices (in Yu Ziyuan’s case, she endured negative public perception of her character) to ensure the best for her children.

Final thoughts

It’s easy to think of Yu Ziyuan as the villain of Wei Wuxian’s teenage arc, especially if you regard her as more of a mother figure to him instead of a martial elder, as she was meant to be portrayed.

There are wuxia stories in which (mostly male) masters drove their disciples as hard as Yu Ziyuan drove Wei Wuxian and her own children, but not many of these people seem to have been vilified as much as she has.

My own mother is descended from a Han subgroup that rejected traditional foot-binding practices. In ancient times, the women of my mother’s people tilled the fields, read books, and went to war alongside their men.

For this reason, Yu Ziyuan reminds me of my mother: strong, uncompromising, loyal, and endlessly devoted to her family. Growing up, my mother showed her love for me much in the same way that Yu Ziyuan did for her own children.

She constantly pushed me to do better, to work harder, to achieve more, and ultimately, to be the best version of myself.

My mother and I have had our fair share of ugly disagreements, but as an adult, I’m finally able to recognize and appreciate her sacrifices. And it’s for this reason that I find it virtually impossible to dislike Yu Ziyuan.

Obviously, I can’t speak for everyone of Chinese descent. For some of us, this discourse on Yu Ziyuan’s behavior brings up a lot of painful memories.

These include bitter arguments with our own parents, and fraught comparisons with our peers who were raised under more permissive parenting structures.

I can’t deny that Yu Ziyuan’s behavior towards her children and Wei Wuxian can also be seen as psychologically damaging in the long term, particularly in a modern context and across cultural lines.

But if we look at it from a situational perspective, this is a familiar, relevant refrain for most people who have grown up under Chinese parenting.

And it’s also why it’s easy for a lot of Chinese fans (including me) to see both the positive and negative traits of their own parents in Yu Ziyuan.

Whether you love or hate her, I hope that I managed to adequately explain some of the reasons behind her actions, and to shed some light on her thoughts and feelings throughout her scenes in the story.

Thank you for reading!

*A footnote on family names and married names:

In ancient China, women kept their own family names after marriage.

Only the terms of address would change, so that everyone would know which families they had married into, and by extension who their husbands and children were.

The practice of retaining women’s family names is rooted in Confucian practices. It served to remind everyone of which family the woman had been born into, who her father was, and by association, her relative standing in society.

Though this practice is less common in modern times, the fundamental reasoning behind it is the same. As such, many women still retain their family names in official documents after marriage.

References:
Baidu
Kunnu

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