Sishya - My Guru says X
Skeptic - Well, on what basis?
Si - On the basis of his own experience
Sk - What exactly is his experience?
Si - Those like you who have only bookish knowledge will not understand. To prove myself, here is an incident from book Y
Sk - Well, that is not /1

how the story goes. Here is the reference from the book itself + reference from a derivative text (commentary, subsequent text etc)
Si - That's why people of bookish knowledge will not understand. You rely on books. My Guru can give a scientific explanation /2

based on Quantum Physics, Relativity and Darwin
Sk - Well, let's see this scientific explanation
Si - Quantum Reality Morphed Transition Vortex
Sk - Errmm, which scientific theory/principle/book is that from?
Si - Advanced beings like my Guru know more than mere scientists /3

Sk - Then your Guru must make himself clear in terms that an ordinary Nobel Prize winner would understand as to what 'Quantum Reality Morphed Transition Vortex' is.
Si - Not required, it is the same as Tryambaka Stotram
Sk - Which Veda/Shakha/Purana is that based on? /4

Si - The Vedas are but derivative of the Supreme Being who is addressed in the Tryambaka Stotram.
Sk - Well, please recite the Stotram and explain it to me.
Si - Om Namah Shivaya
Sk - That is the Ashtakshari. What is the meaning?
Si - Quantum Reality Morphed Transition Vortex /5

Sk - This is circular reasoning
Si - The Universe is a circle.
Sk - I give up.
Si - You bookish people are so arrogant. You will know the power of my Guru. He does A to help the environment, B to help the poor people
Sk - How does that make whatever he says right? /6

Si - People like you are the reason why Hindus convert. My Guru has declared that there is temples, the Devas, Agama, Vedas are all not Hindu.
Sk - Yes, now I understand how your Guru stops conversions. If none of these Hindu, there is no Hinduism, there are no Hindus and /7

no one really converts.
Si - You are an obstacle to Hindu Unity. You are casteist, patriarchal bigot.
Sk - Guilty as charged. /END