I'm fond of using the word "intentionality" when I talk about interactions with other humans but what do I mean by that? It's been awhile since I talked about what I mean by this so let's take a look now.

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Whenever I am talking to someone, at any level, from customer service to random eye contact walking down the street, my goal is for them to know they've been seen as a Person. A real Human Being and not just a Thing to Deal With/Avoid.

Unfortunately there's no simple truck or universal answer on how to accomplish this goal and frequently no way to know if my attempt worked, especially if we don't actually interact.

The best advice I have is to center your thoughts on the fact that they ARE a person and not just a problem you're dealing with. To consider how their day is going and if I am going to be a Good Part or a Bad Part of their day. How must I change my approach to be a Good Part?

If you force yourself to realize their humanity and try to empathize with them you will show that in many subtle ways. Word choice, tone of voice, micro expressions, body language, etc. Unconscious expressions of your internal state broadcast by your nervous system to your body.

People DO usually pick up on this. They know when you see Them and not just their job function or the fact they're just an object to you.

This technique has helped improve my customer service experience across the board. I haven't had a bad time at the DMV in years.

It takes practice. It takes work. It's hard. For introverts like myself it takes a non-trivial amount of my limited social interaction budget. But it pays off in the end. It smooths out experiences so they're less stressful overall. It replenishes me when they're obviously happy.

TL;DR: Face each interaction with another person by intentionally engaging them as a person and not just a meaningless part of your day. Focus on the thought they have a life too and try to be a good part of it. They will usually recognize and reflect that to you. Everyone wins.