DMX came into rap when the culture was in mourning. Pac and Biggie had been killed and rap was trying to find itself. Some of the most popular rap acts mourned by moving on and avoiding the issue, choosing to go shiny suits, flossing and capitalism at all costs.

DMX also came into rap when I was in mourning. The “Get At Me Dog” video dropped 5 months after my parents divorced. My family was destroyed and never really recovered. I was in a depression that felt inescapable.

I chose the opposite path to my mourning than rap. I dove into my sadness. And I hated hearing “Been Around The World” because while Diddy was rich I was moving into a 2 bedroom apartment with my mom.

My family was ruined. Rap had abandoned me. I didn’t have anywhere to put my rage.

Then I saw the “Stop Bein Greedy” video. I instantly felt connected to Earl Simmons. I connected to his darkness. His detesting of where rap was. His energy. His pain. It was my pain.

I didn’t know the story of DMX but I knew he had a sadness that I could identify with. “It’s Dark And Hell Is Hot” was all of that inner turmoil that felt like mine. Wanting that anger to go away but knowing you need to embrace it to get it out of your body.

There were days I felt like “Get At Me Dog” and days I felt like “Let Me Fly.” Days I felt like “24 hours to live” and days that felt like a Prayer.

Either way, that album felt like DMX extending his hand to pull me out of my darkness.

I say without any exaggeration that “It’s Dark And Hell is Hot” saved my life. Just like it saved rap. 1998 was a rebirth for rap music as one of the genre’s best years ever. And “It’s Dark And Hell Is Hot” was the Big Bang.

There are not too many people I don’t know who I love. And I honestly love DMX. He saved me and so many of us when he could have just let the darkness win a long time ago.

I don’t know how much time left we have with him here, but every minute has been a blessing.

( I mentioned 24 hours to live earlier when I meant “aggins done started something”)