Thread by @marcuselliott, A bit of a thread about looking out for people. I feel [...]

A bit of a thread about looking out for people. I feel very uncomfortable sharing this but I think it is the right thing to do.

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I went out for a bike ride last night with some friends. On the way home I passed a car parked up on a farm driveway with someone in the front seat. It was getting dark so I couldn& #39;t see clearly, and I was traveling past quite quickly, but I sensed something was wrong.

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The car was parked in the middle of nowhere, the driveway was gated, it was all a bit weird. It took me about 100m to go down the road before I decided that I needed to investigate.

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On my way back, I did worry what I might be getting myself into. Would someone not take lightly to me interfering or being nosey? Being on a bike can leave you quite vulnerable.

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I was also acutely aware that I definitely didn& #39;t want to disturb anyone& #39;s (or couple& #39;s) intimate moments, as there has (allegedly) been some & #39;activity& #39; in that area

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As I rode past slowly for a second pass, I could see that the occupant of the car was a young man, head in hands, seeming to be crying. A little bit of me was relieved that it wasn& #39;t something else, but I also knew I had to help, if I could.

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I pulled up a little distance away from the car, and called through the slightly open window to see if the man was alright. I could see now he was sobbing and inconsolable.

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As the road was along a ridge, and the wind was strong, I struggled to hear so I got a bit closer and pulled up next to the car. He acknowledged I was there, but just sobbed.

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I told him my name was Marcus and asked him his name. I asked him if he was alright and if he needed any help. I told him that I will help him as much as he needs, if he needs it.

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He told me that his life was shit and he was really depressed. He& #39;d split up with his girlfriend a couple of months ago and had lost his job that day. He was in a really bad way and I could see that on his phone next to him, he had dialled 999 but not called.

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He told me he was thinking about calling the police to get himself some help. He had tried the Samaritans before but it hadn& #39;t helped. He wanted to be safe.

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Now, I& #39;m not a counsellor or therapist so how do you deal with someone who you knew was on the edge of making some really bad decisions?

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I told him that things were shit right now, and he shouldn& #39;t feel bad for thinking and feeling that way. In fact, I& #39;m glad he did feel that way, because that& #39;s normal in the circumstances.

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I then told him about my experiences of being in a similar situation, where I wanted to escape and no longer be in the world. Even the time that I sat in my bathroom with a kitchen knife not daring take the last step.

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My life was a complete mess at a time, and I couldn& #39;t see another way out. I felt like I was falling down a well, and that circle of light was getting further and further away.

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But I told him that although things were so bad at that time, they got better. I got better. My circumstances improved, my environment improved and that happiness was possible. My way out started with a sharing how I was feeling.

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The hardest bit was sharing with people we love because we feel like we disappoint them because we failed to cope. But I learned that they feel completely helpless because they know something is wrong but can& #39;t do anything about it.

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Anyway, we started chatting, and he started to open up about what else was going on in his life and how he felt everything piling up on him. I just listened.

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After a while, I asked him if he wanted to access some help, and I would see what we could do. I gave my local NHS listening service a call to see what they could offer and they explained the options available.

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By this time, he& #39;d calmed down and was in a much better way, so we agreed that he would go home and give the listening service a call. We discussed that if he felt worse, he should call 111.

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I gave him my number too, and asked him to drop me a line to let me know that he has got home safely, and that he could contact me any time, if he wanted to. I know it& #39;s a difficult journey but he& #39;d taken the first step.

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He left, and I cycled back home (it was bloody freezing by now), hoping to hear from him but worrying underneath. When I arrived home, I dropped him a quick message thanking him for talking to me and that things can and do get better. And waited.

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Thankfully, about 20 minutes later I received a message thanking me for stopping on my bike and listening to him and that he felt a lot better about his situation.

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So what is the moral of the story? I think there are a few:

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1. A lot of people are struggling right now. Things are shit. It is okay to feel crap about things, because things are crap.

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2. If you are struggling, tell someone. Anyone. The professionals (e.g. @samaritans or NHS 111), strangers, or friends and family. Even just writing an email and sending it to yourself is a start.

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3. If you& #39;re doing okay, keep an eye out for others. Try to be there if someone needs you. It& #39;s not easy to spot when people are struggling but offer help, if you can.

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4. Don& #39;t be scared to help. It& #39;s easy to worry that we can& #39;t help or we might make something worse. Don& #39;t be. People want to feel wanted and valued, do that and you& #39;re helping. Sitting next to someone is helping. Be there if you can.

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5. Men are rubbish. We don& #39;t talk about mental health, we don& #39;t talk about anything. We need to get over ourselves and lose this stigma before it destroys us. "Men must be brave" - well bravery is telling someone you are struggling, not all this macho crap.

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6. The NHS is amazing, and is being destroyed by a toxic government who have stripped funding for mental health support, endangering lives. This is not a political point, this is about our society.

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Thanks for reading, if you got this far. There& #39;s so much more I could add, but I am going to stop here.

Please look after yourself and your loved ones, keep an eye out for other and if you feel able to help, then please try.

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