You really don’t know how brave or capable you truly are until a crisis hits. Take care of yourself and those around you today

When my grandma died, all I wanted to be was invisible. I didn’t want the condolences, people giving me that look and talking only in tones of sympathy. I didn’t share the obit or tell anyone. I can’t do any of that this time and that terrifies me

I’ve realized I’m pretty good at keeping it together when I need to interact with most people. It’s just the quiet moments and those with people I care about I don’t want because I know how it’s going to end up

I know none of my current feelings will be permanent, that there is no bandage to patch me up, no substance to make me feel better. The world’s going to keep turning and I’ll be on the ride

I’m sorry if I’m being a downer and you see this thread. I’m used to this being me shouting in a void to prime myself for reality, which probably isn’t healthy to begin with. But I know this will be easier to get lost in the shuffle instead of a diary I’d linger over