one of the greatest acts you can master in this life is self acceptance. everything boils down to accepting oneself & being able to control one’s toxic idea of perfectionism. that mentality that “everything has to go as planned” or “it has to go as close to perfect as possible”.

recently i’ve been journaling about my heart. how i am a natural born giver & struggle to use my discernment when it comes down to who is deserving of my giving energy. giving comes natural to me, so there is no thought process. there is no, how much energy will this take?

but there needs to be. now that i realize the lengths i’m willing to go for the ones i love, i need to implement more mindfulness & thought towards my efforts. i need to better protect myself. i’m glad i’m in a space where i am thinking proactively instead of self-deprecatingly.

i used to think it was just a curse. i’d call myself stupid, spineless, a pushover because i frequently got taken advantage of for being kind & forgiving. i may have been naive but nothing else was true. i used to blame my heart. i thought my heart was the problem.

the real problem is and always was, my lack of boundaries. not just that, but my lack of “know how” when it comes to the methodology behind implementing these boundaries. through tons of self-reflection, i have now pin pointed the problem & can make adjustments.

i no longer blame my heart, because my heart isn’t the problem. my heart is beautiful, my love is everlasting. the light that bloomed within me when there was nothing but darkness that raised me is revolutionary and special. so i’ll never speak ill of my heart again.

you shouldn’t either. the problem isn’t always you. it may be your approach, maybe your way of thinking but not you. with your permission and will, things in your life can change. you have to be the fire starter though. there’s a lesson in repeating the same mistakes.

i accept myself, the good, the bad, the ugly & the oh so pretty. i know when & how to hold myself accountable. i know life is a matter of trial and error. i am gentle & patient with myself now. i do the best with what i have everyday. perfect does not exist, only progress.