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April is sexual assault awareness month and it’s also the month my assault happened. It’s been 5 years since but I can always feel it mentally when this time of year is creeping up. Here’s a little thread from a survivor about how this still impacts me 5 years later:
I still get reoccurring nightmares of when it happened and will wake up in cold sweats and in tears.
I haven’t looked at my body the same way since.
I have a fear of telling a man no now no matter the situation.
It happened on my 17th birthday and ever since my birthday doesn’t feel the same anymore.
I don’t like car sex even with my boyfriend because it just brings back bad memories.
I can’t do rough sex at all or else it brings back memories.
I had to get tattoos to cover up my self harm scars because I hated my body that much after it happened.
I don’t like physical touch anymore as a form of intimacy.
I finally sought out mental help last year and was officially diagnosed with PTSD, depression, and anxiety and have been on meds and receiving mental help ever since.
I made this thread to just shed some light on the impact these acts have on survivors. To anyone whoever may think nothing much of it, it’s something survivors struggle with for years and even whole lifetimes.
