https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🌺" title="Hibiskus" aria-label="Emoji: Hibiskus">Writer Confessionhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🌺" title="Hibiskus" aria-label="Emoji: Hibiskus">

When I first joined twitter, I subscribed to the concept that my engagement MUST be better than other writers.

I compared numbers consistently - whether likes, RTs, comments or followers, I was always easily jealous of other writers who& #39;d been here longer-

- than me, with large followings and hype teams of their own when it came to updates or tweets on their accounts.

I was insanely competitive, and wanted more. It made me entertain ugly thoughts, some of which I expressed both here and in private, all of which still haunt me now.

I felt disregarded all the time, even insulted, when the big accounts I followed didn& #39;t interact with me.

I don& #39;t know when, but I gradually realised how horrible my mind was becoming, and how dark I made my writing journey, especially when it came to other writers and creators.

Hypocritical, perhaps.

I advocated for kindness, for understanding, urging everyone to be gentle with creators, with themselves, but the truth is I think I was tweeting all those to convince MYSELF that I didn& #39;t need to be that person.

The point is - and I definitely digressed-

- is that I& #39;m probably not as kind or unassuming as I present myself to ya& #39;ll, on most days.

I no longer compare myself to other writers as much as I used to, simply because I& #39;d rather not waste time being that person. I just wanna write, and create stories (for myself mostly).

TLDR; I might not a good person, but I& #39;m fucking trying.

So let& #39;s all just fucking try together, yeah? I& #39;m glad you& #39;re all here with me, and I hope you continue to bear with this sometimes-asshole-writer on this bird app.

Here& #39;s to us, all trying to not be assholes, together.