each time i, unfortunately, think of my abuser and everything he did. i just keep getting angrier. everything that happened just piled on and even after we broke up, he STILL partook in the abuse by controlling and blocking my own narrative.

i don't care anymore. it WAS abuse. and his friends, who were complacent in it, are just as bad. after years, i'm finally able to call it what it was: abuse. and he or his friends don't get to define what abuse is to me.

that's why back in 2018, i didn't say shit. bc i was goaded into believing that it was just a messy break-up. that abusive behavior was normal in a relationship, that what i experienced was alright. but i didn't have proof (i.e. screenshots, recordings, etc.)

it was all verbal and emotional and mental abuse. i didn't have texts or anything saved, so i was gaslighted further and even more by his friends' POST-break-up when i was still in it.

ANYWAYS. sorry for this thread. but im sick and tired of people thinking they can define abuse just to give themselves a pass. and if you willingly participate and give abusers a pass just because they're your friend, you're just as fucking guilty.