i want young lesbians to know that just because "lesbians move fast" doesn't mean they should
i don't mean this in a judgmental way! lesbians do, for many reasons, often move fast. i don't believe this is inherently good or bad
i want lesbians to have the space to evaluate for themselves in the context of their relationship whether moving fast is a good idea!
relationships should have space for the possibility that you might break up. relationships should have space for you to be two separate people who can take their time & think about each decision you are making together
i want young lesbian me to know it's okay to slow down. i want young lesbian me to know that they are cared for, that they are allowed to have their own thoughts, and that "lesbians move fast" is not a reason in & of itself to make commitments
i was a ~u-haul lesbian~ because i was scared to think about what i really wanted & to feel differently than my partner, because i was excited, because i wanted to feel important & cared for & safe and commitment made me feel that way
moving fast doesn't have to just be what lesbians do! moving too fast can lead to a lot of codependency & hurt in ways that aren't always obvious to young dykes! sometimes the thing that will ultimately make you and your partner(s) feel most safe & cared for is moving slowly
sorry if this thread is like really obvious but it wasn't to me two years ago so i had to say it!