I was busy sewing Twitter thread about parenting and discipline, my child was in school acting out. Children will do what?

No child can disgrace me sha. They will disgrace themselves because me, I know I've taught them what I'm supposed to teach them. If they decide to do anyhow, they have chosen to see anyhow.
Guess who's not going on our scheduled weekend trip? And is now crying hot tears.

I'm super upset because that means I'm not going too but the birthday boy deserves his fun weekend & shouldn't be punished for someone else's poor choices.
Spending the weekend in this house with me, who would rather be at a resort loloxing with my husband, is going to be sweeet!

So sweeeeeet

When the child you've lined up chores as punishment for Saturday asks ever so politely if they can start doing them on Friday evening "so I can do a good job and make you proud of me", is it still punishment?? Mopping the floor and humming tunes. I don't know what this means tbh

The trip is still cancelled, the others have left (although I have the option of making the 3 hour drive to Round Rock because the birthday boy deserves) so I know this isn't a trick to earn the lost privilege.
But if the point of punishment is course correction then...

I'm soooooo stressed. I've carried my matter to Jesus. God please give me wisdom.

I called my sister today and cried. My heart was so heavy. Then she reminded my how rocky my relationship with my mom was and how it could be that my mom was scared/frustrated/worried about my future because of the choices I was making back then? That really got me thinking.

And I realized that what I really needed the most then was for my mom to listen. Because I felt misunderstood and it seemed like she had made up her mind about me, so the harder she went, the more obstinate I became. We just never got along.

And she'd say look I'm so tough on you because I love you but we were disconnected. She just wasn't getting through to me.
I cried today because I wish she was still here to support me through the same things she went through with me. Death is such a thief. I feel robbed.

So I tried to connect today. I listened. Then we talked. And we cried. Then I said the consequence wasn't going away though. No trip. All the chores. Plus all the other punishments. Then my child happily starts to do them, now I'm confused because I thought this would be war.

Now I'm in my bed at almost midnight, still in my feelings, sewing Twitter thread. Lol this wasn't what I thought parenting would be like. I fell so... I don't even know. I'm really tired. God please.