Ok so since I grew up fat, weird and ugly, and am still fat, weird and ugly, I knew from way too young of an age how romantic relationships were completely bonkers and built on a tower of deception , body image and social status

I dealt with that specific form of pain and suffering w/ many ways, which included for a long time both judging my friends and peers for their failures in love, and acting as their love guru and guide, their fat friend to fall back on when things didnt work out

bc I knew I couldn& #39;t get love/attention from family or romance, I became like a soldier for friendship, convinced myself for a long time I was only worthy of love if I befriended all sorts of people, and then people would see how great I am so theyd have to love me!!

I have put so much work into unlearning everything I did to survive growing up, and to continue making sense of this cruel world, and a huge part of that has been focused on reshaping what friendship and love look like to me, mean to me, how I perceive my worth, etc

idr why i started this thread but basically i wouldnt be alive if it werent for my gay ass friends i love, my chosen family.

I am always open to new love, new connections, and am hopeful that this summer and future will bring us all love, clarity, orgasms, and more. Amen