I don't understand the arrogance a person must have to state "I know an adopted person" and believe that they now have some special insight into the adoptee experience. You can know 100 adopted people but if you are not one, you do not know what is in our heads/hearts.

And you don't know because no matter how much we love/trust you - we may still NOT feel comfortable sharing how we feel with you! Our fears of rejection, our fears that we are inherently unlovable, our fears that there is something actually wrong with/about us.

Even the happiest of adoptees has likely had to wrestle some demons in regards to adoption.
And no matter how long/well you know someone - everyone has their demons that they just don't share with people.

Knowing an adoptee absolutely does NOT mean you know what it is like to BE an adoptee. Maybe you imagine what it must be/feel like - but chances will be good that you'll still miss the mark. It costs you nothing to stop using adoptees to win arguments. Please just stop.