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I spent years convinced I was the needy, emotional, unhinged friend.
In actuality, I was just surrounded by people who (1) didn't know how to set boundaries, and (2) were so emotionally inaccessible, anyone feeling their feelings around them was automatically a threat.
In actuality, I was just surrounded by people who (1) didn't know how to set boundaries, and (2) were so emotionally inaccessible, anyone feeling their feelings around them was automatically a threat.
Of course you're going to look cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs to people who aren't in touch with their emotions.
Of course you're going to seem threatening to people who don't know how to protect and declare their own feelings, space, needs, desires.
Of course you're going to seem threatening to people who don't know how to protect and declare their own feelings, space, needs, desires.
You're going to seem anxious to someone who is committed to avoiding emotional disclosure.
You're going to seem anxious to someone who doesn't know how to set boundaries around those disclosures.
Because feelings become inherently threatening.
You're going to seem anxious to someone who doesn't know how to set boundaries around those disclosures.
Because feelings become inherently threatening.
You are not the unhinged friend for noticing someone's avoidance and naming it.
You are not the unhinged friend for having emotions and disclosing them.
You are not the unhinged friend for not knowing someone else's boundaries when they weren't set to begin with.
You are not the unhinged friend for having emotions and disclosing them.
You are not the unhinged friend for not knowing someone else's boundaries when they weren't set to begin with.
Reminder: You can't meet needs that others aren't naming. You can't abide by boundaries someone refuses to set until after the fact. You can't honor someone else's emotional experiences if they aren't willing to disclose them.
You're not "too much."
Maybe the people around you are just too unskilled to set appropriate boundaries and communicate them to you.
Maybe their discomfort and avoidance of emotional disclosure... is just their shit?
Maybe the people around you are just too unskilled to set appropriate boundaries and communicate them to you.
Maybe their discomfort and avoidance of emotional disclosure... is just their shit?
