Depression -> Making life my bitch

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Let me start by saying I used to discredit depression before I ever felt it. In my mind it was stop wining and grow up.
It was easy to say at the time.
But I did have a phase that lasted about 8 months.
I was lonely, sad and bitter everyday. My childhood taught me to just push through painful times because they would be over soon but this felt like hell.
My mentality towards my feelings where, “stop being a pussy, you’re a little bitch”. Insecurity galore.
I thought it would be like that forever, I felt very “lost”…
I contemplated suicide and felt like a coward when I couldn’t do it.
There was no “secret trick” to get me back up but I did learn some things.
1.) Immediately identify an identity for yourself, Who are you? Who would you like to become? Imagine it and write it down somewhere. “Nothing means anything” Sure you can select any frame of time in the universe and deem it meaningless, but you’re here now against ALL odds.
There Is something for you to do.
Then figure out why you want to be who you want to be. Your beliefs need a solid foundation.
If you don’t have a reason to do something why the fuck are you doing it?
People will half ass this because it’s hard to ask yourself these questions and they give up, don’t do that. Take a lot of time to think until you have a solid answer.
You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself.
2.) Stop with all the noisy bullshit dumb current events, news, politics, drama, he said she said, “oh did you hear what bla bla did last week? FUCK OFF
The best way to stop caring what people think about you is to get away from them and then realize they are all plugged into this incredible delusion that random things and irrelevant people on instagram and YouTube and IN REAL LIFE are important.
They are not.
It’s YOU. It’s YOUR LIFE. You need to focus on what you need to do in your life.
Fuck all else. If its not helping you then its in your way.
3.) Pain is good. You tear your muscles they rebuild stronger, you get sick your body learns to fight sickness.

Doing shit that isn’t immediately gratifying is usually hard, makes sense right?
It’s that same “hard” thing that you look back on realizing how proud you are of yourself for doing, THATS FULFILLING DUDE.
No wonder you have no self esteem you have never done anything to impress YOU.
Do things that are hard but important to you and an ecosystem of self-esteem and motivation will follow.
If someone came to you and gifted you the dream car you’ve always wanted (say a 720s), you would be excited and happy at first, eventually you wouldn’t really appreciate that car, you’d take it for granted.
It was easy, 0 - 100, no pain or dedication.
You can not appreciate your own dream if you did not earn it.
Now if you dreamed about that car for years and worked hard to get to a place where you could buy it, the feeling would be 180. You could think back driving the car 4 years from then it and still appreciate the fuck out of it because YOU WORKED HARD FOR IT.
Oh if I could take a pill to get a 6 pack id be happy, no you fucking wouldn’t. I bet you 100/1 odds people that get fat reduction surgery are still insecure deep deep down. Fight me.
I had to determine what I wanted out of myself and then sail off. I don’t care about the pain or anything else in my way. I know for sure going through that successfully gave ME peace.
I know exactly what I want in life, I am bullet proof. Nothing stands in my way I feel like a starving lion and life a juicy piece of meat. Thats all.
If this thread makes you feel like I’m better than you, it shouldn’t in the slightest.
Remember my 2nd point, You don’t give a shit about me or anyone else. You give a shit about you and where you need to go.
Don’t forget that, I can reassure you that you reading this now have none of my concerns.
You can follow @cbassg16.
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