Being of the opinion that the sheer number of really messed up things in nature could not have arisen by accident or coincidence, I subscribe to the theory of inelegant design, which posits that evolution is guided by an intelligence that doesn't actually know what it's doing.
Darwinian survival of the fittest does not adequately account for the existence of the koala, a stoned little gremlin that does nothing but sleep all day and eat cough drop trees. We must posit the existence of a greater (in power) being who somehow thought this was a good idea.
See, the mammalian spine is a perfectly good design for a quadruped. And yet, the pinnacle of mammalian evolution is bipedal?

The existence of an inelegant designer explains this discrepancy.
If you were walking in the desert and you found, like, a really ugly watch that technically sort of worked but had a lot of weird quirks, you wouldn't think, "This watch occurred naturally." Nor would you think, "The watchmaker knew what they were doing and meant to do this."
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