Read on Twitter
Look I'm gonna give it to you straight: every time you think you're wryly telling yourself "I can't do this" and "I'm no good" your brain actually takes it to be the truth. All those writer memes you post about "haha us writers, always procrastinating, huh?" actually hurt you.
There's way too much self-deprecation, especially amongst writers; there's an art to it self-deprecation as a form of humor and most of you are using it the way people use a lot of ironic humor--destructively, to yourself. You are destroying your own confidence with no benefit.
I know people who say "I'm a novelist" but post all the "haha i'm so lazy/I'm total garbage" memes and never write anything at all because ultimately they are psyching themselves out!
I've talked with my therapist about this and how I've done it--I've had to stop being that way.
I've talked with my therapist about this and how I've done it--I've had to stop being that way.
Tell yourself "I am a good writer" even if it feels untrue. Tell yourself "I can do this" when you feel you can't. Talk about your good points. When you tweet about writing, talk about what you like about yourself. Remove self deprecation from your vocabulary and thought process.
I have friends who have genuine, severe depression who also say "I can't do this" and for people like us, yeah, it fuckin suuuucks to feel like the act of writing is a monumental, impossible undertaking.
Turns out telling yourself "I can do this" works for that too.
Turns out telling yourself "I can do this" works for that too.
You are actually capable, or you are on the way to becoming capable. You don't do any good to yourself by being unkind, by trying to make ironic jokes about what you can't do.
But if you tell yourself "what I like about my writing is..." or "what I look forward to writing is..."
But if you tell yourself "what I like about my writing is..." or "what I look forward to writing is..."
Think of your brain like a dog, and think of encouragement--self-encouragement--like giving it treats, while "i'm no good" is a smack on the head.
Give your brain treats. Tell yourself you are good, even if it feels like a lie, because it actually IS NOT a lie.
Give your brain treats. Tell yourself you are good, even if it feels like a lie, because it actually IS NOT a lie.
if you're spending all your time doing the "us writers, huh?" memes, you're becoming an expert at shitting on yourself, and you could be spending those moments being kind to yourself instead.
Ultimately, it takes 10,000 hours to get good at anything, right?
Ultimately, it takes 10,000 hours to get good at anything, right?
Yeah you might look at your writing and cringe and go "I suck" but that's okay, you're at 10 hours, 1,000 hours, 5,000 hours, you're getting there.
So be kind to yourself, inside your own head, to teach your brain that this thing you love is rewarding.
So be kind to yourself, inside your own head, to teach your brain that this thing you love is rewarding.
I know more people who want to tell themselves ironic "us writers, huh" memes as a way of defending themselves from feeling inadequate while they learn to become a good writer and what they're actually doing is making their brain not want to write.
Having a really vivid imagination isn't anything; ultimately, a writer ships. I know what I don't like in Adios. However, nearly every review praises the game, so rather than reinforcing any doubts I have about myself, I tell myself the game is 97% positive on Steam.
I am going to train my brain to look forward to writing, and I am NOT going to give it permission to trick itself into thinking everything I do is no good.
Ultimately, falling prey to that trap made it hard to write.
Ultimately, falling prey to that trap made it hard to write.
I think a lot of people focus on "writer as identity" and join writers groups and share writers memes and so much of it is this self-deprecating awfulness.
The successful writers?
They don't bask in their shortcomings or identity-as-writer. They are not unkind to themselves.
The successful writers?
They don't bask in their shortcomings or identity-as-writer. They are not unkind to themselves.
The successful writers aren't out there posting "haha god my latest draft is such garbage" nearly as often as so many aspiring writers who literally beat themselves up so hard that writing becomes joyless to them.
The successful writers have stories they are excited to tell.
The successful writers have stories they are excited to tell.
So be kind to yourself, write a lot so you develop expertise, turn writing into something you look forward to doing, and stop giving in to the unhealthy habit of telling yourself that you aren't any good.
You are incredibly good, but maybe you aren't there yet. You will be.
You are incredibly good, but maybe you aren't there yet. You will be.
"but doc don't you spend a lot of time not writing" yeah but see Im also someone with a 97% positive rated game on steam, with all reviews praising the writing, because, you see, I am a good writer. I also have a specific process that works for me.
And I bet I can get better!
And I bet I can get better!
"I can't write so why should I bother" bitch you told me you were EXCITED about this story. I know you. I know this story means the world to you. The only thing stopping you--in your own words--is that you keep "joking" about you not being good enough.
Get them 10,000 hours in.
Get them 10,000 hours in.
but also, see what I did there? Again, this is shit my therapist told me to do; I looked at what I HAD done, what I DID do, what I am CAPABLE of doing, what I am EXCITED about doing.
I know it's HARD, right? I have a severe case of a major depressive disorder.
I know it's HARD, right? I have a severe case of a major depressive disorder.
But if I am kind to myself, I can make things. If I am unkind, I will never output anything. There are other habits I need to develop that will help me output more, and obviously treating ADHD and Depression will help tremendously.
But it starts with kindness.
So be kind.
So be kind.
"doc what about that thread where you called yourself a himbo" yeah that's ACTUAL self-deprecating humor and it was genuinely funny.
Most "self-deprecating humor" doesn't have a punchline and isn't funny, you're just teaching your brain to think the lie that you are not good.
Most "self-deprecating humor" doesn't have a punchline and isn't funny, you're just teaching your brain to think the lie that you are not good.
something something wow this blew up. if you want to help me pay for medical expenses, I have some emergency stuff coming up and could use the assistance at
http://paypal.me/stompsite or http://ko-fi.com/stompsite
http://paypal.me/stompsite or http://ko-fi.com/stompsite
I won't get any money from it for a while but if you want to see whether or not I actually am a good writer, consider checking out my game Adios: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1271400/Adios/
don't have a PC? it's also available on xbox! https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/p/adios/9pgrs6ww78mb?activetab=pivot:overviewtab
By the way if you read this thread and you started beating yourself up, I want you to stop, I want you to say "I forgive myself," and then realize this is something new that you can do!! It is a new tool in your kit.
I am giving you this tool to help you grow more powerful, I am not berating you for not having it already. Now that you have this tool, you can use it in the way that helps you best.
It's probably going to feel like a lie to you to tell yourself "I am good" if you have been training your brain to think "I am not good" so consider trying "I will become good if I keep at it" or "this idea is so good I have to share it with people"
I think this might actually help you if you have impostor syndrome. I think that actually comes from years of telling ones self "haha it's so funny I'm not actually good"
Because of course you're going to worry everyone will think you're a fraud if you've been joking you are
Because of course you're going to worry everyone will think you're a fraud if you've been joking you are
