What’s wild is I wrote that prayer after a White person - someone I would have called a friend at the time - dropped the N-word in a casual conversation. Y’all, I’m one generation removed from sharecropping. That word is traumatic AF.

When my grandfather was 7, he & his dad escaped from their SC sharecropping farm in the middle of the night. They ran away to FL. In the 1900s, y’all, they had to escape under the cover of darkness!

These are the stories I’ve grown up with my whole life. I was hella triggered when that person used the N-word, a word that I NEVER say in full. And what did I do with that rage? Did I seek vengeance? Did I put the person on blast and try to ruin their rep?

I took my rage to God in prayer. I owned it. I was truthful to God about what I was struggling with. And I prayed for God not to let anger and hatred overwhelm me.

I prayed to be true to the biblical mandate for peace, justice, & reconciliation even though I don’t think it’s possible.

In all truth, my family and my personal experiences have given me millions of reasons to hate White people. The hatred would be justified. I could even find biblical precedent for it.

But dammit if God hasn’t given me a different spirit, one that insists on looking for goodness and possibility, one that holds anger and hope together.

This thread isn’t for the critics. They’re so wrapped in White supremacist Christianity that only God and maybe some cult deprogramming can help them. #shakethedustoff