Read on Twitter
the kind of cycle
where if you do X I wouldn't tell you you made me feel bad, because doing so would make you feel bad
and therefore you won't do X just to be sure
wastes so much damn happiness compared to "you do X, I tell you if I mind X and want you to stop"
where if you do X I wouldn't tell you you made me feel bad, because doing so would make you feel bad
and therefore you won't do X just to be sure
wastes so much damn happiness compared to "you do X, I tell you if I mind X and want you to stop"
please, *please* do not take people's emotions into account too much before you do shit. if people ask you to act differently around them, that's when you can think about doing so; but please first just be yourself.
"but what if people wouldn't tell me if I were making them feel bad"
as someone who finds it hard to tell people when they make me feel bad: please fucking risk making me feel bad. it's my responsibility to tell you, not yours to assume I'd feel bad.
as someone who finds it hard to tell people when they make me feel bad: please fucking risk making me feel bad. it's my responsibility to tell you, not yours to assume I'd feel bad.
I'll learn to do this better. It is on *me* to learn to do this. In the meantime, I'd much rather I got to know *you* instead of some amputated, lobotomized, neutered version of who you are.
(disclaimer: this doesn't hold for everyone. but it holds for some people; and I'd much rather have a world where we all felt free to be ourselves and some got hurt, than one where we all pre-emptively repressed ourselves so as not to hurt anyone else.)
(disclaimer disclaimer: when it comes to small things, though -- and most of these things are very small -- I really do think you should take my requests here seriously. Duncan Sabien wrote about this eloquently in his essay which you might like to read https://medium.com/@ThingMaker/in-defense-of-punch-bug-68fcec56cd6b)
