-“Trauma bonding”
-“Gaslighting”
-“Emotional abuse”
-“dissociating”
-“triggered”

Thread to follow about how these get used incorrectly - because it HELLA bugs me how often they’re used incorrectly but I think a lot of folks just don’t know! 1/ https://twitter.com/NomeDaBarbarian/status/1378556287563169794

Trauma bonding is a part of an abuse cycle and it’s a clinical term that refers to the connection between a victim and their abuser wherein the victim is connected/attached to their abuser because of the comfort, love, care, or safety they receive from the abuser. 2/

Trauma bonding does NOT mean “bonding with someone over our traumas” or “feeling connected to someone by shared trauma”!!! 3/

Gaslighting is another form of abuse and it is a deliberate manipulation tactic designed to make you doubt your perception of reality. Gaslighting is NOT just someone disagreeing with you or lying with you! 4/

Emotional abuse is abuse. Abuse by definition implies a pattern and some longevity in the dynamic, and its purpose is power and control. It is NOT the same as harm (rather- abuse is harm but harm is not always abuse). 5/

If someone yells at you, degrades you, or manipulates you in an isolated incident, that is harm. If someone yells at you, degrades you, and manipulates you as part of a pattern of maintaining power and control within your relationship, that’s emotional abuse. 6/

Dissociation (nottttt “disassociation”) is another clinical term that refers to emotional/mental detachment that disconnects/numbs you to your feelings, thoughts, or current experiences. Dissociation is often a trauma response (either in the moment of trauma or later). 7/

Dissociation is NOT just being distracted or not paying attention to something. Dissociation is often accompanied by memory gaps, occasionally flashbacks, inability to connect with thoughts/emotions during that time, feeling like reality is distorted/“blurry,” etc. 8/

And lastly, triggered is again a clinical term that refers to parts of our trauma being activated in our brains/nervous systems by external factors (triggers). It does NOT mean being upset or angered by something. 9/

Someone arguing with you is not “triggered” just bc they’re arguing with you. You are not “triggered” just bc you’re upset with someone. An example of being triggered is like how my nervous system activates/tenses when I hear helicopters ever since last May, 10/

or how certain sounds/sights/scents/feelings can trigger trauma-related flashbacks for people, or how certain situations can trigger trauma-related panic attacks for people. It is not an insult to throw at someone whose politics differ from yours.

Hope that is helpful! 11/11

One last thing- a lot of folks misuse these terms (intentionally or not) bc they feel this type of jargon is the only way for harm to be taken seriously/valid. It’s NOT. Harm, hurt, and pain you’ve experienced is absolutely valid & worth addressing even if it is not these things.

This is getting lots of attention and I’m hopeful/glad it is helpful for folks! Going to mute the thread because the notifs are a lot, but thank you for sharing!