I noticed that my 6-yo was being a lil rude/curt w/me, so I asked her what was up. At first, she just looked at me, so I reiterated that I can’t help her if I don’t know what’s wrong.

Then I asked, “Why are you being unkind to me? What happened?”

She looked at me and said, “I don’t know,” and started crying. I told her, “It’s okay. Sometimes mommy just doesn’t feel happy too. You’re not in trouble. I just needed to know how to help.”

She said, “My brain tells me to be rude.” I told her that’s sort of how it happens for lots of people. When our emotions aren’t happy, sometimes we take it out on others even when they don’t deserve it.

She asked, “Wait. Your brain does it too?!” I told her yes, and then I asked her if I could teach her something that might help. She said yes, so I told her, “When you aren’t quite feeling right but don’t want to be mean, you can say, ‘I’m not feeling my best self; I need a min.”

So, we practiced saying that over and over again until she felt better. She gave me a hug and stopped crying.

I think about all the ways I *could’ve* responded, particularly a power trip bc “I’m the adult,” but she needed to process something not even about me.

Trying to be slower to projection or anger has really given me an opportunity to coach my children on emotional maturity. Even at 6, she can learn how to challenge her own thoughts. She can learn how her brain works and the best ways to engage w/others.