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Here’s a complete, line by line translation of “Fantasy Soul Trade: Me, Me, Myself and I,” AKA the 3.31 body swap event from ARB. For the best experience, read this along with the event story, as it’s fully voiced and the voice actors have a blast playing each other’s characters!
*Chapter 1: The man in the mirror is …*
Ichiro: Uggghh …
Ichiro: I’m still sleepy …
Saburo: Ichinii, time to get up!
Ichiro: Ugh … let me sleep more …
Ichiro: Uggghh …
Ichiro: I’m still sleepy …
Saburo: Ichinii, time to get up!
Ichiro: Ugh … let me sleep more …
Saburo: I’m sure you’re tired, and I’d love to let you sleep in, but you were saying that we have a job to take care of from this morning, right?
Ichiro: Huh? A job …
Ichiro: … why is Ichiro’s baby brother here?
Ichiro: Huh? A job …
Ichiro: … why is Ichiro’s baby brother here?
Saburo: ? It’s rare for you to still be half asleep. Breakfast is ready, so I’ll go downstairs ahead of you.
Ichiro: What … and this is … Ichiro’s room … right?
Ichiro: Wha- wh- WHY am I Ichiro all of a sudden!!!
(Scene change)
Ichiro: What … and this is … Ichiro’s room … right?
Ichiro: Wha- wh- WHY am I Ichiro all of a sudden!!!
(Scene change)
Ichiro (Samatoki): ……
Jiro: Niichan, good morning!
Ichiro (Samatoki): Uh, yeah ...
Saburo: Ichinii, here you go. Sunny side up.
Ichiro (Samatoki): Uh … thank you …
Ichiro (Samatoki): (Seriously, what the hell is going on here … I don’t get it …)
Jiro: Niichan, good morning!
Ichiro (Samatoki): Uh, yeah ...
Saburo: Ichinii, here you go. Sunny side up.
Ichiro (Samatoki): Uh … thank you …
Ichiro (Samatoki): (Seriously, what the hell is going on here … I don’t get it …)
Saburo: Ichinii … don’t you usually put soy sauce on your eggs?
Ichiro (Samatoki): Huh? I only ever put salt on my eggs.
Saburo: Is … is that so …
Jiro: Niichan, I’ll help out with our job today!
Ichiro (Samatoki): Job …?
Ichiro (Samatoki): Huh? I only ever put salt on my eggs.
Saburo: Is … is that so …
Jiro: Niichan, I’ll help out with our job today!
Ichiro (Samatoki): Job …?
Jiro: Organizing Tama-san’s storehouse in the 3rd district! The more hands, the better, right?
Ichiro (Samatoki): Uh, yeah … that’s right …
Saburo: Ichinii, I’ll go along too!
Ichiro (Samatoki): Uh, yeah … that’s right …
Saburo: Ichinii, I’ll go along too!
Jiro: Ha! Organizing the storehouse means we’ll be carrying heavy things, won’t it be too much for a weak little boy like you?
Saburo: Don’t make fun of me! I’m still a man! I can handle a box or two, no problem!
Saburo: Don’t make fun of me! I’m still a man! I can handle a box or two, no problem!
Jiro: Haha! You say that, but you couldn’t even carry your own PC by yourself. Who helped you out with that, huh??
Saburo: Ugh …
Jiro: Hahahaha! You better just stay home and stare at your computer!
Saburo: You …!
Jiro: Ow!! What was that for!
Saburo: You started it!
Saburo: Ugh …
Jiro: Hahahaha! You better just stay home and stare at your computer!
Saburo: You …!
Jiro: Ow!! What was that for!
Saburo: You started it!
Ichiro (Samatoki): Dammit …. Should I go back to Yokohama … or should I try to figure out why I ended up this way first …?)
Jiro: …
Saburo: …
Jiro: Usually Niichan would’ve stopped us by now …
Saburo: Yeah … he was acting strange when he woke up this morning too …
Jiro: …
Saburo: …
Jiro: Usually Niichan would’ve stopped us by now …
Saburo: Yeah … he was acting strange when he woke up this morning too …
Ichiro (Samatoki): Goddammit!!
Jiro, Saburo: !
Jiro: Ni-Niichan … what’s wrong?
Saburo: Ichinii … are you okay …?
Ichiro (Samatoki): Shut up! I’m not Ichiro!
Jiro: Huh, wha- what do you mean …?
Ichiro (Samatoki): I’m Aohitsugi Samatoki!
Jiro, Saburo: !
Jiro: Ni-Niichan … what’s wrong?
Saburo: Ichinii … are you okay …?
Ichiro (Samatoki): Shut up! I’m not Ichiro!
Jiro: Huh, wha- what do you mean …?
Ichiro (Samatoki): I’m Aohitsugi Samatoki!
* Chapter 2: A calm analysis of the situation*
Samatoki (Ichiro): This isn’t an anime … why am I Samatoki …
Samatoki (Ichiro): (Calm down … at times like this it’s important to stay calm … okay, let’s start from the beginning.)
Samatoki (Ichiro): This isn’t an anime … why am I Samatoki …
Samatoki (Ichiro): (Calm down … at times like this it’s important to stay calm … okay, let’s start from the beginning.)
Samatoki (Ichiro): (First of all, when I woke up this morning I was like this … Aaaghh!! I still don’t get it!!)
Gang member: Boss, pardon the intrusion.
Samatoki (Ichiro): (I need some water to calm down …)
Gang member: Um … boss?
Gang member: Boss, pardon the intrusion.
Samatoki (Ichiro): (I need some water to calm down …)
Gang member: Um … boss?
Samatoki (Ichiro): Gulp, gulp, gulp … Bleh!! Cough cough cough … that’s gross.
Gang member: Um, boss … why are you drinking water from the flower vase …?
Samatoki (Ichiro): Hah, hah, hah … I, I just … was wondering what the water in the flower vase tasted like …
Gang member: Um, boss … why are you drinking water from the flower vase …?
Samatoki (Ichiro): Hah, hah, hah … I, I just … was wondering what the water in the flower vase tasted like …
Gang member: Uh-huh …
Samatoki (Ichiro): Ahahahaha … ha …
Gang member: Oh, that’s right, Boss, Iruma-san and Busujima-san are here to see you.
Samatoki (Ichiro): Oh, okay …
Samatoki (Ichiro): There’s really no reason for me to pretend to be Samatoki …
Samatoki (Ichiro): Ahahahaha … ha …
Gang member: Oh, that’s right, Boss, Iruma-san and Busujima-san are here to see you.
Samatoki (Ichiro): Oh, okay …
Samatoki (Ichiro): There’s really no reason for me to pretend to be Samatoki …
Jyuto: Samatoki, what did you want to talk about?
Rio: Is there a fight going on somewhere …?
Samatoki (Ichiro): Huh … what I wanted to talk about? Aren’t you guys the ones who have business here?
Jyuto: Sigh … don’t tell me you called us here for nothing?
Rio: Is there a fight going on somewhere …?
Samatoki (Ichiro): Huh … what I wanted to talk about? Aren’t you guys the ones who have business here?
Jyuto: Sigh … don’t tell me you called us here for nothing?
Samatoki (Ichiro): N-No … I … um …
Rio: … Samatoki, are you okay? You seem different than usual …
Jyuto: Indeed …
Samatoki (Ichiro): Hey … you might not believe this, but …
Rio: What?
Samatoki (Ichiro): Actually … I’m not Samatoki, I’m Yamada Ichiro …
Rio: … Samatoki, are you okay? You seem different than usual …
Jyuto: Indeed …
Samatoki (Ichiro): Hey … you might not believe this, but …
Rio: What?
Samatoki (Ichiro): Actually … I’m not Samatoki, I’m Yamada Ichiro …
Rio: What … do you mean?
Samatoki (Ichiro): It’s exactly like I said and nothing else! I’m Yamada Ichiro!
Jyuto: Samatoki …
Samatoki (Ichiro): I told you, I’m Ichiro!
Jyuto: I know a good doctor … I’ll introduce you, so go get your head checked …
Samatoki (Ichiro): It’s exactly like I said and nothing else! I’m Yamada Ichiro!
Jyuto: Samatoki …
Samatoki (Ichiro): I told you, I’m Ichiro!
Jyuto: I know a good doctor … I’ll introduce you, so go get your head checked …
Samatoki (Ichiro): I know I’m saying things that would make people think I’ve lost my mind, but it’s the truth!
Jyuto: …
Rio: …
Jyuto: This is all quite unbelievable, but we can say for sure that you aren’t the usual Samatoki.
Rio: Yes, definitely.
Jyuto: …
Rio: …
Jyuto: This is all quite unbelievable, but we can say for sure that you aren’t the usual Samatoki.
Rio: Yes, definitely.
Jyuto: If it were really Samatoki, he would be completely losing his temper right around now.
Samatoki (Ichiro): Heh … you’re right … if it were that short-tempered asshole he’d’ve been out of control.
Samatoki (Ichiro): Heh … you’re right … if it were that short-tempered asshole he’d’ve been out of control.
Jyuto: Well then, I’ll address this question to Ichiro trapped inside Samatoki’s body …
Samatoki (Ichiro): Yeah, what’s up?
Jyuto: What the hell is going on?
Samatoki (Ichiro): … that’s what I want to know.
Samatoki (Ichiro): Yeah, what’s up?
Jyuto: What the hell is going on?
Samatoki (Ichiro): … that’s what I want to know.
Rio: How strange that something like this would happen in real life …. Wait … if we can unravel the mystery behind this phenomenon, it might be useful for military purposes …
Samatoki (Ichiro): I need to find a way to get back to normal soon … there’s no way I can stand being like this for the rest of my life …
Jyuto: A way to get back to normal … If we can find the reason that this happened, then we may also find a way to solve the problem, yes?
Jyuto: A way to get back to normal … If we can find the reason that this happened, then we may also find a way to solve the problem, yes?
Samatoki (Ichiro): You’re right … guess I’ll go pay myself a visit.
*Chapter 3: Nothing changes no matter how often you look*
Ramuda (Jakurai): Hm … no mater how many times I look, I’m Amemura-kun …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Hm … no mater how many times I look, I’m Amemura-kun …
Ramuda (Jakurai): (The possibilities I can think of are - this is a dream, or for some reason our souls have exchanged bodies … the dream is the most realistic one.)
Ramuda (Jakurai): (slapping sound) (This doesn’t seem to be a dream … which means that we’ve switched bodies.)
Ramuda (Jakurai): (slapping sound) (This doesn’t seem to be a dream … which means that we’ve switched bodies.)
Ramuda (Jakurai): (I can hardly believe this, but … I suppose I have to accept it)
Ramuda (Jakurai): Ha … this is deeply fascinating …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Ha … this is deeply fascinating …
Ramuda (Jakurai): (stomach rumbles) Your blood sugar drops when you’re hungry. This is hardly a condition to do any thinking in. For now, I think I’ll go get something to eat.
(Scene change)
Cafe staff: Are you ready to order?
(Scene change)
Cafe staff: Are you ready to order?
Ramuda (Jakurai): Yes. I’d like the napolitan pasta and coffee afterwards, please.
Cafe staff: Thank you very much.
….
Cafe staff: Here is your coffee.
Ramuda (Jakurai): Thank you.
Ramuda (Jakurai): Phew …
Gentaro: … Oh? This is a rare sight to see.
….
Cafe staff: Thank you very much.
….
Cafe staff: Here is your coffee.
Ramuda (Jakurai): Thank you.
Ramuda (Jakurai): Phew …
Gentaro: … Oh? This is a rare sight to see.
….
Gentaro: It’s quite unusual for you to be here all on your own, Ramuda.
Ramuda (Jakurai): Hm? … Ah, you’re the novelist Gentaro Yumeno, correct?
Gentaro: …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Please, no need to stand there, have a seat.
Gentaro: …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Hm? … Ah, you’re the novelist Gentaro Yumeno, correct?
Gentaro: …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Please, no need to stand there, have a seat.
Gentaro: …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Would you be fine with coffee, Yumeno-sensei?
Gentaro: Uh, yes …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Excuse me … a coffee for him as well, please.
Cafe staff: Right away.
Gentaro: …
Gentaro: You are … Ramuda … aren’t you?
Gentaro: Uh, yes …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Excuse me … a coffee for him as well, please.
Cafe staff: Right away.
Gentaro: …
Gentaro: You are … Ramuda … aren’t you?
Ramuda (Jakurai): My appearance is, without a doubt, Ramuda.
Gentaro: That’s quite the loaded sentence.
Ramuda (Jakurai): … I am about to say something unbelievable … are you ready?
Gentaro: Ramuda is always saying unbelievable things.
Gentaro: That’s quite the loaded sentence.
Ramuda (Jakurai): … I am about to say something unbelievable … are you ready?
Gentaro: Ramuda is always saying unbelievable things.
Ramuda (Jakurai): Indeed … I suppose Amemura-kun is like that.
Gentaro: … well? What is this unbelievable thing you have to say?
Ramuda (Jakurai): Actually … I am Jinguji Jakurai.
Gentaro: … well? What is this unbelievable thing you have to say?
Ramuda (Jakurai): Actually … I am Jinguji Jakurai.
Gentaro: I see … now that you say it, the way you’re speaking and behaving is just like Jinguji Jakurai.
Ramuda (Jakurai): You … believe me?
Gentaro: No …
Ramuda (Jakurai): …
Ramuda (Jakurai): You … believe me?
Gentaro: No …
Ramuda (Jakurai): …
Gentaro: It’s not that I believe you. It feels more real to say that Ramuda is fooling around and putting on an act.
Gentaro: However, I can’t imagine why Ramuda would do something like that. After all, my understanding is that Ramuda completely loathes you.
Gentaro: However, I can’t imagine why Ramuda would do something like that. After all, my understanding is that Ramuda completely loathes you.
Gentaro: Therefore, I’ll go along with it and take you seriously.
Ramuda (Jakurai): Just what I would expect from someone in a team with Amemura-kun … you are also a deeply fascinating person.
Gentaro: Haha … I’m flattered by your praise.
Ramuda (Jakurai): Just what I would expect from someone in a team with Amemura-kun … you are also a deeply fascinating person.
Gentaro: Haha … I’m flattered by your praise.
Dice: Ah! You ARE here!
Gentaro: Oh, hello Dice. Is something the matter?
Dice: Man, I haven’t eaten for a few days, and I was gonna get Ramuda to feed me but he wasn’t in his office. So I figured if I came here I’d find you.
Gentaro: Sigh … for the love of …
Gentaro: Oh, hello Dice. Is something the matter?
Dice: Man, I haven’t eaten for a few days, and I was gonna get Ramuda to feed me but he wasn’t in his office. So I figured if I came here I’d find you.
Gentaro: Sigh … for the love of …
Ramuda (Jakurai): You haven’t eaten in a few days? That’s not good.
Dice: Right? So please feed this poor, pitiful me!
Ramuda (Jakurai): Indeed …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Excuse me.
Cafe staff: Yes?
Ramuda (Jakurai): I’d like to order everything on the food menu.
Dice: Huh???
Dice: Right? So please feed this poor, pitiful me!
Ramuda (Jakurai): Indeed …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Excuse me.
Cafe staff: Yes?
Ramuda (Jakurai): I’d like to order everything on the food menu.
Dice: Huh???
Cafe staff: R-Right away …
….
Cafe staff: Here you go, thank you for waiting …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Well then, eat up.
Dice: A-All of this …
Dice: (There’s no way I can eat all this …)
Ramuda (Jakurai): There’s no need to hold back! Go on … go on!
Dice: Eeekk …
….
Cafe staff: Here you go, thank you for waiting …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Well then, eat up.
Dice: A-All of this …
Dice: (There’s no way I can eat all this …)
Ramuda (Jakurai): There’s no need to hold back! Go on … go on!
Dice: Eeekk …
Gentaro: Dice, you shouldn’t hesitate to accept people’s kindness.
Dice: I-I’ll eat everything!
Ramuda (Jakurai): You’re eating that so enthusiastically.
Gentaro: (Is this for real …? Jinguji Jakurai is somewhat terrifying.)
Dice: I-I’ll eat everything!
Ramuda (Jakurai): You’re eating that so enthusiastically.
Gentaro: (Is this for real …? Jinguji Jakurai is somewhat terrifying.)
*Chapter 4: What exactly are we witnessing?*
Colleague: Kannonzaka, I’m done for the day -
Doppo: Okay, see you tomorrow!
Doppo: It’s already this late …
Doppo: (It’s only 20 minutes until I’m supposed to meet up with Hifumi … better get going.)
Colleague: Kannonzaka, I’m done for the day -
Doppo: Okay, see you tomorrow!
Doppo: It’s already this late …
Doppo: (It’s only 20 minutes until I’m supposed to meet up with Hifumi … better get going.)
Doppo: See you all tomorrow …
(Scene change)
Doppo: Sigh … I’m exhausted today too …
Doppo: (Hifumi isn’t here yet.)
Jakurai (Ramuda): Hey, hey, onee-san! If you’re not busy did you wanna go for dinner together?
Young woman: What, Jinguji Jakurai … with, with me?
(Scene change)
Doppo: Sigh … I’m exhausted today too …
Doppo: (Hifumi isn’t here yet.)
Jakurai (Ramuda): Hey, hey, onee-san! If you’re not busy did you wanna go for dinner together?
Young woman: What, Jinguji Jakurai … with, with me?
Jakurai (Ramuda): That’s right⭐︎ I wanna hang out with you~
Young woman: Y-yes! I’d love to!
Doppo: Um … I’ve been working too hard …
Jakurai (Ramuda): Ah! You too, did you wanna come for dinner too? Oh, and you over there, how about you?
Young woman: Y-yes! I’d love to!
Doppo: Um … I’ve been working too hard …
Jakurai (Ramuda): Ah! You too, did you wanna come for dinner too? Oh, and you over there, how about you?
Doppo: ((pinching his face)): Huh? That’s strange … I can’t wake up from this dream …
Hifumi: Good evening, Doppo-kun! … why are you hitting your own face?
Doppo: Uuhhh …
Hifumi: Oh! Sensei is picking up women? What on earth …
Hifumi: Good evening, Doppo-kun! … why are you hitting your own face?
Doppo: Uuhhh …
Hifumi: Oh! Sensei is picking up women? What on earth …
Doppo: Yes, Hifumi. This is a dream. Let’s wake up as soon as we can. If it’s not a dream, there’s no way to explain what we’re seeing … ah, ahahaha …
Hifumi: No, this is reality. … For now let’s go talk to sensei.
Hifumi: Sensei, what are you doing?
Hifumi: No, this is reality. … For now let’s go talk to sensei.
Hifumi: Sensei, what are you doing?
Jakurai (Ramuda): Hmmm? Oh, you’re that host, Izanami Hifumi? Hi hi ⭐︎
Hifumi: … have started behaving differently?
Jakurai (Ramuda): Kind of ⭐︎
Doppo: Se-sensei …
Jakurai (Ramuda): Oh! You’re Kannonzaka Doppo!
Hifumi: … have started behaving differently?
Jakurai (Ramuda): Kind of ⭐︎
Doppo: Se-sensei …
Jakurai (Ramuda): Oh! You’re Kannonzaka Doppo!
Doppo: Wh-what happened to you, sensei … did you eat something bad …?
Jakurai (Ramuda): Ahaha! Not at all, Doppo!
Doppo: Ah, hahaha …
Hifumi: We all ended up meeting here coincidentally. Would you like to join us for dinner?
Jakurai (Ramuda): Yes yes! Oh, just a sec!
Jakurai (Ramuda): Ahaha! Not at all, Doppo!
Doppo: Ah, hahaha …
Hifumi: We all ended up meeting here coincidentally. Would you like to join us for dinner?
Jakurai (Ramuda): Yes yes! Oh, just a sec!
Jakurai (Ramuda): Sorryyy! Something kinda came up, so let’s all go out together another time, okay⭐︎
Women: What!?
Jakurai (Ramuda): Okay! Let’s go!
Hifumi: Yes, let’s go!
Doppo: Why has he already adapted to that “sensei” …
Doppo: Sigh … seriously, what is going on…
Women: What!?
Jakurai (Ramuda): Okay! Let’s go!
Hifumi: Yes, let’s go!
Doppo: Why has he already adapted to that “sensei” …
Doppo: Sigh … seriously, what is going on…
*Chapter 5: The calm analysis stalls*
Jyuto: So, what’s next? Sama … no, Yamada Ichiro?
Samatoki (Ichiro): It’s pointless to stay here like this.
Rio: I’ll speak to you on the presumption that you’re Yamada Ichiro …
Samatoki (Ichiro): Okay.
Jyuto: So, what’s next? Sama … no, Yamada Ichiro?
Samatoki (Ichiro): It’s pointless to stay here like this.
Rio: I’ll speak to you on the presumption that you’re Yamada Ichiro …
Samatoki (Ichiro): Okay.
Rio: Your soul may have entered Samatoki’s body, but there’s no guarantee that Samatoki’s soul is in your body, correct?
Samatoki (Ichiro): …
Jyuto: That’s true … if you even believe this unbelievable situation.
Samatoki (Ichiro): You’re right ….
Samatoki (Ichiro): …
Jyuto: That’s true … if you even believe this unbelievable situation.
Samatoki (Ichiro): You’re right ….
Samatoki (Ichiro): … thinking won’t get things moving. I’ll think after I go meet myself. We can go on from there.
Jyuto: Indeed … in that case, I’ll join you.
Rio: I’ll go as well.
Samatoki (Ichiro): You’ll help me?
Jyuto: Indeed … in that case, I’ll join you.
Rio: I’ll go as well.
Samatoki (Ichiro): You’ll help me?
Jyuto: Samatoki is a handful, but he’s still our leader. I just can’t think straight with things like this.
Rio: Yes. Samatoki is unruly, but he’s an important comrade to us. And you have comrades as well, don’t you?
Ichiro (Samatoki): Ha … thank you.
Rio: Yes. Samatoki is unruly, but he’s an important comrade to us. And you have comrades as well, don’t you?
Ichiro (Samatoki): Ha … thank you.
Gang member: E-excuse me. Boss …
Samatoki (Ichiro): You’re totally beat up! … what happened?
Gang member: Well … there’s a guy here claiming to be you … and he went berserk …
Samatoki (Ichiro), Jyuto, Rio: !
Ichiro (Samatoki): Let him in.
Samatoki (Ichiro): You’re totally beat up! … what happened?
Gang member: Well … there’s a guy here claiming to be you … and he went berserk …
Samatoki (Ichiro), Jyuto, Rio: !
Ichiro (Samatoki): Let him in.
???: Hey!! Don’t get in my way, you assholes! I’m telling you I’m the one and only Samatoki!
Samatoki (Ichiro): This voice …
Ichiro (Samatoki): Ah!! There I am!
Samatoki (Ichiro): Jiro! Saburo!
Jiro: Huh … nii… chan?
Samatoki (Ichiro): This voice …
Ichiro (Samatoki): Ah!! There I am!
Samatoki (Ichiro): Jiro! Saburo!
Jiro: Huh … nii… chan?
Saburo: Aohitsugi Samatoki would never call our names like that …
Ichiro (Samatoki): Are you Ichiro?
Samatoki (Ichiro): Yeah, I am …
Jyuto: They’re doing the same thing they usually do, but their personalities are completely the opposite …
Rio: This is confusing …
Ichiro (Samatoki): Are you Ichiro?
Samatoki (Ichiro): Yeah, I am …
Jyuto: They’re doing the same thing they usually do, but their personalities are completely the opposite …
Rio: This is confusing …
Jiro: I-is niichan really inside that guy?
Saburo: … it’s hard to believe even when you see it.
Ichiro (Samatoki): You fucking asshole, what the hell is this?
Samatoki (Ichiro): Huh!? How am I supposed to know that!
Ichiro (Samatoki): Hurry up and reverse it!
Saburo: … it’s hard to believe even when you see it.
Ichiro (Samatoki): You fucking asshole, what the hell is this?
Samatoki (Ichiro): Huh!? How am I supposed to know that!
Ichiro (Samatoki): Hurry up and reverse it!
Samatoki (Ichiro): Don’t fuck around!
Jiro: K-Knock it off, Niichan!
Saburo: Ichinii, let’s calm down!
Jyuto: Don’t start pointless fights.
Rio: Samatoki, just think for a moment. You know there’s no purpose in fighting.
Ichiro, Samatoki: Dumbass!! I’m Ichiro / Samatoki!
Jiro: K-Knock it off, Niichan!
Saburo: Ichinii, let’s calm down!
Jyuto: Don’t start pointless fights.
Rio: Samatoki, just think for a moment. You know there’s no purpose in fighting.
Ichiro, Samatoki: Dumbass!! I’m Ichiro / Samatoki!
*Chapter 6: Behavior that doesn’t match appearances*
Jakurai (Ramuda): Ahahaha! Hifumi, you’re a totally different person with your jacket off.
Hifumi: That’s right! Oh hey, if you’re Amemura Ramuda on the inside, we don’t need to speak formally, right?
Jakurai (Ramuda): Ahahaha! Hifumi, you’re a totally different person with your jacket off.
Hifumi: That’s right! Oh hey, if you’re Amemura Ramuda on the inside, we don’t need to speak formally, right?
Jakurai (Ramuda): Nope, not at all!
Dopo: Um, excuse me … two beers, and … sensei, what would you like to drink?
Jakurai (Ramuda): Hmm … I’ll have a beer too!
Hifumi, Doppo: !?
Jakurai (Ramuda): Hmm? What’s up with you two?
Dopo: Um, excuse me … two beers, and … sensei, what would you like to drink?
Jakurai (Ramuda): Hmm … I’ll have a beer too!
Hifumi, Doppo: !?
Jakurai (Ramuda): Hmm? What’s up with you two?
Doppo: I-it’s nothing … sensei … a beer … you’re … joking, right?
Jakurai (Ramuda): Huh? Why? I wouldn’t tell jokes about this? I want a beer!
Doppo: …
Hifumi: …
Restaurant staff: Here you go, three beers!
Jakurai (Ramuda): Ooh, they’re here! They’re here⭐︎!
Jakurai (Ramuda): Huh? Why? I wouldn’t tell jokes about this? I want a beer!
Doppo: …
Hifumi: …
Restaurant staff: Here you go, three beers!
Jakurai (Ramuda): Ooh, they’re here! They’re here⭐︎!
Hifumi: …
Doppo: Hey … where are you going?
Hifumi: N-Nowhere … just to the bathroom …
Doppo: You’re gonna leave me here alone with sensei when he’s drunk!
Doppo: Hey … where are you going?
Hifumi: N-Nowhere … just to the bathroom …
Doppo: You’re gonna leave me here alone with sensei when he’s drunk!
Hifumi: Ah, ahaha … there’s no way I’d abandon my best friend and leave … and if he’s really Amemura Ramuda on the inside, he might not lose his mind like he always does ….
Doppo: You’re looking at it positively …
Doppo: You’re looking at it positively …
Jakurai (Ramuda): Okay then, C⭐︎H⭐︎E⭐︎E⭐︎R⭐︎S⭐︎
Hifumi, Doppo: Ch-cheers …
(Scene change)
Jakurai (Ramuda): Ahaha! The woooorld is spinniiiing ⭐︎
Doppo: …
Hifumi: …
Doppo: H-Hey … sensei drank, but he’s totally normal, just drunk …
Hifumi, Doppo: Ch-cheers …
(Scene change)
Jakurai (Ramuda): Ahaha! The woooorld is spinniiiing ⭐︎
Doppo: …
Hifumi: …
Doppo: H-Hey … sensei drank, but he’s totally normal, just drunk …
Hifumi: Yeah … looks like …
Doppo: Um … sensei …
Jakurai (Ramuda): I - Told - You! I’m not Jakurai, I’m Ramuda-chan⭐︎
Hifumi: This is real …?
Doppo: That’s impossible …
???: Ah! There’s Jinguji Jakurai!
Jakurai (Ramuda): Oh, Gentaro, Dice, hi hi!
Doppo: Um … sensei …
Jakurai (Ramuda): I - Told - You! I’m not Jakurai, I’m Ramuda-chan⭐︎
Hifumi: This is real …?
Doppo: That’s impossible …
???: Ah! There’s Jinguji Jakurai!
Jakurai (Ramuda): Oh, Gentaro, Dice, hi hi!
Gentaro: This is …
Dice: Are you serious … they actually switched bodies …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Amemura-kun, yes?
Jakurai (Ramuda): That’s right!
Ramuda (Jakurai): …
Dice: Uh, it’s kinda painful watching Jinguji Jakurai acting bubbly like Ramuda …
Dice: Are you serious … they actually switched bodies …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Amemura-kun, yes?
Jakurai (Ramuda): That’s right!
Ramuda (Jakurai): …
Dice: Uh, it’s kinda painful watching Jinguji Jakurai acting bubbly like Ramuda …
Gentaro: Indeed …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Amemura-kun …
Jakurai (Ramuda): Ahaha, what is it? Ja-ku-rai?
Ramuda (Jakurai): … are you enjoying this?
Ramuda (Jakurai): Amemura-kun …
Jakurai (Ramuda): Ahaha, what is it? Ja-ku-rai?
Ramuda (Jakurai): … are you enjoying this?
Jakurai (Ramuda): Totally yes of course ⭐︎ Something like this only happens once in a lifetime, yeah?? Gotta enjoy it while you can!
Ramuda (Jakurai): Please don’t forget that you’re inside my body …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Please don’t forget that you’re inside my body …
Jakurai (Ramuda): Ahaha! But that’s why ⭐︎? Can’t wait to see what people think of you now after we’re back in our own bodies.
Ramuda (Jakurai): I don’t find that funny.
Jakurai (Ramuda): I think it’s HILARIOUS.
Ramuda (Jakurai): I don’t find that funny.
Jakurai (Ramuda): I think it’s HILARIOUS.
Hifumi: Whoa, this is gonna make me lose my mind …
Doppo: Amemura Ramuda is inside of sensei, and Sensei is inside of Amemura Ramuda … if this is a dream I wanna wake up …
Hifumi: If this is a dream, it’s definitely a nightmare.
Doppo: Amemura Ramuda is inside of sensei, and Sensei is inside of Amemura Ramuda … if this is a dream I wanna wake up …
Hifumi: If this is a dream, it’s definitely a nightmare.
(Telephone rings)
Ramuda (Jakurai): Hello?
Samatoki (Ichiro): Hello, is this Ramuda?
Ramuda (Jakurai): No, you may not believe this, but I’m …
Jakurai (Ramuda): It’s me, I’m Ramuda!
Ramuda (Jakurai): Hello?
Samatoki (Ichiro): Hello, is this Ramuda?
Ramuda (Jakurai): No, you may not believe this, but I’m …
Jakurai (Ramuda): It’s me, I’m Ramuda!
Ichiro (Samatoki): I knew it …
Samatoki (Ichiro): So it wasn’t just the two of us who traded bodies …
Samatoki (Ichiro): So it wasn’t just the two of us who traded bodies …
*Chapter 7: Thinking of reasons why*
Ramuda (Jakurai): Here you go.
Samatoki (Ichiro): Thank you very much.
Ichiro (Samatoki): Thanks.
Jakurai (Ramuda): The tea leaves are great, but the person who made the tea is so uncool it turned out gross.
Ramuda (Jakurai): Here you go.
Samatoki (Ichiro): Thank you very much.
Ichiro (Samatoki): Thanks.
Jakurai (Ramuda): The tea leaves are great, but the person who made the tea is so uncool it turned out gross.
Samatoki (Ichiro): Jakurai, Ramuda went to the trouble of making tea …
Ichiro (Samatoki): Dumbass, Sensei’s over there, you’re talking to Ramuda.
Samatoki (Ichiro): … this is way too confusing …
Ichiro (Samatoki): Dumbass, Sensei’s over there, you’re talking to Ramuda.
Samatoki (Ichiro): … this is way too confusing …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Let’s recap what’s happened. First of all, I’m inside of Amemura-kun, and Ichiro is inside of Samatoki.
Ramuda (Jakurai): Samatoki is inside of Ichiro, and Amemura-kun is inside of me … is this correct?
Ichiro (Samatoki): Yeah.
Ramuda (Jakurai): Samatoki is inside of Ichiro, and Amemura-kun is inside of me … is this correct?
Ichiro (Samatoki): Yeah.
Samatoki (Ichiro): That’s right.
Jakurai (Ramuda): Yep yep! You’re right!
Jakurai (Ramuda): So why did something as incredible as this happen … does anyone have any idea?
Ichiro (Samatoki): Nope.
Samatoki (Ichiro): No.
Jakurai (Ramuda): No clue?
Jakurai (Ramuda): Yep yep! You’re right!
Jakurai (Ramuda): So why did something as incredible as this happen … does anyone have any idea?
Ichiro (Samatoki): Nope.
Samatoki (Ichiro): No.
Jakurai (Ramuda): No clue?
Ramuda (Jakurai): Neither do I. However, there’s always a reason for things. In order to solve this, we’ll need to figure out the reason behind it.
Samatoki (Ichiro): You’re right …
Samatoki (Ichiro): You’re right …
Ichiro (Samatoki): You’re right, but … hearing that come from Ramuda’s mouth kinda takes the tension out of the situation …
Samatoki (Ichiro): It’s like when you stare at something for too long and it suddenly loses it’s entire meaning, but with Ramuda …
Samatoki (Ichiro): It’s like when you stare at something for too long and it suddenly loses it’s entire meaning, but with Ramuda …
Ramuda (Jakurai): I apologize. I understand that as well. I suppose Amemura-kun doesn’t usually have such a serious expression, the moment I relax I feel my face starting to grin …
Jakurai (Ramuda): Hey! Aren’t you guys being mean? You’re making me out to be just some idiot!
Jakurai (Ramuda): Hey! Aren’t you guys being mean? You’re making me out to be just some idiot!
Ichiro (Samatoki): Even if you pose like that, when it’s sensei’s face …
Samatoki (Ichiro): This is too painful …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Ugh … i-if we don’t get back to normal as soon as possible … I feel like I might mentally collapse …
Samatoki (Ichiro): This is too painful …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Ugh … i-if we don’t get back to normal as soon as possible … I feel like I might mentally collapse …
Jakurai (Ramuda): Ahaha! Amemura-kun? You seem unwell! This quack doctor Jinguji Jakurai will examine you!
Ramuda (Jakurai): …
Jakurai (Ramuda): Ooh? Amemura-kun? Why are you making that face? Do you have a problem with this genius quack doctor Jinguji Jakurai???
Ramuda (Jakurai): …
Jakurai (Ramuda): Ooh? Amemura-kun? Why are you making that face? Do you have a problem with this genius quack doctor Jinguji Jakurai???
Samatoki (Ichiro): Jakurai, please hold yourself back …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Im sorry, Ichiro …
Ichiro (Samatoki): Knock it off!
Jakurai (Ramuda): Ow! Samatoki hit me!
Samatoki (Ichiro): Ugh … this is exhausting.
Ramuda (Jakurai): Im sorry, Ichiro …
Ichiro (Samatoki): Knock it off!
Jakurai (Ramuda): Ow! Samatoki hit me!
Samatoki (Ichiro): Ugh … this is exhausting.
Ramuda (Jakurai): Let’s get back on topic. I can think of one possibility for this happening … indeed, I think it’s the only possibility.
Samatoki (Ichiro): What is it?
Ramuda (Jakurai): It’s …
Samatoki (Ichiro): What is it?
Ramuda (Jakurai): It’s …
*Chapter 8: This is only just the beginning*
Ramuda (Jakurai): Let’s get back on topic. I can think of one possibility for this happening … indeed, I think it’s the only possibility.
Samatoki (Ichiro): What is it?
Ramuda (Jakurai): It’s … Chuo-ku.
Ramuda (Jakurai): Let’s get back on topic. I can think of one possibility for this happening … indeed, I think it’s the only possibility.
Samatoki (Ichiro): What is it?
Ramuda (Jakurai): It’s … Chuo-ku.
Ramuda, Ichiro, Samatoki: !
Ichiro (Samatoki): You’re right, it’s highly possible that they could do something like this.
Samatoki (Ichiro): But … for what reason? I don’t get why …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Indeed …
(Phone rings)
Ichiro (Samatoki): You’re right, it’s highly possible that they could do something like this.
Samatoki (Ichiro): But … for what reason? I don’t get why …
Ramuda (Jakurai): Indeed …
(Phone rings)
Ichiro (Samatoki): Huh? An unlisted number?
Ichiro (Samatoki): Hello …?
Ichijiku: This is Kadenokoji Ichijiku.
Ichiro (Samatoki): !?
Ramuda, Ichiro, Jakurai: !
Ichiro (Samatoki): Kadenokoji Ichijiku!?
Ichijiku: Aohitsugi Samatoki, right?
Ichiro (Samatoki): Hello …?
Ichijiku: This is Kadenokoji Ichijiku.
Ichiro (Samatoki): !?
Ramuda, Ichiro, Jakurai: !
Ichiro (Samatoki): Kadenokoji Ichijiku!?
Ichijiku: Aohitsugi Samatoki, right?
Ichiro (Samatoki): So it WAS you guys …
Ichijiku: So what if it was?
Ichiro (Samatoki): I’ll destroy you!
Ichijiku: Silence, you inferior man! Do you want to stay like that forever?
Ichiro (Samatoki): Ugh …
Ramuda (Jakurai): What is all of this?
Ichijiku: So what if it was?
Ichiro (Samatoki): I’ll destroy you!
Ichijiku: Silence, you inferior man! Do you want to stay like that forever?
Ichiro (Samatoki): Ugh …
Ramuda (Jakurai): What is all of this?
Jakurai (Ramuda): Yeah!! Why are you doing this??
Ichijiku: Heheh … this is only the beginning …
Samatoki (Ichiro): Huh? What does that mean?
Ichijiku: From here, we …
(Scene change)
Ichijiku: Heheh … this is only the beginning …
Samatoki (Ichiro): Huh? What does that mean?
Ichijiku: From here, we …
(Scene change)
Gentaro: Anyways, I was thinking of that sort of story, how was it?
Dice: You … is your head okay?
Gentaro: Oh dear, someone who already has a few screws loose has worried about the state of my mind.
Dice: You … is your head okay?
Gentaro: Oh dear, someone who already has a few screws loose has worried about the state of my mind.
Dice: No no! That story you just told is too crazy and I don’t get it at all! Switching bodies and stuff!
Gentaro: There are plenty of creative works involving body swaps?
Dice: Plus the ending was half-assed …
Gentaro: Well, I haven’t thought it through past this.
Gentaro: There are plenty of creative works involving body swaps?
Dice: Plus the ending was half-assed …
Gentaro: Well, I haven’t thought it through past this.
Dice: You didn’t think it through!? … Why did you even think of this story anyways?
Gentaro: Actually, I’ve been asked to write a light novel, and it just came to me after that.
Dice: I don’t really get it …
Gentaro: Actually, I’ve been asked to write a light novel, and it just came to me after that.
Dice: I don’t really get it …
Gentaro: Well, I thought of it, so I just wanted to tell the story to someone. I don’t need any feedback.
Dice: … if you’re gonna write something, write something good about me … like me winning big at the slot machines!
Dice: … if you’re gonna write something, write something good about me … like me winning big at the slot machines!
Gentaro: … I don’t know what you mean by “winning big,” but even if I wrote that nobody would be happy.
Dice: I would be happy!
Dice: I would be happy!
Gentaro: Well, leaving that one as it is, I’ve thought of another story, would you mind listening to it?
Dice: You have more …?
Gentaro: The next story is, The Dirty Dawg time travels and saves the world.
(The end)
Dice: You have more …?
Gentaro: The next story is, The Dirty Dawg time travels and saves the world.
(The end)
Thank you for reading!! And apologies for the typos, I found a few after I tweeted and it was too late to delete / reorganize … please forgive m(_ _)m Let’s all look forward to the “Fantasy Time Travel: The Dirty Dawg Save the World” event the next time ARB needs more money.
