There’s a strong chance you could date or sleep with someone who was raised in purity culture even if you were not. Here are some things to know:

They aren’t freaks or broken, but they’re likely to experience sexual shame at levels you do not. Be mindful of that as they work through it and don’t take it personally. It’s not about you.

A lot of folks raised in purity culture are deeply embarrassed about their lack of sexual experience. Not being experienced is really no big deal. Don’t make it weird for them if that’s their situation.

They’re not prudes or weirdos. They didn’t choose this ideology. They were harmed by systems aimed at controlling and dulling their full range of human sexual expression. That takes time to undo esp for women and queer ppl. Don’t stigmatize them.

Support their quest for sex ed knowledge- chances are they didn’t have any real sex ed. Maybe you didn’t either! Learn together. Check out books, articles, and online classes together.

The harm of purity culture can cause trauma that looks like symptoms of childhood sexual abuse. Be a TRAUMA INFORMED PARTNER. Stop or slow down if they need to. Educate yourself on their experience.

You can have hot great sex with people raised in purity culture - maybe even better sex because these folks have fought hard for their pleasure and sexual agency and they think intentionally about their experience of sexuality!

Basically all these things apply when you want to be a good partner to ANYONE regardless of their history. Consent & communication are key, listen, respect their boundaries, be mindful of trauma, & work to co-create a mutually pleasurable experience.