Anyway. The next time I write a modern wangxian AU, there will be a subplot where LQR is newly retired.

And he's just...driving his nephews completely crazy.

He calls LXC seven times in a row, but doesn't leave a single voicemail.

LXC sees the calls and he rushes to call his uncle back, terrified that there's an emergency.

What ELSE could have prompted so many consecutive calls???

But when he finally gets ahold of his uncle, LQR is just like, "I wanted to let you know that the supermarket has mangoes on sale. "

The next day, he calls LWJ.

LQR: Do you remember Maureen Larson?

LWJ: No.

LQR: The woman who lived next door to us when you were seven years old. She was a tax accountant.

LWJ: ...No. I do not remember her

LQR: Well, I just found out she died.

[long silence]

LWJ: ...Uncle. I am at WORK.

LWJ and LXC wind up desperately searching for activities for their uncle, to help fill up his time.

Does he want to join a book club? Maybe a birdwatching group?? He could take watercolor lessons???

It's a terrible role reversal.

Years ago, it was LXC and LQR trying to force LWJ to socialize.

Now LWJ is dragging his uncle around town, pointing to groups of senior citizens, saying things like, "Look! They seem nice. Maybe they would like to be friends. Why don't you go up to them and say hello?"

LWJ and LXC are appealing to their own friends, too.

Does anyone know a nice widow in her late 60s or early 70s? A woman who enjoys bland food, silent walks around the garden, and never ever leaving wet towels on the wood floors under any circumstances?

Please help. We think it's finally time for Uncle to get married.

"Hey, cicer, are you just subtweeting your parents right now?!"

...