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So I agreed to this.
Update: I’m in. This is gonna be ridiculous.
I will not rest until I see this slide.
Hereeeee we go.
Also it sounds like I’m the only dude who recommended a spot? Guess the girls were having to organize for the dudes. Picked a jazz club that recently opened back up because good god, do I miss live music.
And no, there will be no live tweeting - who uses their phone on a date?
And no, there will be no live tweeting - who uses their phone on a date?
(I think it'd be devious fun if that was my last tweet ever. Just never again posted anything to this account.)
Wanna do the night justice, so I’m writing it all up meticulously. Got to hear about the vetting process, how the guys were presented, how she picked - will share tonight
ALRIGHTY.
So let's talk about the whole Bumble Bachelor process first. She gave me the rundown of the whole thing her friends went through.
Here's that original message that started this ridiculousness.
So let's talk about the whole Bumble Bachelor process first. She gave me the rundown of the whole thing her friends went through.
Here's that original message that started this ridiculousness.
When I agreed to be part of it, her friends asked me a few questions in Bumble - I tried to give dating-show-style answers that were still accurate.
So they had that + my Bumble to make a slide about me. Apparently they didn’t social creep me, either!
So they had that + my Bumble to make a slide about me. Apparently they didn’t social creep me, either!
Here, you can roast my Bumble while we’re here.
Dumb thing I did to entertain myself: the lightsaber & kids ride pics are angled to look at each other
Dumb thing I did to entertain myself: the lightsaber & kids ride pics are angled to look at each other
And because I’d never spoken to my date, I realized I didn’t know anything about besides her Bumble. I had her pics, plus these 3 prompts, which her friends answered.
I don’t social creep before dates, but this was easily the least I knew about a date... ever?
I don’t social creep before dates, but this was easily the least I knew about a date... ever?
The silly genesis of the whole thing: she told friends that instead of going ham for her birthday, she wanted a chill, drink-at-home-with-girls-night, with a POWERPOINT PARTY.
Yes, powerpoint parties are a thing https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/ryanhatesthis/people-are-loving-these-photos-from-a-party-where-every
Yes, powerpoint parties are a thing https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/ryanhatesthis/people-are-loving-these-photos-from-a-party-where-every
She thought they'd all just make silly decks & presentations, but two of her friends got the idea of the Bumble Bachelor thing, so they made her the profile I matched with. They chatted w/ me + other guys & put us all in a deck for her to pick from.
Apparently the Deck Of Dudes was hysterical. Fake data modeling, predictive analytics, and all sortsa silliness about each guy (they work in finance).
I didn't catch how many men were in the deck or how many she picked to date, but think she mentioned I was the first?
I didn't catch how many men were in the deck or how many she picked to date, but think she mentioned I was the first?
I asked about my slide. Apparently it had pics from my Bumble, some of their thoughts on me, & some fun facts. Primary points: he works in creative strategy (she's a data strategist), he's an overanalyzer, and "he's very tall. Like very very tall. Like a tree.” since she’s 5’3”
16/ I tried to get the deck. I really did. My date doesn’t even have a copy - they wanted to make sure she couldn’t talk to us or figure out who we were prior to the date.
Okay, so there’s a bunch of info on the Bachelor game they made for her.
NOW THE DATE.
Picked Flatiron room. Figured it’s her birthday, more fun than drinks was appropriate. Two piece jazz act, unreal cocktails & food. Highly recommend. Turned out she’d been before & loved it.
NOW THE DATE.
Picked Flatiron room. Figured it’s her birthday, more fun than drinks was appropriate. Two piece jazz act, unreal cocktails & food. Highly recommend. Turned out she’d been before & loved it.
Realized on the walk over I didn't even have her number - her friends reallyyy didn't want us talking or creeping each other prior, so we weren't allowed to connect. Hell, I didn't even know her friend's name.
Definitely had a "oh, this could ALL BE FAKE" moment processing that.
Definitely had a "oh, this could ALL BE FAKE" moment processing that.
I figured this would all be a good story. Knew she was attractive, figured she must be at least a little fun to go along with her friend's crazy plans? Me being newish & needing to meet more people here, I saw no downside.
Was pretty surprised by how the night went!
Was pretty surprised by how the night went!
I got there first. Some Uber issues made her 15ish minutes late, which her very-invested-friends kept me updated on to the minute. Me, getting texts from a number I don't know, 7% wondering if it's real? NERVOUS LAUGHTER BY MYSELF ON THE STREET
She hops out of a car, mask on, and much taller than I expected - she told me later her friends demanded she grab the tallest shoes from her closet & ended up putting together an outfit specifically for those 6 inch boots
Finally get inside, get our temps checked, sat at the table right next to the stage. Masks off - she's SUPER CUTE. We immediately start laughing about how we're clearly no f**ks given about 2021 to agree to this before admitting it's both our style to do something like this.
Again, I'd sorta mentally chalked this up as a funny story I'd tell people. But uh. She's awesome. We hit it off.
We didn't watch one second of the band play. Just bantered back & forth over whiskey & snacks. Turned out we were shockingly similar in a lottttt of ways.
We didn't watch one second of the band play. Just bantered back & forth over whiskey & snacks. Turned out we were shockingly similar in a lottttt of ways.
We're both creative side-project people (who never finish because we find a better idea). Both the team parent & therapist of our friend groups. Both push people to dive deeper & speak more openly about everything - how it's ridiculous people don't talk about certain subjects.
Date started at 7:30. Ended up closing out Flatiron Room around 10:00 & headed to a local dive I wanted to check out. Only people there. Ended up talking whiskey, ordered bourbons & ryes for us to taste test the differences after a debate about sweetness in whiskeys
Andddd we closed out that dive (11 pm NY curfew needs to end). Decided we weren't done & did exactly what you'd expect:
Watched old The Voice performances on YouTube with more whiskey, talked about strategies singers use to win the show, compared emo playlists & vinyl.
Watched old The Voice performances on YouTube with more whiskey, talked about strategies singers use to win the show, compared emo playlists & vinyl.
1 am conversations about Taking Back Sunday's various line-ups for the win.
We realized it had gotten FAR TOO LATE for a school night & called it. Got her number. We've texted throughout the day today. She's great. We're hanging again when I've watched 3 episodes of Schitt's Creek & she's watched 3 episodes of Dave - fair deal.
Yeah, I know you want a pic - you’re not getting one. You can have this text instead.
Moral of the story: go be weird in 2021, meet people in strange ways, be open to new things, have fun.
Moral of the story: go be weird in 2021, meet people in strange ways, be open to new things, have fun.
