I'm not dead, I'm just playing P0kem0n Insurgence.
(this is a thread header tweet so you can mute if you need to)

(and of course I'm playing the Dark story)

I !!!!won't!!!!! be marking anything as spoilers, probably. Anything about this game is a huge spoiler in itself, so if you don't want to know anything about it, simply mute the entire thread.

But I will be putting tw and cw if needed. Game about blood sacrifices need that.

Day 1, after playing 14 hours in a row (ha ha ha.. hah)

- of COURSE I took the Dragon Ghost Charizard, who do you think I am??
- computer crashed as I got my first Pikachu -- I got two afterwards
- I accidentally k!lled the Stunky;;;;;; and I haven't been saving at all... rip

- was catching Cubones until I got one with Thick Club to give to my Cubone. And now she's sO OP, holy crap. And Eric caught one with the club straight up... the LUCK of this man --
- Damian is just trying his best, don't bully him ; ;
- but really. Don't. I'll beat you up /75%j

- beating first Gym second try, because I got stupidly crit-ed several times on the first run.
- this game is ACTUALLY hard, and it's on Normal mode..... but I'm also pre~tty bad at any game, hahahaaaaa
- I've died thrice to the same Ghost trainer. I am ashamed, but also WHAT

- I was farming water types to lvl up my Pikachu to realize I need fire and ground types for the next gym -- mmmmmmmm
- Wooper can possibly be for me what Escartresse was in Uranium. Somehow in my playthroughs water ground type can be REALLY OP. That's just a note for myself

- you can catch different gen starter pkmn. The catchrate on them is AWFUL, though. I didn't get a Piplup with 1 HP left, and I threw around 15 balls at him -- got a Mudkip, though. They're everywhere in this route..
- the Pokedex is HUGE, I'm not used to that ; ;

That's about it for now?.. mind you, I've slept for 5 hours before writing this, so i might've forgotten something.
oH, I think I accidentally killed a shiny??? at some point????? But there's no shiny entry for that pkmn, so I hope I saw wrong...
Yeah. Now I eat, and we continue~

Second gym
now HOLD ON, what do you mean he has a Mega stone for Beedrill?????? Eric didn't have anything of sorts in his playthrough?????
That's SO UNFAIR

I got KOd sO fast.
Back to the grind we go~

Second try failed, too... I get swiped by the last Haunter -- that feeling when your starter isn't strong enough....

Third try, too,,,,, mAn this is actually hard x2

Now I die on Tentacruel???????
Okay, this is getting more and more sad

...oh my god.
i am so stupid.
holy crap
I made my Marowak fling away the club

I thought you get back the item when you fling it??? why is every move's description cut off in the middle??????
I am this close to rage quitting

And I literally swapped False Swipe for Fling.
Holy shit please tell me this is all a joke, a dream, and I'm sleeping ; ;

I am rage quitting for today. This is way too much mistakes to fix today.
It's soon to be 3AM anyway, and I have rough 5 days ahead..

oh you sweet summer child, go to sleep, please
you'll regret everything you're going to do https://twitter.com/copykitten__/status/1377024824892067844?s=20

Now going to fix mistakes I've made yesterday. Them being (recap):
- teaching Fling to Marowak and flinging away its club
- investing all the money into PikaTaxi, so now I can't take away my water types from caretaker man
- investing time into a watertype that can't learn Brine

// spoilers for a trade

I LAUGHED SO HARD https://clips.twitch.tv/TenderTenderFriesGivePLZ-blC0vc8b6p4dbi8W

Update on my misfortunes:
Caught two Piplups, but both aren't that great, so I'm catching more.

.........I'm going to cry.

I didn't save even once, and my computer crashed.
I- I don't know. What's wrong with everything......

IT DID IT AGAIN... I JUST GOT ANOTHER ONE, I JUST STARTED TO NAME IT

I finally saved.... and got a good piplup before the crash.
And that's my cue to turn off the stream, because my laptop is actually overheating,,,,

Yes, I immediately bought red hair dye when I saw the option. Yes, I immediately bought Cat Ears as I got enough money for them.

OKAY, got a decent Piplup, now for the next step of fixing my mistakes - grinding Cubones until I get another Thick Club

..okay, I thought I encountered one, since it was doing a lot of dmg, but apparently it has 31 ATK IV, H H H

Wait.
Does Pluck work on Thick Club, too?
hM, hold on, looking that up. Because if it does, I might be a genius

No, it's only for Berries... nevermind..

And after so many tries, I got no club.. I can't believe Eric got one first try, and I got mine on 6th iirc. It's 5% chance.
uuuuugh, I ran out of money and pokeballs, and now evolved my Piplup, too. Will have to endure the shame of flinging away an item that gives you 2x atk --

Was looking up info, now I'm spoiling myself everything sigh.. I'll still go though what I've missed.
aND I've found where I can buy one if I don't grind. And of course it's the black market --

OH MY GOD I GOT IT. On my way back through the cave, I GOT ONE CLUB.
Pheeeeew, we're bAck in action, babyy

Took me 14 pkmn and running out of pokeballs completely~~~~

// delta pkmn spoilers
Me getting the delta Aipom side quest with no pokeballs :D I got it with one of the Premier balls. P H E W
Now to get the delta Wooper... hopefully I get there in time,,,

// delta pkmn spoilers
Also, delta Aipom back sprite is SO CREEPY. 4th wall who

// delta pkmn spoilers
Wooper is so cute ; ; not a big fan of Halloween, but Mondaiji definitely raised some appreciaton for it in me

// delta pkmn spoilers
delta charizard is SO FCKN COOL-LOOKING, and I won't even START on its Mega Evo that I got spoiled with on Eric's stream. SO COOL

Finally beat the second gym, wooooo~~~

Now it's finally time to progress the story. After over 12 hours of struggle because of stupid mistakes.
We get the third piece!

// spoilers
mAn Abyssal cultists are annoying -- you don't have much grass pkmn yet. What a struggle it was... but Junk Yard cleared

I think I've wiped an entire population of Furfrou while lvling up my (already) Empoleon, hahahahah. It went from 28 to 39 so fast, because Furfrou give at least 500-600 exp, plus Ponyta and Cyndaquil one-shots.
Very nice.

I very much liked Fur Coat in Uranium, and I think I'll need to invest into my own OP Doggo.

But also, speed up is such a life-saver. I don't think I'm able to play without it on full max now,,,,,

I also don't know what to do about my Kirlina.. since it's male, I apparently can evolve it into an atk user instead of s.atk user........ but I need a dawn stone for that, and I'll get it oh so not soon.......... will have to shelf my boy for now :(

// delta pkmn spoilers
uhhhh, so
- have a Serperior
- already reached the desert
- got the cockatrice (delta Pidgey)
- Sky Cult :D

Got as in, I'm grinding for good IVs, and all I can do is Confuse ray it, and hope I get it first ball

oH, 31 IVs for atk and def, not bad, not bad. Moving on back to progressing the story ~

...I am going to commit crimes.
Somehow the game decided to replace Dragon Breath with Dragon Dance, and not Snarl that I wanted to get rid of

And I saved right after it, too.
I am going to commit C R I M E S

I don't know why I am surprised. It's April Fools Day, and I'm just being a clown that I am.
...and again, and again, and again, fixing stupid mistakes every next day

:0 I won a lottery the first day??? WOW, that's.. actually lucky

...um.
Okay, let's at least update this thread.

Back on Apr 1, I already got to Helios City, and called it a day.
Then, next day (?) I grinded up my Pokemon a bit, and went to the Black market, and it has the BEST music so far.
Got my Mega Evo, and it's so S I C K , really.
And called it a day.

// story spoilers
Then another day (was it yesterday?... time whO), I grinded my Delta ice pkmn, and then went through Jade Tower and Sky Cultists. And got to know that our dearest 2nd Augur is the leader (who'd known --).
..no, seriously, while it was pretty obvious-

// story spoilers
-it still was a bit surprising that he's a Cultist himself. I just thought he wasn't a man of pure interests.
sO, he kills East (Sky Gym leader) after he failed to beat me, because Jaern is a douchebag who really thought someone who apparently previously beat-

// story spoilers
-him and almost ruined his plan wouldn't be able to beat a Gym. Like, either Jaern really had a lot of faith in East (which is definitely not the case, as he sacrificed him sO fast), or he's just so self-centered he doesn't believe he needs anyone by his side.

// story spoilers
N E WAY, it's just me seeing East for 1 second and going "I've known him for 1 second, and if something happens to him, I'm k1lling everyone in this room AND myself", just to end up being the reason he dies. Just- LMAO.

N E WAY, after panicking about Cave of Steam, I pass through it very fast, reaching Utira, and the library in it.
Now, after grinding for a bit to lvl up my Charizard, and-

// story spoilers
-beating the prophet, and getting the prophecy, I'm actually curious.
It states that there's a hero chosen by a legendary pkmn (us three - me, Damian, and Nora), and that after defeating every cult, they're going to betray everyone and join the Infernal cult.

// story spoilers + some thinking out loud
nOW, so far, we have:
1) Damian
A lone adopted boy who was just given his first pkmn, and got chosen by Shaymin. Would join a cult if.. someone says it has its true parents/family?.. or out of spite on me and Nora for leaving him behind?

2) Nora
A girl chosen by Celebi, decided to go on adventure only after meeting with me. After bumping into her and Damian near library, after talking about Jaern being a cult leader, curses with "Oh my Jaern". Like, ????? girl?? There's something you aren't saying, isn't there?

3) me
The most fricking bad-ass character based on what cultists say about me before I've lost my memory. Messed with Jaern, messed with Audrey, who else did I cross before??? Also, chosen by Mew. Like, oooOOOOH, who AM I?

N E WAY, yeah. I'm now at the point where I'll have to fight Audrey. Probably marking me defeating all the Abyssal Cult for good?..

A SHINY

I FUCKING.
KIlled it

I am going to scream.
So apparently I WAS right back then, and I DID encounter a shiny Ralts when grinding before.
And I killed both of them. Completely accidentally
* s c r e a m s *

Upsettio spaghettio
I want spaghetti. But I also want kimbap, again

okAY, that didn't deal with Abyssal Cult, and now they have Lugia :D cool, cool
I almost swiped Audrey with my delta Gardevoir, though, hhhhh

Reached Sonata, stole everything I could from the hospital, and now I'm going to sleep, because I have math to teach in.. 11 hours.
he :D

I do NOT remember wth I am supposed to teach ,y student,,,,

Me and math is Eric streaming right now. He was supposed to be playing pkmn insurgence, but got asked if he knew all the US states, and where he is now? Finishing "all flags quiz", after going through an entire world of countries to guess.

Update - after beating an entire Gym of trainers 9without the leader), my computer crashed. And yes, I forgot to save in-between battles~

I got the Chatot!! finally..
The moment I heard its cry I fell in love, it's SO CUTE

I've decided. I'm gathering 6 Chatots, and calling them notes, and making them Round till infinity, and win.. something, idk. I just want to have do-re-mi-fa-sol-la-si.
..but it's 6, not 7..... hm. I'll work on that

aggressive cuteness intensifies

I am giving them Metronomes, and they're going to Echo everyone to insanity. :D

Another team I want to make is Cool Dogs (tm), containing all ridiculously realistic big dogs this game has.
Sadly, so far I have seen only two or so cats, and all of them are magical in a way..

..are you kidding me. I got three Thunder Stones from Pokepon (or how is it) machine --

Normal-Fairy gym leader time, see you on the other side (hell)

// major Harmony Sonata City gym spoilers

A MEGA WHO?????? A MEGA MILTANK????? L M A O

Not @ how it's swiping my team, WHAT TYPES ARE YOU, BEAST

Harmony-me
1:0
Last thing I'd expect is a Miltank. I've only met ONE so far, this is the second one, and it has a Mega??? unfair

Okay, I won, but I kinda want to redo the fight, because a lOt of the KOs could've been easily avoided if I wasn't stuuuupid

I did even worse now, LOL
Redo, redo

mAN, don't ever redo things. Don't.

// gym spoilers

I hate this Cinccino with passion, hOLY- all its moves are making me flinch, and it also has Knock-off to annoy me sometimes

fINALLY, this took forever.. these leaders have actually fun battles

I HATE SONATA HOSPITAL, EVERYONE HATES SONATA HOSPITAL, the music is so creepy now, S T O P

// story spoilers
"Seriously? He's in a room full of cultists, and he's afraid of needles?"
That's why I love Damian, he's just a good boy hhhh needles are scary

// story spoilers
aaand we have a half-human mutant, g r e a t

// story spoilers
"DID THE NEEDLE GO IN OKAY??"
DAMIAN, NOT NOW, there's a fricking half-pkmn half-human monster with altered mind that's basically a bomb ready to explode at any moment now

Now, give Damian back. right. now

I spoiled myself this a bit, because I was watching Eric play, but still. Give the boy back.. please :(

Now I got a Mega evo stone from the Pokepo0n machine, wut. Cool
I just want to change nature.... sigh

Evolved Apple, my now Raichu. Let's take on the Abyssal Cult now >:D

I just swapped my Delta Charizard's Mega evo stone for Lucky Egg to grind up a bit, and the first trainer I encounter is a Dragon-tamer.

..I will do the Abyssal Cult later, still have to sleep, still human, sadly..
I am absolutely so interested in this game. It's so fun.... like, actually fun. There's literally no other word to describe it in my brain right now. Too sleepy?..

Me: time to slee-
Eric: PKMN BL00D SACRIFICE C U LT LEADER DE4TH GAME
Me: -nevermind

I'm still clearing the Abyssal Cult headquarters, just grinding. That's, like, an update

....I just thought of the worst thing. I'll tell it when the twist happens (aka after I beat Audrey)

// Abyssal Cult headquarters spoiler

HOLD ON, Eric's Audrey's Kyogre didn't transform??? This form is sO COOL??????? I am sO DEAD?????

yESS, I beat Audrey without taking much damage!!! (as my Raichu barely survived Kyogre's attack with 6HP)
nOw, for the story

// major story spoilers (what on this thread isn't, really)

Revealing that Damian is Audrey's son, and seeing Damian corrupted by Pokerus, is so sad.
And then you have the old man command him to take the crystal, releasing Kyogre, who then proceeds to drown her.