As a historian of sex & Christianity, lemme say that people mad at @LilNasX for giving Satan a lap dance in a music video should read literally any medieval theologian, bc they all wanted to marry Christ & have sex with him. Really.

Thread with receipts below!

"Let us have intercourse with him with whom marriage is virginity" -- 5th-century Bishop Paulinus of Nora, to his friend Severus.

Bishop Paulinus went on to explain that he really wanted to lick Christ's feet and to "trust [his] head beneath His holy soles" to lick them clean.

Then Paulinus wanted to slowly kiss up Christ up the length of his body, until they got to mouth kisses.

St. Jerome, the translator of the Bible into Latin, wrote to a friend, urging him to seek Christ in his bed and to offer Christ his breasts to "suck."

Jerome notes that Christ's "inward parts" are bright as gold.

John Chrysostom urged his young fellow monk Theodore not to abandon his vows for a woman, bc Theodore was already married to Jesus and that would be adultery

Bishop Gregory of Nyssa offered advice to a young man who wishes to pursue a spiritual marriage with Jesus. He said it's the same as courting any lover: displaying your youth, attractions, (spiritual) riches, and good family (of good works).

Gregory also said marriage to Christ is not confined to women, because gender is an illusion.

St. Francis of Assisi was rumored to have said that, if confronted with a vision of Christ, you should test whether it's really Christ by offering to shit in his mouth.

Satan will run away, but Christ is open to it.

(from the 14th-century *Little Flowers of St. Francis*)

Anyway, as Dr. MRO, a literal expert on Satan and Catholicism, says here, @LilNasX's new video is brilliant, packed with references to the classics, and revolutionary: https://twitter.com/ISASaxonists/status/1376471546194227201