aight, i'm starting it here. I'm excited, I've literally never done one of these before ever (dont ask me what homestuck is, i dont know what that is).

basically im starting with the "second genesis" arc which starts around issue #94 of Uncanny X-Men. https://twitter.com/druidmask/status/1374921747259125761

I've been reading for a while, so i'll do a quick summary. basically what happens is most of the original X-Men retire off the team (Beast joins the avengers, Jean Grey moves to NYC to cosplay as Mary Tyler Moore, Iceman and Angel fuck off into obscurity because they're lame)

i kinda like Beast. i get his whole thing is he's smart but he looks dangerous, its a little cliche but still. there's this scene from the 90s cartoon where he's in jail reading Animal Farm and the guards are making fun of him cuz they think the book is just about animals

i cant imagine the thrill you would get out of this if you were a pseudo-intellectual in the 90s who was also watching the X-Men cartoon for some reason.

i can, however, imagine the thrill you would get if you were a pseudo-intellectual in the 2020s doing that (cuz i do that)

god he looks so fucking stupid. he's just big and blue. im gonna get made of so hard for doing this.

SIDENOTE: i kinda skimmed the movies so most of what I know about Xmen comes from the 90s cartoon. i binged most of it in 7th grade (shoutout mr ku for the recommendation)

beast spends most of the 1st season of the show in jail (even though he's fully capable of breaking out) cuz he's hoping his trial will be able to get mutants more rights. its interesting! magneto breaks into his cell and says he's not radical enough. Sad!

i'll try not to get too sidetracked by the cartoon, but it is so cool. will say this though. the opening theme went HARD. they dont make TV like this anymore. if you showed this 1 minute clip to a marvel movie director their brain would drip out their nose

before i stop talking about the old team i want to talk a moment to slander Angel.
he's stupid. his whole deal is that he's rich and nice, but then turns emo and gets metal feathers.
its dumb. if metal birds were real we would have discovered some by now

so yea, all the X-Men leave except for Professor X and Cyclops so Prof X recruits THE NEW XMEN.

ignore jean grey, angel and Havok. im gonna be honest i dont even remember why Havok is in this scene.

also why does Xavier look fucking terrifying?? that face haunts my dreams

you got Storm (cool), Wolferine (he has forks for hands, remember that, it comes up a lot), Nightcrawler (sexy), and Colossus

Here's literally everything you need to know about Colossus:

#1: He has metal skin.

#2: He grew up in a commune in the USSR.

#3: He says "praise Lenin" a lot (refer to #2).

#4: hes nice :)

These four facts make up the entirety of his character

OH also Thunderbird's on the team. i swear, this team starts with 3 dudes with "vague strength" powers.

He dies after like 2 issues. :( sorry buddy but the whole point of a token minority is that there's only one of them and Storm also checks the woman box off so....

fucked that the trend of introducing shitty portrayals of first nations characters only to kill them off immediately to "bring the team together" hasnt gone anywhere (Suicide Squad).

at least the cartoon created this weird white guy to kill off in the first episode.

^Morph makes me so uncomfortable. why does he look like that?

also i think thunderbird's brother tries to kill Xavier like 20 years later? based

shut up kurt, you big nerd. you dont have a beard. you arent hot. you arent sexy. you're nothing.

everyday i wake up and am forced to think about sexy beard nightcrawler.

its funny how often villains are like "screw it, just shoot down the plane. only 2 of them can fly anyway". this happens a lot. i guess it makes sense

"ye foine broth of a boy" what the fuck? what's going on in Ireland, someone should check in. im def gonna start saying that tho

i just i completely forgot to talk about Banshee when i was setting up the team. this is because i completely forgot that Banshee exists. i think the character is fine, he has cool moments but he's kind of just a dude. he doesnt have wild powers or an insane belief system

his superpower is being a Loud Man. we got enough of thosesrsly tho he has no cultural relevancy.

At least Colossus got to go on Deadpool and make a bunch of jokes where the punchline is penis and/or shooting something (haven't seen the movies but i think that's what happens)

Xavier looks like an angry god. he know what you did.

ok i've been jumping around. so basically the xmen's first mission is to stop some dude from nuking the world, they fight some furry dudes, Thunderbird dies, cyclops accidently summons a demon from another dimension
And then suddenly we cut to a space station for some reason:

no more time to be thristy for nightcrawler. real plot shit is going on. oh also while all this has been happening Xavier has been telepathically e-dating some alien princess on the other side of the galaxy for some reason. yeah, i dont really know either

the xmen are visiting jean grey in New York for christmas (technically she's still off the team) when half the xmen get kidnapped by Sentinels (mutant hunting robots) and get sent to space jail by a racist military guy. a tale as old as time

i like how nobody knows what wolferine actually *is*. even by mutant standards he's weird. his teammates are confused when they realize his metal claws are actually like. coming out of him and not a part of his costume. its pretty funny

before the xmen can escape they have to fight... the old xmen?? i swear they reuse this exact same plotpoint a few issues later. it's just robot duplicates.
also Lang (the evil guy) wants to kill all mutants but also experiment on them and recreate their powers to build an army

wolferine realizes they're robots with his Hunter Senses and starts stabbing. I always thought it was a shame that he can't actually stab people in the comics or cartoons cuz of ratings. Like, it just seems a waste. Why give the boy knife hands if you won't let him stab dudes?

after beating up all the robots the X-Men board a shuttle and start flying back down to Earth. But oh no! Remember that solar flare i mentioned like 50 tweets ago? its on its way and whoever pilots the shuttle will be unprotected in the cockpit.
You've since this in 5 xmen movies

Jean volunteers to do it because she can use her telepathy to absorb piloting skills from some military dude and her telekinesis can shield her from radiation. she might last longer, but she knows she's gonna die. Cyclops obviously isn't having it so she knocks him out

the others try to talk her out of it, but she especially isn't having it with wolferine. honestly deserved. He's just a big asshole who constantly whines about how he "doesn't like working on a team". All the other xmen act like friends except Wolferine who seems to despise them

i get his whole thing is he's a "rogue with a secret heart of gold" but he comes off as a guy who just hates all his coworkers. in the cartoon when Morph dies Wolferine is actually sad, but in the comics Wolferine doesnt really care when Thunderbird dies?

Well, back to the story

this is a cool page. i think the "tactactac"s are supposed to be radiation? it makes me think of a Geiger counter. idk, its cool.

i've been talking too much, it's nice to take a break and do a show and tell

this is the very next page for some reason. a bit of a tonal shift

when they reprinted these comics in the 80s they added a bonus comic at the end that doubled the length of the issue. the bonus would focus on just 1 character. i've been neglecting then cuz they're pretty inconsequential.
misty and jean buy furniture for their apartment etc..

there's one where nightcrawler meets a kid loitering outside a hospital and they hang out for a bit. the kid eventually accepts him as a mutant, but when nightcrawler checks in at the hospital the next day, he finds out the kid's been dead for days! it must've been a g-g-g-ghost

the one on the back half of issue 100 is actually interesting tho. as Jean rapidly decomposes from radiation poisoning, she meets with the raw power of the Phoenix Force and they fuse (or something). the phoenix gets Jean's humanity, and Jean gets the strength to save the X-Men

this comic is now worth approximately ten million Billion dollars (USD). i legally obtained it for free online, further proving that comic book fans are a bunch of suckers

it literally says 30 cents right there on the cover??

also I like how for the 80s reprint they redrew the same scene from a different perspective.

it says that the reprint is worth $1 (more than 30 cents), and yet now the original is worth more than the reprint?? makes no sense

cyclops moment

good for her (she passes out immediately after saying this)

jean coma #1 by the mountain goats.
seriously tho, i remember in the cartoon she was passing out all the time.

(video title is a bit rood)

the xmen escape the crash wreckage and sneak their way to a mutant-accepting hospital for jean.

there's no heterosexual explanation for Xavier's "old boy network"