I feel like I should start a thread of things that people tell me while working in the medical field. Let’s start with today: “my daughter has worms because I caught her scratching her butt today.” ok.

In today’s healthcare chronicles: I had to remove a 44 y/o BB bullet from a guys arm and a lady had a blood vessel in her vagina bust that had to be cauterized. Fun day, y’all.

One time, I had a lady coming in for an itchy scalp and when she came into her appt she brought me what looked like an empty ziplock. When I held it up closer it had lice in it. She was catching the lice from her head as proof that she “wasn’t going crazy”.

In relation to my last tweet, I also had a lady bring me a dead mosquito in a ziplock because “it bit her and she needed us to test the mosquito for West Nile and Ebola”.

One time, I saw a lady who had high WBC (due to a recent infection) and she swore up and down that she had cancer. She wouldn’t take the answer that her WBCs would normalize after a few weeks and they were high Bc she was sick. She MADE us refer her to oncology. Like, ok.

I had a lady ask me what she can do to not tan. When I asked if she wore sunscreen, the answer was no. I gave patient education on how she should wear it, wear sun protective clothing, etc. & she then looked at me annoyed & asked, “There’s not a pill I can take?” Um, WHAT? No.

I was also assisting a pap smear and had a black foreign object obstructing my view. Turns out it was a tampon. A three month old tampon. One that the lady had no idea that she had stuck up there.